Menopause, please go away, its been 8 years now, I want my life back.

I'm 52 and had a hysterectomy in 2013, the doctor left my ovaries intact, he said by removing them it could throw me into full blown menopause. With that being said I've been suffering since 2010; the last 3 years has been torture. This last year, the absolute worse. I wake up every morning with the 66++++ symptoms. My blood work always comes back normal. Going through menopause is debilitating. I don't sleep, severe night sweats, severe hot flashes, which will then send me to the bathroom where I have diarrhea every morning for an hour or so. I work two jobs and I'm exhausted 24-7, therefore, on the weekends I try to rest hoping by Monday I will feel rejuvenated, but it never happens. I often call out sick, go home sick, go home with my office clothes soaked due to excessive sweating. I often make up stupid excuses with work because menopause is something that a lot of women don't discuss. I suffer most with physical side affects and anxiety followed by panic attacks. To live like this daily is true torture. I try to stay positive but its not easy, especially when your in pain. My joints hurt daily, my back is killing by 3:00pm, headaches, migraines, nausea, sleep deprived, chest pain, dizziness, heart beating fast, in the bathroom 24-7, and completely wiped out. I'm ready for bed by 7:30, and/or will make myself go to bed early knowing when 2:00am comes around, I'll be awaken with hot flashes/night sweats and then running to the bathroom; followed by anxiety and panic attacks. Then I begin to pray, please god, let me see the light at the end of the tunnel. Sad to say, and I would never hurt myself because I truly love life but I moments when I start thinking, I'd rather die then to go through this daily. I refuse to have hormone treatment, and do my best with home remedies. Its rare that I have a good day, I find myself begging in head, "please, just let me get through this before menopause ruins my life completely." My life is literally on hold until I get through this. Menopause is a daily feeling of constant fear too, because you really do feel like you're slowly dying, well I do anyway. I hope the worse is soon coming to a end. More women need to start talking about this and I think it should be discussed in the work place, doctors and therapists should be highly educated when it comes to menopause. I've seen women diagnosed for mental conditions and then be prescribed multiple medications they don't need, the list can go on and on. I recently had a therapist say thank you to me for sharing my story. He said he talks to patients my age who are suffering from the side effects of menopause and his patients don't don't know this nor did he ever give it much thought. He took it upon himself to read this forum and now has implemented menopause during his sessions with patients. We're not alone ladies, and were here to support each other and let our voices be heard. We will beat this!!!! 

8 likes, 11 replies