Menopause has ruined my life. I'm a year in the symptoms are unbearable. Don't want to live anymore

Posted , 7 users are following.

I feel like I can't take another day of feeling this way. Periods stopped a year ago. The symptoms have only gotten worse, day by day. I've never had depression or anxiety in my life, I've always been insanely happy and full of joy and energy all the time, and suddenly I am crippled by both. I have no interest in anything anymore. I can barely function. I have no energy and no hope. All I want to do is lay down, can barely walk. The brain fog is horrible, I have no patience for anything, I cry constantly over nothing, deep and painful sobbing crying, my body doesn't function anymore (pain, aches, chest pains, internal buzzing and tremors, dizziness, ringing ears, sweating, chills, can't remember anything, phantom cramps, nausea). I want to give up because I don't have any motivation for anything. Everything, even going to the store, just feels like too much effort. I feel like I'm 85 years old, I'm only 54. I've tried everything and nothing even comes close to touching this (I have been insanely healthy about diet, exercise, organic, etc., my whole life, blah blah blah...boring and none of it helps this). This is an evil force and life wrecker. I really don't understand how something can feel so bad and there is no remedy. Apparently HRT will give you cancer, but should we just do it anyway? I'm going to end my life anyway if I don't start feeling better, so I might as well feel better for a while? I feel like I'm dying more each day and I am really trying to determine a way out of this. How the hell are 50-something celebrities who seem to be fine getting through this? How did Madonna get through this? I know these sound like inane comments, but jeezus I just can't go on another day. This seems incredibly unfair, and especially because I never even had children, never wanted to. This is pure hell now.

2 likes, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • Edited

    Hi Lisa,

    Do you have access to a holistic or alternative doctor in your area? They will run blood work and get you on the right hormones to make you start feeling better. The synthetic hormone treatments are the ones that have cancer causing issues. Get on some bio identical hormones. If you are monitored properly you may find some good results that could make you feel good again.

    Feeling down in the dumps and not being able to function in life is no good. There is help out there for women going through menopause and unfortunately the general doctors don't seem to have much to offer.

    I was 55 when my periods ended and I got on bio identical hormone creams right away. I'm now on bio T pellets and I love them. I'm going to be 63 next month. Again, finding a well versed doctor, typically holistic or alternative doc is key to having the outcome your looking for. This is not typically covered by any insurance but well worth the money to feel good again. Until then, push yourself to get out, go for a walk, push yourself forward little by little each day. Good Luck!

    • Edited

      Hi Jude,

      Thank you so much for this information about bio identical creams. It's made me feel more hopeful. I am located in Northern California and there are many naturopathic and osteopathic doctors here. I will look into these creams. It sounds like they are all natural based on blood panels? I'm desperate at this point to find something to make me feel like myself again, and to get out of this horrifically dark place. I'm willing to spend whatever amount it takes. I agree that traditional medicine doesn't have anything to offer women on this front. It doesn't help that no one I know is even willing to admit this is happening to them. It feels like the end of the person you once were, so no one wants to go there. Thank you so very much.

    • Edited

      Lisa,

      Being you are in California you should have all kinds of holistic docs to choose from. I started looking around as soon as I started feeling "off" and I didn't like what I was seeing or feeling. I knew there had to be something out there and I got busy researching my alternatives. I live in a remote area but was willing to drive if needed to get my hormones I needed to keep my mind and body from going into free fall. I'm so glad I did. I was lucky and found a holistic doc about a mile from me! He is a MD that left his practice to go into holistic doctoring. I hear you about women, I think many suffer in silence and don't discuss it with anybody.

  • Edited

    It is such a horrible time but you will get through - you sound like me never had children and want to get on with my life and being tortured by this madness. There is alot of research that if you have had any earlier trauma menopause can be worse - so be kind to yourself. You will get through - go and get some HRT! x

  • Edited

    Hello, Lisa. Listen - I know EXACTLY how you feel and I want you to know some things that are evidence based that WILL make you feel better. i am in surgical menopause (I had my ovaries removed) 9 years ago. That's the most drastic menopause a woman can have with severe symptoms, so I know my stuff. I felt exactly as you do but when I stopped my HRT. What you're experiencing are estrogen deficiency symptoms, and what will help you is FDA approved body identical HRT. Nothing else. Not bioidenticals, herbs, antidepressants etc. I want you to go over to the North American Menopause Society website (just do a Google search and you'll find it) and search their directory of approved board certified professionals in your area. If you don't want to or can't attend in person, many are happy to offer a telemedicine appointment. HRT does not automatically mean cancer, and most women unless high risk can take HRT. I don't want you to suffer a momemt longer - your symptoms are real and you deserve the right help to feel better ASAP. I have now restarted my HRT and already feel much, much better again after just 3 weeks. This could be the same for you too - it can take a while longer to feel the full effects, but you will start to feel better quite quickly. No woman needs to suffer like this - and there is no arbitrary time limit for HRT now so you can stay on it for life if you choose. I hope this helps, Lisa. Please take my advice. Sending much love and virtual hugs your way too.

  • Edited

    Forgot to add - the FDA approved body identical HRTs (patches, gels, sprays and pills) are all now synthesised from soy or yams to mimic exactly what your own body produces. No one prescribes synthetic HRT any more. Compounded bioidenticals are to be avoided as they are not well regulated and dosages can vary widely from one batch to another.

  • Edited

    Hi Lisa ,

    had to reply as Im now 56 and have been exactly where you are.

    your not alone and I can assure you there are other women who are going through the same .

    I started meno at 51 ans struggled for over 2 years with all the symptoms you described.

    like you I was/ am fit, with a proffessional job and ex military.

    I used to wake up and think whats the point , I even called my GP and told her I want to get off the bus. I have a lovely female GP who tried me on HRT patches but they caused heavy bleeding so I took them off and struggled on . Eventually at a week before my 55th birthday I was having a check up with a Gynae and HRT was brought up. Because I couldn't tolerate the progesterone element of HRT in tablet/ patches she fitted me with a coil so the progesterone was directly on my cervix and not going through my body and gave me an oestrogen gel. This CHANGED MY LIFE. Im fully aware of all the risks of HRT ( small ) . but I couldn't go on the way I was.

    Im not saying my life is perfect but its 100% better than it was - no hot flushes, aches, anxiety, migraine etc my energy levels are better and I dont want to leave my husband every day (lol).

    my advice to you would be try HRT. I have friends who stubbornly wont go on it but they struggle everday just like you are.

    From a woman like you who thought there was no point- there is x

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