Menopause or Bipolar
Posted , 6 users are following.
I have delt with depression for years and now have been diagnosed with Bipolar as well. I need to find out if part of this isn't Menopause. They said I'm full on Menopause months after they have been treating my mental health issues. Reading some of the different women on here leads me to beleive this is a big part of Menopause. The mood swings and demented thoughts. SELF DOUBT is one of my biggest scares!! I ask my husband all the time what I should do or say or ect... over stupid things. I never use to be this way! I feel dyslexic, forgetful, and just unsure of myself. Yes Hot flashes and need to sleep with my feet out from under the blankets with the fan on. Has anyone else been diagnosed with a mental health disorder since Menopause?
0 likes, 49 replies
mauiblue michelle55523
Posted
I entered menopause as well now going on i guess 8 months, and since yes ive definitely fallen into serious depression of which i battle daily. Good and bad days mostly bad..then a few good. Its very difficult to manage with just progesterone alone. Im trying not to take anything but i may have to...to up and down for me.
Have you gone through different testing to confirm its bipolar and not just severe mood swings/hormones that can cause this?
Ive read and know for sure that different women have been diagnosed with bipolar when its simply reporductive depression, as I have.
All of what you describe i experience, and other ladies here im sure.
Are you taking anything and if so is it helping? there is an interesting doctor by the name of Dr studd out of britain and he studies this. maybe you could look him up.
Im with you Michelle, its hard , so very hard to deal with these things, as our world gets turned up side down.
michelle55523 mauiblue
Posted
Deffinetly am going to suggest to lower my meds and see what happens.
I know my husband seems to think my meds work and I have to say he knows me better than I know myself somethimes. I will look into Dr Studd thank you!
Great name lol
My sleepless nights and manic episodes have reduced not that it dosen't still happen but deffinetly not as often as they did. I wonder don't most people worry at night and up at night thinking? I don't always mind my manic moments I get a LOT done and do most of my thinking and feel like I have accomplished a lot.
I have to say thank you for responding and it really helps to share here with others that feel the same.
Gigi368 michelle55523
Posted
Michelle,
I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this at once. It's quite overwhelming to say the least. I'm very new to this menopause crap myself, so like you I found this site and the ladies are so helpful and knowledgeable.
I was diagnosed with severe panic and anxiety disorder after my son was born in 1989, I was 21. I've never been clinically depressed, but did have a very bad bout of postpartum depression. I've been on an anti depressant and a nerve pill ever since. I have too much serotonin in my brain and when it surges I get very very bad anxiety attacks that can last hours to days on end. I have in all these years learned my triggers and what to do to combat them before they get bad. That being said, now that I'm post menopausal and on a hormone because of VVA, my anxiety symptoms have increased to where I'm not sure whats anxiety and what is menopause symptoms. It's mind boggling all on it's own without having a mental health issue.
First thing, how long has it been since your last period? Have you been to the gyno and had your hormone levels checked. My doc personally won't do a hormone panel bc she said it's basically a wasted test since I had a hysterectomy 16 yrs ago (I'm 49 now), but kept my ovaries. I call foul on it, I'd like to know exactly where the levels are but she said they can and will change daily until the ovaries are finally dried up.
Second, everything you're describing I think we've all been through or are still going through it, I promise you're not losing your mind about that. Take it day by day and keep active, if you aren't confident enough to go out on your own, exercise at home! Do some breathing exercises when you're feeling overwhelmed, focus on those breaths in and out instead of dark thoughts.
And the best advice I can give you is, go to your GP and get a full physical, blood work and all, make sure they check your thyroid. If you're seeing a therapist, make sure you tell him/her your symptoms and concerns, and if you're on medication talk about that and see if there's an adjustment that needs to be made.
I'm so far from qualified to talk about some of the natural treatments a lot of women use. Hopefully someone will weigh in with some advice or articles to read that may help. I'm still treading water myself and doing research along with talking to the ladies here. Take some deep breaths, you're not alone! Keep us updated and we're here to talk if you need to!
