Menopause, please go away, its been 8 years now, I want my life back.

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I'm 52 and had a hysterectomy in 2013, the doctor left my ovaries intact, he said by removing them it could throw me into full blown menopause. With that being said I've been suffering since 2010; the last 3 years has been torture. This last year, the absolute worse. I wake up every morning with the 66++++ symptoms. My blood work always comes back normal. Going through menopause is debilitating. I don't sleep, severe night sweats, severe hot flashes, which will then send me to the bathroom where I have diarrhea every morning for an hour or so. I work two jobs and I'm exhausted 24-7, therefore, on the weekends I try to rest hoping by Monday I will feel rejuvenated, but it never happens. I often call out sick, go home sick, go home with my office clothes soaked due to excessive sweating. I often make up stupid excuses with work because menopause is something that a lot of women don't discuss. I suffer most with physical side affects and anxiety followed by panic attacks. To live like this daily is true torture. I try to stay positive but its not easy, especially when your in pain. My joints hurt daily, my back is killing by 3:00pm, headaches, migraines, nausea, sleep deprived, chest pain, dizziness, heart beating fast, in the bathroom 24-7, and completely wiped out. I'm ready for bed by 7:30, and/or will make myself go to bed early knowing when 2:00am comes around, I'll be awaken with hot flashes/night sweats and then running to the bathroom; followed by anxiety and panic attacks. Then I begin to pray, please god, let me see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sad to say, and I would never hurt myself because I truly love life but I moments when I start thinking, I'd rather die then to go through this daily. I refuse to have hormone treatment, and do my best with home remedies. Its rare that I have a good day, I find myself begging in head, "please, just let me get through this before menopause ruins my life completely." My life is literally on hold until I get through this. Menopause is a daily feeling of constant fear too, because you really do feel like you're slowly dying, well I do anyway. I hope the worse is soon coming to a end. More women need to start talking about this and I think it should be discussed in the work place, doctors and therapists should be highly educated when it comes to menopause. I've seen women diagnosed for mental conditions and then be prescribed multiple medications they don't need, the list can go on and on. I recently had a therapist say thank you to me for sharing my story. He said he talks to patients my age who are suffering from the side effects of menopause and his patients don't don't know this nor did he ever give it much thought. He took it upon himself to read this forum and now has implemented menopause during his sessions with patients. We're not alone ladies, and were here to support each other and let our voices be heard. We will beat this!!!! twisted

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11 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Theresa! First off bravo to you! and you are NOT alone, we are NOT alone and thank you for sharing..I am 49 and have been in menopause since 2012 so 6 years..i have to say this last year has been terrible for me too. I have always been anxious but the intensity has increased, mood swings, hot flashes, heart palps,  allergies are a new thing for me and are painful, I always had menstrual migraines and still do like clockwork. I dont feel like myself..i feel like i lost myself....im either worrying, sick, moody, or sweating! ha! I honestly didnt even think what i have been feeling this last year could be menopausal or hormonal and it just kinda hit me the other day..i kept racking my brain like why am i like this what is wrong with me? and i was like damn! I bet its a new phase of meno and hopefully like a big pimple everything is coming to a head and when it pops we will feel normal again....I am researching holistic and menopause specialist in my are, wish i did this long ago, and going to make an appt to see someone soon. Apparently alot of this meno has to do with our gut too..so many things they dont know. I wish you luck! i will keep you posted...
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  • Posted

    hi theresa,

    I'm so sorry you are having such a difficult time. we are all coping the best we can with this but there are days you just want to be free of it no matter the cost. I dont have all of the 66+ symptoms and for that I am grateful, because the ones i do have are bad enough. i have really good days where i have no symptoms at all and then bad days where everything hits at once. i dont have anxiety or panic anymore because I've learned to control it. it sounds like your stomach upset Is due to the anxiety. that is what happened to me right before an anxiety attack. hang In there, we all in this together?

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  • Posted

    Hi Theresa - I feel your pain, this just doesn’t seem quite fair that some of us have to suffer the way we do - I just received some bad news about a relative & just hearing that news spiraled my health anxiety out-of-control.  Sometimes, I don’t know what is causing all my symptoms, menopause, anxiety,  blood sugar fluctuations  or what - I am really tired of figuring it all out also.  Does anybody also suffer from “brain fog” that feels like your brain is just foggy? Also, I get a vascular feeling all over my face, mainly nose lip area when I flush - Ugh! Drives me crazy! 

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    • Posted

      Yes Debra! Brain fog is my most scariest symptom along with the depression & anxiety which I never had before I went into this hell! Just started on hrt which I am hoping brings relieve sooner rather than later. Hugs & best wishes x

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    • Posted

      Hi Victoria - Oh, I hate to say this, but I am glad I am not alone in the “Brain Fog” arena.  It’s quite frightening to have all the physical symptoms,  but then when your brain feels like some alien sucked it out it’s beyond scary.  Something else that I noticed about myself that I never had before & I guess it’s part of the anxiety thing, but I have become ultra sensitive to everything...I feel like I have developed an extremely sensitive emotion to all things “negative” - I suppose this is just part of the whole anxiety thing - I want my old life back! 

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    • Posted

      I have doctor anxiety now, it goes through the roof when I go which increases the brain fog massively! Felt like I was on another planet today, very weird & very scary.

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  • Posted

    Reading this brought me to tears. So sorry you have been going though such an awful time. I totally agree that this should be discussed more openly at work. I have been off work sick & I am so lucky that the company I work for have been fantastic with me. I have been very open with them regarding my menopausal symptoms & they are going to make my return to work as easy as possible for me. I need to return, been driving me slowly mad being at home, too much time to think & Google symptoms! Sending you hugs & prayers xx

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  • Posted

    Hi theresa...thanks for the post as i so get it and you aint alone...its an absolute nitemare. .because there is so much you feel is wrong with you, you convince yourself there is something more sinister going on...also ive been thinking lately how much our bodies hold us back as when in full health, we dont realise it.....but we will and are getting to the othet side...im still struggling with tummy, Neasuea headaches aches and pains all over my body but i keep looking up as ive no other choice....hang in there girl....when you are through with this...you will take on the world. Lots of love to you there and keep checking in when you hit that wall....x CK
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  • Posted

    Thank you!! I'm going on 2 years with this and I feel exactly like you!! It's awful and it feels like it will never end. I'm sorry you are going thru this but it feels good to know I'm not alone!!

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