Menopause

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my husband does not understand the menopause, we have been married for nearly 13 years and I have been going through the menopause for the last 18 months, I am unable to take anything due to the fact I have fibroids, I understand what my body is going through, but my husband does not. He wants to know when it is going to stop? Told him I cannot tell him. And any disagreement we have he always says it's the menopause. But it is not always. I love him, but since his dad passed away in March of this year he gets angry at any little thing I say, I have always try to support him and my mother-in-law to which he visits her twice a day since he passed away. i Just want someone else I can talk to about this.

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  • Posted

    Talk a way to us here on the forum as we will listen. You're not alone and we will all give our advice or experience of what we are going through. I blame everything on the menopause but sometimes it's just how I feel and I'm sure I'd feel like it if it wasn't the menopause! Have to be honest I don't think I've actually sat down and had a discussion with my OH I guess I'm trying to deal with it on my own, we all deal with it differently. But remember you're not alone x
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  • Posted

    I agree w Tracky, this is a place to talk about it. I think connecting with others, going through similar circumstances, is a helpful way to deal with menopause. Sorry you have lost your father-in-law. And now your husband's mom is needing more support. You came to the right place.
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  • Posted

    If you look up all the symptoms Jay placed a while ago ,65 of them .Lots of men don't get it ,it doesent happen to them ,but you said his dad's just passed so he's low in himself etc ,tell him this is just how some women get in meno ,plus for far longer time ,then the Gyne inside symptoms ,BV AV etc,print symptoms off. Let him read it .

      Moderator will tell you where to find that list ,

       Hope things get better for you both ,this is hard for women ,that's hard if you've got no one to really listen ,maybe your mother in law could mention it to him .Chaps normally listen and take on board what their mums say ,regardless to age .Regards 

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  • Posted

    You found a good way to talk i am willing to listen. It is hard when your loved one does not understand what is going on with us. 

    At times i feel the same way with my boyfriend he doesn't understand what is going on with me at times and we have arguments at times it gets heated up to where we are yelling at each other and i end up crying or running into the bedroom or bathroom to be a lone. 

    It is hard when you don't have a lot of girl friends to talk to either 

    Try to hang in there things will settle down

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  • Posted

    Men do go through a change too.  It creeps up on them more slowly and they don't notice - just getting old.  Then one day they are impotent and want to own a sports car to compensate!

    When you find that list of menopause symptoms, look for one for men too and show him.  He might have an aha moment, and be more sympathetic.

     

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  • Posted

    Hi 'eda', all good ideas here. Yes, men go thriugh changes, though not usually as dramatic as us. Losing hair on their heads and gaining it elsewhere, (!) saggy jowels, expanding bellies, greying hair...... and that's just my OH (sorry sweetie)cheesygrin

    Reading your post made me realise how lucky I am. If my fella doesn't understand some thing he will Google it. When I was suffering with hot flushes he came home with an electric fan! It's not perfect, he does complain, especially when I can't get comfy in bed. Then it's 'For God's sake woman stop twitching!'

    Marlene has a good idea, can you get his mum onside? Again I was lucky, my fella's mum and I got on well.

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    • Posted

      My husbands good ,he listens and yes he reads up on anything I mention ,like allergies ,even the Gyne products I mention ,he will go to Holland and Barrett ,or chemist and get for me ,you name it he will do it ,

         I'm sadden when I read of others who got no support out there ,yes men do go through changes ,about same time it begins for women ,why they've got to be wary of medical body changes IE Prostate etc ,with females were all opened up to more infections ,got more inside Gyne wise going on .my husband gets that .

         My old uncle use to say men should talk more like women on health issues ,he's said its the maternal side of us ,why we do .We look for answers drs can't help us with .if no to HRT ,then your well and truly on you own out there .Good old Jay she's done a lot for this meno site .hope Eda has gone for a read up ,then sit her husband down and let him read it  long list for sure ,let him realise women get these probs ,no time limit to them either .

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    • Posted

      Hi Marlene am so glad your husband understand. I truly think

      GOD was a man cos what us woman have to go through is just

      not fair we get our period, we get pregnant, we have to go through labour pains, and then the HRT. Men do get it so easy if I could

      make a pill so men know how sore labour is I would give them it

      and then say just breath through it LOL if only. Am so glad your h

      husband understand hope you keep well and God bless your

      understanding husband xxxx

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  • Posted

    Hi EDA am so sorry your husband doesn't understand as not all men do. I was with someone for over 15 years and cos I wasn't interested in sex we ended. We are still very close but when you got hot sweats and things the last thing you want is sex. I think it more to do with his dad passing that getting to him I think he needs to talk to someone. Hope that helps xxx
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