Hugs and Best Wishes!!!!!!
michelle55523 Gigi368
Posted
Thanks for the advice and kind words. I have had my blood tested and all the Dr said was YUP your full blown Menopause! No S**T!!! lol Then talking to my psychiatrist that maybe this has a lot to do with my change of life??? she agreed and didn't suggest much or anything. I see her in a few weeks and will suggest maybe lowering my Psyc meds? So glad I found this forum. It really helps hearing others and what they are experiencing.
lelawreck michelle55523
Posted
mauiblue lelawreck
Posted
im kauaiblue but changed to mauiblue, thought it was more personable.
I hear you 100%, and always like to read your posts, as i relate to them so well. Is there anything you can do or that you take that helps you with this at all?
Vix72 lelawreck
Posted
i am the same, its absolutely crippling right now. when I'm not anxious I'm wondering when i will be again and BAM there it is....it all feels too much
lelawreck mauiblue
Posted
Hey there Mauiblue. Yes I can recall that we have shared a few thoughts with one another. Sad to say, but the only thing I am taking now is Xanor.5mg to keep the anxiety under control. I used 1mg for a month just to get through the worst. I made a lifestyle change and started cutting out all refined sugar products, I stopped taking caffeine, alcohol and starch and any form of gluten. I went "green", lol, eating a lot of fish and poultry produce. I am taking Vit D and B supplements, Calcium and Magnesium and Omega 3. I am going for CBT once every 2 weeks and have downloaded a free app on my phone - stop panic and anxiety that teaches you systematically to deal with anxiety by rekindling the way your brain operates during an attack, how to meditate and breathing exercises. Some days I am a complete wreck but do have good days too. Unfortunately when having a good day - I cannot but help to keep on thinking when a panic attack will be hitting me again - and then by the word off me, it hits me. I think it will still take a lot of practice to get rid of the negative thinking. I am trying to take each day at a time and keep on telling myself that peri will pass and this is just a phase. I will eventually get my zest for life back and these are just all nasty symptoms and I am not an emotional wreck, nor will I end up in an institution or have a complete breakdown nor am i having a heart attach, nor am I busy dying of some dreadful disease. it is just peri and I need to deal with the 66 nasty symptoms. Just so exhausting sometimes to override your own thoughts, lol.
Vix72 lelawreck
Posted
lelawreck Vix72
Posted
mauiblue lelawreck
Posted
If it sounds like you have exhausted all avenues and I am also in the process. I have not done CBT and then is next I changed my eating because I cannot eat sugar it just is too gnarly but I am taking fish oils vitamin D magnesium ashwagandha etc etc.
It sounds as though yours is more anxiety not depression mine is both.
I think I will look for a CVT online and talk myself from this that's next.
You're right though this forum is a lifesaver because we truly question whether we can make this or not or just simply go crazy.
Whatever medication whatever therapy it takes should never be judged by anybody it's what we have to do to get through.
I'm just hoping it actually gets better over time not just carry on forever because then in fact it can do a number on you mentally.
I might try for Xanax also I just know it makes you sleepy I have taken the Valium at night to make me sleep because if I don't sleep then I'm screwed.
Thanks for all of the reassuring words per usual
Xoxo
melinda128 lelawreck
Posted
lelawreck, I have GAD along with other things like NED, postmenopausal, etc. Anxiety and depression I believe is in the top five for me. Depression almost got me. I hit bottom. It hit before menopause and I thought I was loosing it. With help from a nurse practioner, meds, counseling and God's grace, I survived. It can be rough if you try to go it my yourself. Which I did at first. I am glad to see you ladies talking very openly to each other. I wish I had this when I was going through the dark tunnel. I love this site and thanks ladies for sharing.?
Vix72 michelle55523
Posted
oh Michelle, how i feel your pain!!!! below is my story if for nothing else to let you know you aren't alone...and i'm probabaly in a bigger s**t heap than you
My anxiety is probably the same. I was given the sleeping pills for sleep which was caused by either perimenopause – too much GABA and excitory neurons flying around due to hormones or by mid life crisis/breakdown/emergence/anxiety/depression/self esteem/childhood trauma/self worth issues…. But to name a few.
