Mental breakdown? OCD? Depression? Please, please help me :(
Posted , 4 users are following.
Hi everyone
Firstly, I really would appreciate no scary comments, I just really need some kind words at the moment 
I am a 17 year old girl, who has been agoraphobic for about a year, recently I have started to gradually go out again, for example, I could not even walk up the road before but suddenly (I have noidea how!!), a couple of days ago I walked to our local shop?!? I did that twice in a day - once with my mum and sister and then just with my sister (I usually can never go out without my mum). This was a huge breakthrough but the day after, I felt completely depressed, my OCD thoughts were going mad - "I am going to go crazy" "I am going to lose control" and these have been accompanie by extreme fears of being posessed or my fear of losing complete control and hurting others or killing myself. I have had lows before but I cant even describe how bad this feels... permanent feeling of doom, insanity... Please help me??
1 like, 6 replies
Needhelp_asap Tisdale
Posted
Hey, have you received therapy for your agoraphobia? If not I think that's a big mistake and you should start in order to find the root of all these horrible feelings. I used to have that with my mum, I wouldn't feel safe going out unless it was with my mum, even then id get panic attacks but it was fine as long as I was with my mum. I had a progress on that and can now go out sometimes with friends and try to control my crazy thoughts "you're not safe with them, something might happen to you". My point is, you're not going crazy,don't worry I've been through that and you're definitely not alone!
Tisdale Needhelp_asap
Posted
Hi there. Thank you for your reply, I have been in the mental health system for years now (about a decade). I feel like I am a waste of time to them, I am at the awkward age of 17, where it is complex because I am about to enter adult services. I feel I pushed myself a little too far and it has got on top of me. Thank you so much for your understanding and I wish you a very Happy New Year
jake09 Tisdale
Posted
Hey Tisdale,
First of all, no you're definitely not alone! My parents were out of town on a vacation and I had the house to myself. I had never had any feelings of severe anxiety in my life so I was excited for them to go and I could have the house to myself to play video games or whatever. But then I started to feel VERY lonely. I then started having panic attacks because I felt forever alone. I had the shakes, the feelings of dread/doom. And the scariest of all was that I was never going to snap out of it and I was going to do something bad to myself. Those are the worst thoughts.
Second of all, give yourself some credit for going out to the store!! That must have taken a lot of courage and you should feel great about that.
You'll snap out of it! There are definelty highs and lows to all of this. Some days the thoughts aren't very loud. Other days, they're screaming in your ear. But you have to remember, they're just thoughts! There's hardly anything that you can do to stop them, but listening to them and letting them effect your quality of life are another thing. Stay mentally strong! We're here with you and fighting the fight together.
Tisdale jake09
Posted
Thank so much for your understanding Jake!!
I am so sorry to hear of your awful experience of being home alone, that must have been really dissapointing but terrifying
Those intrusive thoughts really are the worst and they become so intense and feel so real.
I really, really appreciate your kind words. It can be seriously tough but I know this will get better (hopefully soon!)
Thank you,
Tisdale
cycad Tisdale
Posted
Hello Tisdäle.
I just wanted to say good on you for mäking a breakthrough, that's huge! and keep building on those inner victories. You'll get through it eventually, you'll see. All the best.
Tisdale cycad
Posted
Hi Cycad,
Thank you so much for your kind words!! They are greatly appreciated at this time
Tisdale