menopause

Wouldnt you think, that with the amount of us on this forum, that have been to the hospital god knows how many times because of how worried we have become, about all our different symptoms, one lot one day and another lot the next, and were all given so many tests, all of us female, around the ages of 35/60 and they havent found anything wrong with us,  wouldnt you think, there would be one dr who stood out, oh i wish there  was a dr like this, because in the ten years ive been on it, i havent met him yet, who was different from all the rest, and said, do you think what links these ladies is, the menopause!!!!!.....................HALLELUYA!!   why do drs need proof from a test!  if the test is normal, then it must all be in our heads!  dont they realise it just makes going through all this,  even harder.  just imagine, if we all turned up at the same hospital, at the same time, with the same symptoms as one another, that would really freak them out wouldnt it, oh no............we cant tell them all, there is nothing wrong with them can we, the medical books didnt prepare us for this....................theres always one though,  I know, we could always tell them its a  VIRUS...........ha  

When were due a period, certain hormones are released, and i dont know which ones it is, but they are responsible for making the womb relax ready for a period, and when this happens, thats when we get the pains in our womb and pelvic area, could also be down to the fact that we lose muscle tone during peri, as well now so our muscles are weaker, making us ache more, plus if were going through pms, or, anxiety symptoms during peri, we then lose cortisol, which is what keeps our bones supple, and thats why, when we are under stress during other times,  our bodies ache. 

Wow your fantastic I'm a nurse practitioner and I listen to my patients especially woman who come in with symptoms much like all of us and I do the best I can to help them. I have terrible pain all the time and anxiety but dam it's no joke these symptoms are real and Doctors especially men doctors look at us like we are crazy! I wish they could walk in our shoes for just one day I bet they would listen to us then

Wow, Misty, I did not realize you were a Nurse Practitioner, I just started seeing a N.P too, but she seems sort of cold and formal. I am not sure how it is going to work out.  I agree with Elaine about all the symptoms.  As Elaine knows, I have significant problems emotionally dealing with the symptoms. I worry so much that they are linked to a serious problem, I have started seeing a therapist and she is very kind. I too wonder why so many of us were not told about the plethora of symptoms nad how they can leave for awhile and then come back, Because here is an example, I was not having the swelling feeling in my collar area and the tightness and joint pain in my shoulder the bursa in my shoulder was not bothering me. I was drinking the omega oils and flaxseed oil, I felt relief,. I ran out of it and then everything came back. Then the fear came back, there is a part of me that relaizes its menopausal, but the other part of me is terrified. The therapist has asked me good questions that are helping me question why I am so afraid. 

Nurse practitioners in my opinion, are the best to see, ive had a couple who have actually told me what to say to a gp, to get what i want you have to get wise to the system, if it wasnt for their advice, i would still be sat at home., worrying myself sick.  You have to take control for yourself now, drs, and tests can be wrong, and  GPs nowadays in England anyway, in my opinion, are too worried about budgets and how much can we get out of the system with her illness, ontop of that, there is their arrogance, and ignorance, of them, they are totally on the defensive when you go in, and actually argue your symptoms down, they dont listen, or, treat preventatively like they use too, and the care just isnt there anymore, for me, going to A&E in England and god forbid going in  hospital, is the worst thing to do for your health, and that isnt how it should be should it?  

I agree Elaine and I am not saying my N.P is not good, its a first impression thing, but she seems very, very detailed and thorough one thing I liked about her is when I told her that I have health anxiety, she said well lets get you in counseling and see me in a month, so that was really pleasant, my male doctors just wanted to give me medicine and did not say anything about therapy. I liked the fact that she was not rushing me into things for a little bit. My therapist is great I saw her again today and she said next week we are going to start addressing the root of my fears and where it started.   

Thats great Lennie, sounds its given you perspective hasnt it, like your getting somewhere with it all now, hope i think is the word im looking for, she sounds great!!  Some drs, it seems easier just to dish out the pills, but you get labelled then when you know in your mind its a health problem, when really the route cause needs addressing, then hopefully the pills wont be needed, understanding whats wrong! whats causing it! and now i know, i can handle it myself! good luck with it Lennie, and let us know how it all goes.

Absolutely,  Elaine, I am not opposed to using the medication if necessary and it may come to that, but the medication will help cope with the anxiety, I need to address why I have the fear that is a) irrational and b) why I am so worried about everything. As she said today, medical science has come a very, very long way, Even if you had a problem, there is treatment. I told her I know this, its dealing with the anxiety about possibilities of hearing bad news. I dont know if a pill can resolve that, she said she did not understand why this has emerged now.  I said I believe its hormonal factors. 

It is strange, but the very same thing happened to my sister, all her childhood phobias surfaced during menopause, and she did end up on medication for it, i will have to check with her, if she is still on it, as she has been post now for 3 years, so she shouldnt need it now, will be interesting to see if she has come off it, i think its the heightened anxiety, which causes the fear and dread in us, and maybe this is what makes us try and tie in, well what is it im frightened of, and maybe this is why our fears come out to maybe justify the amount of anxiety were under, were blaming our anxiety on oursevles, andi think in part, that is down to the way drs, have handled our anxiety, because nothings shown on tests, so, it must be us, or, something in the back of our minds, Its like, when we fall asleep, and we may have cramp in our leg, we become aware of it during sleep, but we dont wake straight away, so instead our brains, make a story out of it to tie it in with what could be causing the pain in our legs or, wherever,  ive done that many times in my sleep, does that make sense lennie?? 

PS...........if you think the meds will help you through it, then take that break i did, i took Sertraline anti depressant for 2 years to get me through until post, needed something to get rid of the black depression, couldnt cope with everything else with depression that bad, way too much for me, dont need it now things settled  thank goodness, so it doesnt necessarily mean if you do take something, you will be on it long term.

Elaine, I suspect that these are the factors are why I have so much anxiety:

1. Media/TV frequently showing in advertising about medicines and of course cancer all the time

2. My own symptoms ALL the time that come and go, it scares me, pain, swelling, ect

3. My best friend passed a year ago of colon cancer

4. Issues that are still a problem with me mainly my weight and needing to lose 50 pounds

5. Ending up on more medicines.

 I think all of this has played a key role 

Without a doubt its played a role.  Totally agree and understand where you coming from on the meds front, i took Sertraline SSRI anti depressant for 2 years to get me through the peri depression, ive always suffered with it during period time pms, so i knew it was going to get worse once peri kicked in but wasnt prepared for how black it became, and yet i coped with the increasing anxiety, i took it the ssri for two years, suffered no side affects, insisted on a low dosage it only took the edge off which, is all i was looking for, wasnt happy with the written side affects, but, only stayed on them until i felt the depression was low enough for me to live with it again, since ive been post thats when all my symptoms became milder in order for me to do that, so short term meds im definately for, but unfortunately it doesnt work like that for everyone, people who need life saving drugs for life, so yes, they end up with more illnesses, and have to rely on more meds to control the new illnesses, and severe side affects,  so, its a tough one!