I was going along normally, single mum three kids getting best as I could when in all went to s**t. Ran into huge debt, anxiety up the wazoo and who knows what else thrown in for good measure. Oh, and finally with the love of my life, but not feeling like I deserve to be somehow but on the hand knowing I definitely deserve it…at that point I was scared for my life. Scared I would hurt myself or my child (14), not that I have ever done anything like that but my mum did when I was young and I’ve always feared I’m like her….self-fulfilling perhaps…anyway…
So I thought the anxiety might be food related and began to eliminate most everything and I began to urge my sins to people, anyone and most everyone which is a bit dangerous actually. I have been fraudulent and that destabilises me too, fear of being found out etc.…the probability is very low but it is still there and it has raised its head to bite me…now I know that we have all done s**t, stuff we aren’t proud of or dishonest stuff and we are our own most severe critic, mine seems very severe right now…I lost 8 kilos quite rapidly and slowly began to rebuild that ( I’ve regained 5 kilos now). A functional health Dr told me the anxiety was related to elevated copper levels in my blood and tissues – copper poisoning and that sometimes it was associated with bi polar or other mental health issues. I was freakin beside myself. My psychologist that I had been seeing since april was very reassuring and supportive but I was falling into a hole. I didn’t understand how that you could just happen and in fact I had felt anxiety kind of brewing for a while be it relationship, life, imbalances, diet, trauma what have you… I felt it growing…almost eclipsing me. My wise women friends told me it was ‘the change’ and that a part of us does die when we go through it, as I just felt so foreign to myself and control has always been such a huge part of my survival, I grew up in an alcoholic home with violence and lots of stuff. I made sure I had control of stuff in my adult life, no drinking, quitting smoking etc I did have anxiety when the kids were little and at different times in my life but I kind of pushed it under the rug and kept on keeping on..
But its seemed it wasn’t food related as the anxiety persisted, it did abate a touch in july, not hugely but a little and seemed to be triggered around my partner, my daughter, death, suicide, jail, all hugely overwhelming things really….in july I felt a bit better, almost kind of had days where I would notice I wasn’t AS anxious, it was still there but not so dominant until I got anxious about when anxiety would come again….then I was diagnosed with pre cervical cancer ( just like my mum) and pregnant. We spent a hellacious week that eventually ended in miscarriage. It was odd but I felt a strange relief in that week. We went to the hospital and they gave me a date for 2 weeks time for surgery,. We were driving to Melbourne to see my daughter who had relocated earlier in the year for university but made it halfway before a panic attack set in and we turned around to come home. She was hugely disappointed which added to my self worth deficit. The disappointment card is a brutal one to hear…
Then 2 weeks later had surgery to remove the precancerous cells….just prior to that I started seeing a new psychologiost who told me I needed sleeping pills and a relaxant as I had been totally wired since the pregnancy and not slept..probably hormone related I suppose but I was having PTSD type dreams and experiences of life flashing before my eyes… that scared the s**t out of me, mean while she had me go to a naturopath that had me take a mutli b complex….i think that wasn’t such a good thing for me. The 2 weeks after the surgery I noticed a little calm wash over me, I was so proud of myself for going ahead with the surgery as I was petrified of the general anesthetic unveiling a sinister mental health issue…everyone assured me it wouldn’t and that my anxiety was enough of a contender.. I had 2 ladies I knew pass the previous year from cancer and a lady a t choir choose to end her life with assisted suicide after finding out she had a terminal degenerative brain issue and a parent form my childrens primary school took his own life too…these things rocked me to my core…my anxiety just kept increasing until the morning I was due to go back to hospital t get my results…all clear they told me, but I noticed I was a little disappointed. I don’t want to be sick or die but I think a part of me actually does.. maybe there is something in me that needs healing, to learn to love myself and allow myself a fulfilled life, that I cant seem to get to so the anxiety distracts me…I don’t know…
That day I was in despair when I woke up, I was composing a suicide not in my head and told my partner who rushed me to our Dr who prescribed Valium and a referral to a psychiatrist. I avoided the Valium during the day but took it that night, only 2.5 mg but to no avail. Sleep alluded me. The next day a ‘crisis’ session at the pshychiatrist who told me I was going to be ok, it was anxiety and I needed to sleep, here take 2 of these a night…so I did but I was so fearful of taking them. Fearful of dependency both psychologically and psysically. I slept a bit but not too much…the anxiety remained. It continued to escalate. I couldn’t seem to regain myself from it. So I checked into a private facility to help me learn how to cope with it and also to keep me safe…keep taking the sleeping pills they tell me, they will help with anxiety whilst giving me other drugs that I believe are still in my system 2 weeks later. Oh and if you need it here is some Valium…My relationship is strained, he won’t leave but he is only staying i believe to stop me hurting myself. And I feel the weight of myself on my friends. So I started tapering off the sleeping pills last Monday, went down by 5 mg for the first 3 days, thought I was doing ok but on Thursday night I cracked ( I also got my period, my anxiety is massive around period and ovulation). I go I become obsessed with things whatever it may be… anxiety, benzos, peri menopause, suicide…my mind works super quick and superr well and is very resourceful but it not helpful right now… I am trying to train it though. Going to CBT twice a week.
