Menopause - Hating Life

Posted , 11 users are following.

I just turned 51 and menopause is hitting me hard. You name the symptom, I have it to an unbearable degree.

I have constant hot flashes to the point where I have to leave the house as soon as possible in the mornings so that I can cool down and even breathe. All clothes feel disgusting. I might as well never take a shower because I'll take one and be sweating two minutes later.

My anger has gotten out of control. Twice in the last six months I have lost my cool and completely screamed at strangers. I go into uncontrollable rages and scream and break things. My husband is at his wit's end and has been ready to leave me. I've tried to inform him about menopause symptoms but he'd rather blame me and feel sorry for himself.

I've gotten so hateful I don't want to talk to anyone, even distancing myself from my children, which I've never done before.

I never sleep and my job/education has suffered greatly due to chronic insomnia. The insomnia is debilitating.

I've gotten fat and can't stand to look at myself. People who say you should go out and exercise no matter how tired you are should just stuff it. I'm too sleep-deprived to do anything or even care anymore. I used to be very fit and exercised every day.

I have an appointment with an ob-gyn to discuss HRT after Christmas. Hopefully that will bring me to some degree of sanity.

Hopefully somebody out there can relate. Don't tell me I'm depressed, I already know that.

1 like, 8 replies

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hey Laura,

    I am very sorry to hear about your condition. Maybe you should try engaging in some activities like hitting the gym or going for regular swims? These will help reduce your anxiety levels.

    Have you thought about taking any natural vitamins or supplements?

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  • Posted

    hi Laura,

    youre taking the right step going to discuss hrt. it helps no end of women. my anxiety rocketed suddenly so i got put on antidepressants rather than hrt.

    magnesium and b12 supplements and vit d over the winter help many meno sufferers. i take them all and low dose prozac now.

    I can relate, I've had a hellish 2 yrs and only recently went back to work part time, i lost all confidence. no sick pay either so its not like i could afford to take a year off work!

    ive also put on loads of weight due to meno and antidepressants. never had a problem with it before. i thought id have been better during meno with a partner but as i often read, many women with partners say the opposite! ive since met someone who only knows me as i am now, not slim and confident as i was lol. hes very understanding, which is rare! there is a light at the end of the tunnel, whether its via natural supplements, hrt or other meds like antidepressants.

    from what i can understand, we need estrogen to make serotonin, so as our estrogen drops so does our mood. fat cells make estrogen so we try and compensate by piling on fat! adding to the feeling of inadequacy! it's rubbish laura but there are plenty of women going thru this awful time who'll be happy to support & encourage.

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  • Posted

    Laura Laura Laura

    I wont tell you that your depressed.

    I know. How in the heck are you supposed to exercise when you have no mental or physical faculites left, no reserves...

    If i dont sleep or get into that sleep deprivation mode, i wont exercise, because i almost feel like ill have a heart attack, so be easy on yourself.

    Be gentle with yourself.

    Your isolating because you are trying to self preserve, its that simple. Its the correct thing to do.

    Your family needs to understand that you dont want to be this way.

    Im hoping that you can get on hrt, and just be patient with it. Get your labs done, i dont know if youd be interested in saliva testing to see where your hormones are at, but they are out of whack im sure.

    Dont give up the hope that you will return to normal, it might take awhile.

    • go to doc get something for sleep first and foremost - whether its ambien, valium something to shut down your brain
      • get hormone testing, and get some hrt on board.
    • most docs will want you on antidepressants. if you can avoid this, all the better. Hormonal depression is a SYMPTOM not the root of it all. sleep deprivation almost always causes our moods to plummet so do hormonal changes..
    • there are calming supplements but you will need to do trial and error to find out what helps. There are sooo many things you could take.

      keep me posted


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  • Posted

    Hi hearing you and your frustrations...its awful...i dont get flushes but i get bad tummy, headaches awful low mood, you name it....

    your life is turned upside down and cannot cope at times...laura speak to your gp or doctor..hrt may help...i am on it and can help...know you are not alone laura. and please come in here and vent...our bodies are transitioning and its hang tight lovey..there is always hope..HRT may help so see how you get on...big hug xo CK

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  • Posted

    Hey Laura...when this horrible journey began for me a few years ago, I wanted/needed a punching bag. I too was always in shape and thin. Now it's yoga pants and sweatshirts. Can't stand to look in a mirror and see the fat and crepe skin. The wrinkles, droopy neck, etc. Turning 50 in a week. Always imagined that the "golden years" would be SO much better without periods. What I wouldn't give for hormones now! I've distanced myself from just about everyone in my life. Have felt like a terrible mom, and we're not! No one can understand this that isn't going through it. I hope HRT gives you some reprieve from this hell we're going through. CBD oil is the only thing that has helped me. I also take a handful of vitamins everyday, and have been on thyroid medication for years. This is NO way to live and SO unfair!

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  • Posted

    Sorry to hear this. At times I too hate what I"m going thru and that it will never get better. There is a womens health vitamin on the 'home shopping channel' that I take. So many reviews on how their hot flashes have deminished-- I'm sure it helps other things as well. I also take extra Vit D and magnasium at night-- I believe the vit D helps with my mood and the mag helps my aches and pains as well as sleep. It's worth trying.. If you can, try to get out for a walk--with a dog, friend or even by yourself. I'm not a walker but when my friend gets me to walk, I do feel better!! Take care!!

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  • Posted

    Hi Laura

    I came back to this site as I´m having such a crappy few days, and I am boiling with anger (Christmas spirit go f yourself is my attitude). And I read your post and I feel your pain. I am shocked at my mood, I am just so angry, depressed and, fatalistic, might be the word. I just don´t care. What´s worse is I´m making everyone else miserable which makes me three times more miserable. I had this 9 years ago in peri menopause (I since found out) and my mood swings and low feelings just made my life worse, the actions I took, behaviour, etc, just made things worse. And now it´s back!!! Mad itching, ecsema in my ears, itchy head, forgetfulness (I have offended 3 people by not buying gifts or giving them something, and have fallen out or nearly with at least 3 people just this week. I well up at nothing and cry whenever I´m alone. I have become silent and avoid people becasuse I´m scared of what I´ll say to them and I think they can see I´m half mad from my face. There is a constant deep dragging in my chest. I was horrible to one of my kids, verbally, today, just mean, when normally I would recognise what´s going on in her life rather than dwelling on my own, and just about stopped myself being horrible to the other one. I feel like a bag of ****. Hate life, hate this. It doesn´t stop, I am officially post-menopause but still can feel like this. Sorry this went into bold, can´t take it off. Right now I would take HRT and bin all the supplements and walking I´m doing because IMHO they don´t work. My advice to you would be to get some HRT and get back to normal. I think I´m going to have to. Quality of life is everything. I wish you the best.

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    • Posted

      whatever gets you your life back Ali, Laura and all! whether its supplements and exercise (like we feel like it?!) hrt or anti depressant/anti anxiety meds. we've lost estrogen, we've not got enough serotonin because of this, there is no shame in getting help. we won't get a medal for suffering lol. lifes too short to lose years to this!

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