Mental maddness
Posted , 11 users are following.
Hi ladies, I am 50 years old and have been going through peri for a few years now. I have had so many physical symptoms. But lately I have been hit very hard mentally. My mental state is getting worse. I cannot tolerate my husband. I get aggressive, intolerant, angry . We have a 10 year old daughter. She is very happy and bubbly girl but she is getting very sensitive and effective by it all. I sometimes feel like walking out!!! Heeelp has anyone else go through this kind of mad phase and what do you do? How do you cope please???
1 like, 16 replies
laura26665 ImagineOneDay
Posted
So sorry you are going through this. I was having massive mood swings, so my doctor put me on Venlafaxine; for the hot flashes as well. Has worked like a charm.
kelly55079 ImagineOneDay
Posted
Yes... I have. I had a tough time over the summer with kids being home (teens coming and going) and hubby's attitude. Went to marriage counseling twice and then he refused to go anymore. This was so hard for me -- I was extremely hurt.. I also had to deal with these heavy periods among other things. I had a couple 'meltdowns'-- talked with a therapist, friends even told my sister. I have 'mellowed' out some TRYING to focus on me and the kids. There are times that I can't stand him really but I have to take a deep breath and take one day at a time. Today, he was home and I just felt 'empty' inside-- I have no idea if this is anxiety or what. PM me anytime, I know it can be tough. Sometimes I feel it's me (hormones) BUT then other times I feel we are disconnected and that's why I feel crazy..
ImagineOneDay kelly55079
Posted
Oh wow, just like me. My husband was working from home yesterday and he was not feeling well. Tell you what I HATED it. I just do not like having him around so miserable..... Thank you Kelly. Sending you LOTS OF LOVE and hugs. xxx
dev77856 ImagineOneDay
Posted
hate to be the bearrer of bad news but menopaise is worse . i am telling you this cause n ody else told me .... if u can grt on hormones like bioidentical or something . i wish somronr told me to donit and now its too late for me. all the terrible symptoms more an more it just eont stop for 5 years til its over and tou havent even started yet
ImagineOneDay dev77856
Posted
Oh great news then , thank you. Well I cannot use any hormons due to health concerns so I am stuck with these horrible nightmare as long as it ruins me and my relationship around me
dev77856 ImagineOneDay
Posted
there are many natural products u can use like MaCa . I’m telling you this to save you from the pain that I put my family through if someone had told me this before don’t give up and look into safe alternatives
ImagineOneDay dev77856
Posted
Thank you!
christine-Perim ImagineOneDay
Edited
you can control it. i whisper to myself all the time 'BE NICE'
i have to remember that perimenopause is like constant PMS. come here to vent. but men and kids dont understand.
on the rare good days I shop, clean, go for a run, cook a nice meal, laundry, etc.....
on my bad days which is about 18 days out of the month, i take my herbs and vitamins, go walking, do easy meals(trader joes) watch funny shows (MOM), read this forum 😃
i hope this helps. ❤❤❤
Beverlys1 ImagineOneDay
Edited
HI GIRL,, Just want to say I know how you feel,, I loose my s--- sometimes and I am not proud of it,, people around me don't understand or really care unfortunatly maybe because they are sick of it and I don't blame them,,so am I,, I think I will try to use some of Christine advice,, but I cant do bio identicals...I still trying to figure out how to cope right now like you, going to try a depression medication I think... I FEEL YOUR PAIN...HUGSxxx
ImagineOneDay Beverlys1
Edited
Thank you. HUGS back!
bev27429 ImagineOneDay
Edited
The mental stuff is super tough to cope with. I am in late-stage perimenopause, age 51, and my anger bursts, irritation, and the intense desire to scream have all been escalating in the past several months. My mood can shift radically, in exactly the direction that I don't want it to go, and it can do so without warning. I feel like I am possessed by some demon sometimes! No joke.
No matter how much anger I have inside me, I force myself not to take it out on my loved ones, and I have been successful with this so far. I know when my emotions are starting to get out of control, that I need to release them somehow, and so I will scream and yell in my car, or when I am out on my bike or on a run, and it does help to take things down a notch or two.
I have also been very candid with my boyfriend, my mother, and my close friends. I am lucky to have a great support system, and when I get highly agitated in front of those I love, they understand, and they do everything that they can to help me, and they reassure me that it will get better.
It comes and goes, and I weather it in any way that I can.
My best advice would be to share your feelings with those closest to you to help them understand and to allow you to get the best support that you can.
Just know that many women are living through these challenges right along with you. It is a phase, a horrible one, but things will settle one day, and then it will all be in the rear view mirror:)
ImagineOneDay bev27429
Edited
Thank you so much. The problem is I cannot control it like you do and I hurt the people I love must around me. Plus my anger seems to be all about them and towards them. It feels like they are the cause of my frustration. To be honest I feel THEY DO NOT UNDERSTAND ME despite me talking , sharing, explaining. My 10 year old daughter seems to understand more than my 55 year old husband who has been with me for 25 years!
Indifferent ImagineOneDay
Edited
ohhh, I well remember that stage of this game! I had a serious hate on for my husband. Everything I had swept under the carpet for all those years before had to be brought out and talked about. It was HARD, but in the end it changed us for the better.
we were both committed to our marriage thankfully, and these days it is better than ever between us.
During that time I had to take frequent trips (visiting family, getting away from him) so I didnt just kill him, lol.
Peri is a time for setting many things right in your life. I totally ditched the inlaws. they were a major cause of friction in our marriage. I was no longer willing to put up with playing second fiddle to his mother. And his sister is just a nasty person.
Best thing I ever did was simply walk away from them, no explanations, just never went back.
ImagineOneDay Indifferent
Edited
Well done. Excellent. I am moving away and avoiding many people that I used to put up with in the past. I feel good and right too
kelly55079 Indifferent
Edited
Yes to all the things that I swept under the rug saying ohh it's nothing, I can deal with it.. Well now, I don't want any part of it.. ha ha
Indifferent ImagineOneDay
Edited
Thankfully I only have 2 that I felt I needed to do this with. I love people, but those two, over many years just beat me down over and over, and managed to make me worthless to my husband until he finally after many years saw it!
Thank goodness he did because I was more than ready to leave him to escape them.