oh and now i also have depression and feel like just ending it all....really
Patient Vix72
Posted
Hi Vix72
We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.
If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.
Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.
If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.
Kindest regards
Patient
Vix72 Patient
Posted
Thanks so much
mauiblue Vix72
Posted
Just know that you will get through all of this. Its a day by day, hour by hour thing sometimes.
I really like how you described menopause as kind of dying and going into a new person, a new phase, and that you feel foreign to yourself.
Youve had lots of hard times. I completetly understand your words. NO you wont self harm, you are strong and getting through all of this.
It simply a dreadful time that all there is to this. Be strong and get through each day. This is what i do, and somehow some way it gets ever so slowly better.
Im with you, and i understand your pain i really do.
XOXOX
mauiblue Vix72
Posted
do not hestitate to take whatever is necessary to get you back to functioning properly.
AD, valium, sleeping pills...whatever it takes because your conditon needs to stabilize and the medications will serve as a bridge, not an addiction. The benefits
outweigh by far the risks at this point. This is what ive told myself as I I am also careful what i take and am always not wanting to, but its necessary sometimes, so you can get back in control.
Especially with sleep. Its the cornerstone of our health. If i dont have sleep nothing matters, its an ABSOLUTE must.
XOXXO
Vix72 mauiblue
Posted
Hi Mauiblue,
Im guessing you are in Maui? I am in Sydney Australia... this is by far the scariest time of my life. i've truly never felt so foreign to myself. I asked my Dr today to do a brain scan, as this just doesn't feel like me...there is a part of me that wishes for an illness so i can be looked after and understood and given sedatives. I'm still using the sleeping pills 6 weeks later. My Dr thinks i'm a bit too unstable to come off them. I'm tired all day and have awful sore boobs and back and joints.. and my face gets all tingly and so does the back of my head...I feel so spacey most of the time, like i'm not where everyone else is but am outside looking in....i get totally obsessed with things. Haven't worked for 6 weeks now and can't imagine it actually. i cry all the time but not full on weepy weepy tears, scared tears of fear and distress....i do feel so very very alone!!!
Vix72
Posted
and thank you so much for your words of support, they mean a lot to me even though i don't know you and you don't know me....
I hope you are doing ok.
Vix72 mauiblue
Posted
ive been taking them for 5 weeks now so it is getting a bit scary, i haven't felt functional for months. July was kinda better but now its off the charts again. I'm just so scared of EVERYTHING.... where am I?
mauiblue Vix72
Posted
Hi there
Before i head off to bed (and hopefully sleep)
i wanted to say again that you are understood. even though this is all so weird.
When there is true understanding i dont think it matters that we know eachother..
its just that we relate. So many going through this.
for me good days and many bad ones..just struggling and thankful for the good days.
Yes
the fear and distress is part of the whole thing, the anxiety the hormones cause a massive change.
I used to feel like i just wanted to be 'saved' helped and loved and supported but there is noone but myself to care for my boys. So im handling it alone, and its going to be ok..
everyday is a success at the end of the day, just know it will improve. Focus on sleep and allow the body to repair itself.
