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Hello everyone. I've been dealing with panic disorder for a bit now and I've managed to almost get through it except there's one thing that's been stopping me from doing so. I hope this post isn't too long.
Basically I've always had anxiety for as long as I remember and always been a bit of a hypochondriac. Around 2 months ago I had a bad panic attack with horrible physical symptoms (shortness of breath, numbness in body, shaking, etc.). This led to me having a fear of having another panic attack, which in turn resulted in constant anxiety and even more panic attacks. Throughout this time I went through bouts of depression and physical/mental exhaustion. Eventually I learned breathing techniques that stopped the physical symptoms I would get when I had a panic attack, which helped immensely. The problem was that although the attacks weren't as severe, I would still get this shot of adrenaline throughout my body and intense fear which made me feel like I was losing control or going crazy. So I decided to search up these "feelings of going crazy" which wasn't the best idea..
This is where my main problem lies. I started reading symptoms of mental illnesses like psychosis, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder along with people's first person experience with these diseases which just fueled my anxieties. If anything the only reason I was having panic attacks at this point was because I was reading so much about all these things. It also didn't help that I was going through some bad derealization.
Fast forward to now and I'm doing a bit better but I just can't shake this constant worry of going crazy or having a sudden psychotic break. I know people say if you think you're going crazy you probably aren't but I did read stories where some people were aware of what was happening to them but I'm also afraid of going crazy and not noticing. I don't have any psychotic symptoms but I have been feeling "off" ever since I started reading about all this.
The only reassurance I have is that I don't have a family history of mental illnesses and I figured that since this has been the most stressful time in my life and I've been managing it alright with no psychotic symptoms that I'll probably be fine but I just can't help but worry.
I know this probably all sounds stupid and I apologize for the long post but I was just wondering if anybody else has had similar worries and if they have any techniques on how they handled them.
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