Its a whole body process, our hormones rely on sleep to get better, to digest food, to think, to feel..
and so just sleep as muchas you can, and make sure you are trying to eat fairly well,and drink water. Dont let
FEAR run you...because it will if you let it so just go through it not around it. Go right through it..and hang in there..there is a reason to be going through this in some sick way or another...
take care and the ladies here are awesome i think they will help too.
Im with you.
mauiblue..im not in maui but close
mauiblue Vix72
Posted
YES also by far the scariest time in my life as well...by far
hope this helps put it into perspective that this reaches far and beyond the oceans...menopause is off the chart ridiculous scary
Vix72 mauiblue
Posted
thank you so much Mauiblue, your words offer me a sliver of hope...
.this is really truly is the most unusual, scary, confronting, psychologically messed up time of my life, and my teens weren't pretty either. its just grabbed me and dragged me to places i had no idea existed within myself. but knowing I'm not alone, that others are with me and understand if not share the exact same experiences offers me some calm...
You sound well young lady, you said you have good days....that's promising too
mauiblue Vix72
Posted
but yes slowly its improving, very far from normal though.
Ive been battling this since March of this year so its been rough and it doesnt improve quickly.
Yes this whole things has been the hardest thing ive ever been through in my life.
Depression is the worst.
Im hoping it isnt with me forever so im on a mission to change a lot of things to improve. I know im not the same person pre menopause and i dont expect to be becauase this is a transformation that is necessary, but i want to be happy and healthy so that is my goal.
I at least want to finish raising my boys and then whastver happens is ok, i just owe them me with all my faculies.
Hang tight, it will be alright
mauiblue
Vix72 mauiblue
Posted
i think you sound amazing!.
for me th ejourney started in april, im sure you have read that very long winded message i wrote! It did start to get better in July but then an unplanned pregnancy and precervical cancer crept up on me...i have gone down some avenues that haven't proved helpful but i have an amazing GP who understands and i have just made an appointment with one of our best endocrine/ gynaecologists who can hopefully help me too. i want to live a very long productive, active healthy life with all of my faculties for me and my children and their future children. I WANT THAT!!
how old are your boys? i have a 19 girl, 17 boy and 14 boy...i love them all so much
Vix72 mauiblue
Posted
mauiblue Vix72
Posted
Just focus on your kiddos, and you will slowly get better. Your GP and OBGYN sound like they are switched on to your care.
My boys are 12&15. But I see everything and are supportive but also confused.
I'm their rock, their only parent.
We will prevail..promise. really.
Anxiety is impossible to manage..just step out if your mind and observe that person who is going through this.
It's not 'you'. Go straight through the fear and look at the situation as an observer and know that it's is passing...just passing..slowly but certainly.
Xoxo
mauiblue
Posted
Meant to say " they see everything"
Vix72 mauiblue
Posted
hi again,
yes, my children family and friends all know what is happening in my world. i am unable to hide it and openly ask for help and support. My boys have at different times in their lives experienced anxiety and they both understand and see my pain. i am blessed with family and friends ans community that is open, honest, supportive. this is much bigger than just me. My friends are 'holding' me right now, both figuratively and in reality. Just today a wise girlfriend called in an i just sank into her and she hugged me and rocked me for an hour or more full of compassion .The understanding and empathy i receive is on here from all of you experiencing similar situations. it is here that i feel understood....
You are a blessing Mauiblue...
Deepest gratitude to you
Vix72
Posted
my biggest issue to date seems to be psychological. Its like I've been mind snatched
mauiblue Vix72
Posted
Well thank you Vix,
I hope to help you with my sincere advice and positive energy.
Thank you.
I will not say that im envious of all the great support you receive outside of the forum, because then that would take a way my whole premise for supporting you.I just wish i had support outside, family, you know..its so hard.
BUT...we are good, and plugging along. My 12 yr old has dealt with anxiety and even depression before i even fell into this trap. (mind you..ive not known what anxiety felt like until 8 months ago nor depression)..just the normal mood swing before the cycle.
So i can say that my dear son gets it. We are working through it and i insist on being the parent not the mom who needs help. I need help though
Your crawling ever so slowly out of this funk of life. Its really a mind/body snatch and its meant to be i guess..otherwise we would not be morphing into who we will be. Its like a morbid rite of passage if you will..
Ask for help, like you are.. ask for love like you are, and give it back..in return..like you do already.
XOXO
As the 'Cars' would say...".let the good times rollll"
Mauaiblue
Vix72 mauiblue
Posted
Mauiblue,
I believe we are all so lucky to have each other during this time.... here is a story for you
I was walking my dogs today and going into unhealthy thought processors when a lady about 70 asked me if we could take the dogs to the beach ( I live near the beach and walk there most days when i can, the sleeping pills have me tired, the anxiety freaks me out and the depression seems to too but I do make sure I walk every day even if just for an hour, I'm not working so its the only out of the house and head time I have), I have sunk so far into this i feel at times there is no way out...
...anyway, so this lady asks me about the dogs and i say 'no we can't', then we chat for a minute or two and i suggest she walk around the track ( its a 45 minute loop) i start to show it to her but then say, 'how about I walk with you?'. she agrees and off we go, before too long we are REALLY talking and i'm telling her my journey with anxiety and sleeping pills etc and the peri menopause factor and EVERYTHING and crying and she puts her arm around me and tells me all about her own journey with anxiety and sleeping pills etc and her therapy options and how she stopped reading and watching movies etc all to try to protect herself, just like I have .....Oh it was just good to talk to her. SOOOOOO GOOD!
I'm not a big believer in fate or anything but i really think i was meant to meet her today and talk to her. I've also found another lady in New Zealand that i email with daily and she is FANTASTIC!!! these are strong older women who have had their own journeys, while they aren't exactly the same as mine/ours they are in fact similar but more than that there is empathy and understanding and FAITH that I/we can and will get through this .....somehow and i say that openly. I feel at times like I'm in quick sand and i cant get out. these ladies and YOU Mauiblue have happened me and just the right time. the lady today particularly so, and there was also another lady that approached us, maybe 80 who called my dogs 'angels' and a friend called me on the weekend a scientist who doesn't believe in such stuff that said he JUST KNEW that I would get through this - that he KNEW there were angels looking after me.....
So, even though I've not ever felt like i believe in such stuff i think maybe I should... perhaps a bit philsophical but heck, what ever gets us through, sleeping pills, AD, a wine or 2 ( i don't drink) work, volunteering, house bound, WHATEVER....huh?!
Mauiblue, THANKYOU
Vix72 mauiblue
Posted
Can you keep emailing me? you feel like a little life line....
mauiblue Vix72
Posted
Michelle and Lelawreck
thank you ladies for supporting us, and Lela ithink its great that you are doing the hrt.
Try it and see how you do with it. The anxiety gets to be a bit much.
Im taking the hormones-bioidentical- progesterone alone as it is sooo low.
Ive made very slow but steady improvement..Im talking slow...but i plan on staying on them for life if i can.
Our transition is to massive to be dinkering around with the what ifs or buts. We need to help ourselves as safely ad efficiently as possible. No shame, no stigma, no judging..just do what one has to do, and in the meantime share and support and give insight to others.
I dont know how i get up most days, and still get through the day.
So a good way to look at this for me is this:
At the end of the day, ive made it, and so everyday is a win. So far I have a 100% track record because im making it through each day and improving..thats a good track record, and so do you all.
Vix
you see how people are surrounding you with support in your world? You would not have had this had you not been through what you are going through. You wouldnt have met the older women who are guiding you and helping your through.
Life works like this and presents itself in very challenging packages..
Every day is tough, but ive had some normal days and so im hopeful. I do what it takes and keep going. Might as well. I just wish my boys and i had family and support in our community here. its just is, so i guess that will make me all that stronger.
Good night ladies
much love
Vix72 mauiblue
Posted
How are you going?
i have felt strangely ok these past 2 days, im coming up to ovulation so maybe that is a sweet spot for me...other than being a bit angry and frustrated yesterday.....