messed up cortisol?
Posted , 10 users are following.
these symptoms have been going on for 3 months and i am baffled as to what is wrong. please read all of these, please. and please give any informative advice if you have any. first off i want to say i am a 17 year old male, who was very healthy before all this. feel free to read my last couple posts and give some insight, it would mean a lot. okay here it is:
When I think about the weekend and having time off it makes me feel super stressed and feel absolutely horrible. I get derealization and brainfog so bad. It makes me feel so bad I can’t describe it. All Friday I felt super out of it and didn’t want to talk to anybody and I couldn’t get out of it. It’s the worst feeling ever. I need to get out of this and get my life, energy, mental clarity, and want to do things back. And most importantly feel myself. Have twitches at random body parts Still have vibration feeling in liver area, I think it’s just a weird symptom of the EBV. Someone’s my body feels “light” whenever i feel really bad and have bad brain fog. Legs never stop twitching. All day at baseball Friday was horrible I felt like a zombie and didn’t want to do anything and I felt soooo out of it and tired and I was trying to do well at practice and I couldn’t because of what’s going on and this is not allowing me to enjoy my senior year and season. I just want this to go away. It’s the worst feeling ever. When this happens I Don’t want to hangout with anyone or talk or workout or even want to EAT or do anything. It’s the worst feeling ever and i feel like I’m not myself at all and I just don’t feel right. It’s like I have NO ABILITY to push past how I’m feeling because I feel so bad. Especially when I have brainfog from feeling like this. I felt extremely out of it after baseball on Friday it’s like I wasn’t even there. Any bit of stress that I wouldn’t even notice before this feels like death. * I learned derealization happens when the brain is trying to protect you from too much stress, and this happens pretty much every day. There is no reason for my brain to be feeling this much stress. I wouldn’t even notice stress before all of this. Realized whenever I have any stress or obstacle with how I’m feeling it’s like I cannot do anything and I just feel awful and overwhelmed.i just cannot push past it no matter what. For example whenever I feel bad like this and have brain fog and derealization I have no want to go anywhere or do anything and it’s the worst feeling ever and that’s not like me at all. It makes me feel trapped even though I’m not anxious. It’s like I cannot feel better or push past it or grit through it no matter how hard I try because it feels so bad. And when my mom tells me it’s just anxiety and all that and fusses at me it makes me i feel indescribably bad because this is not anxiety and I need to know what is wrong. It happens at different and random times of the day and i can last for days to weeks. It makes me sooooooo tired most of the day and just want to sleep. It’s torture. I literally get purple bags under my eyes. Any stress feels absolutely impossible to handle which is not normal feeling and I can’t go without texting my parents how I feel no matter what. I have derealization and brain fog and “not feeling right” so much for no reason at all. It’s like my brain is detecting stress that isn’t there. It’s the worst feeling ever and I just completely shut down because “I don’t feel right” for what seems like no reason and it’s horrible. Scared I already have derealization/depersonalization disorder or will get it soon because it so often and I’m beyond scared because i CANNOT live life like this. Can’t get through the day without texting my parents non stop because I cannot handle how I’m feeling. Every time I have to go do something it makes me feel absolutely horrible I can’t even explain it. I hate this so much. Am absolutely terrified I’m stuck like this because I messed my hormones or something up because I took sarms while having mono and I feel so guilty and regret it so much and am so scared I won’t be able to be the same ever again. It’s horrifying. Feel so completely overwhelmed by how I’m feeling I just break down sometimes and that’s not like me at all. It’s the worst feeling ever and it takes everything I have just to do nothing because I don’t feel right and just can’t push past how I’m feeling no matter what. I have a super hard time getting up in the morning. Sometimes I’ll stay in bed on the weekends for 2-3 hours before forcing myself to get up. Feel super out of it and like I’m in a dream. When I feel any stress or have to use any mental strength to do something, I get horrible brain fog and feel like I’m not even there. When my mom tells me to go do things and engage in things around me it makes it so bad because I have been forcing myself to do that for so long and it’s horrible I NEED to know what is wrong. I cry so much because It feels so bad and I cannot handle any stress and it makes me indescribably overwhelmed. That is not like me at all. It awful. I hate going places and doing things now and I get so much anxiety about it because everything feels fake and I’m always confused and everything is torture and when my mom fussed at me for not doing something it makes me cry. It takes so much out of me to do anything because the brain fog and derealization is so bad sometimes and it makes me super irritated and seem rude. School and baseball is also super hard because of it. Read adrenal fatigue can be caused by high stress and I have definitely had way more than high stress the last 3 months. Don’t even want to play xbox I just don’t feel right and no matter how hard I try to cope with it I can’t it makes me feel so bad. I can’t even just sit down and get my mind on other things something is wrong. When my mom tries to tell me about what is going on and how I should push through it and cope and all that the overwhelmingness I feel is INDESCRIBABLE. It’s the worst feeling ever I can’t even put into into words. I feel so trapped. When she tells me to get a hold of myself and the only way I can recover is keep pushing it makes me feel beyond stressed and not right because I have been doing this for so long and nothing seems right and I don’t even know anymore it’s so bad If I didn’t have school or other things I know for a fact I would just sit at home all day because I have absolutely no want to do anything and feel so bad. Everything that should be fun is torture to go through because I feel so out of it and bad. Every time my mom tells me something or fusses at me about it being anxiety or EBV and PANS or whatever I just cannot believe it at all because I’ve been believing it’s a million other things because she tells me it’s anxiety or dehydration or me not pushing through it, etc. and that gives me anxiety because I feel extremely horrible and have to run out the room and cry because I just can’t believe it and feel trapped like this. SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT AND IVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR EVERYTHING MY PARENTS HAVE TOLD I HAVE OVER THE LAST THREE MONTHS. I HAVE to get to the bottom of this and recover. I have been going through this hell for too long. My theory is that taking the prednisone and sarms, while also dealing with all these stuff from the EBV caused bad adrenal fatigue to go along with messed up cortisol levels. I feel sooooo out of it at the worst times. On Saturday I had a baseball game fundraiser thing that lasted like 8 hours and then I forced myself to go hangout with friends and the next day I was full of derealization and brainfog. The derealization has never been so bad. The sun looked fake. Cars were driving by and I felt like I was watching a movie. Even the words I type seem weird and fake. It has never been this bad for so long. Sitting in my room my body doesn’t even feel like my own. It’s like my brain is detecting traumatic events for minor things. I am just absolutely horrified that it will get used to this and I will get Derealization/ depersonalization disorder. The thought of that makes me want to throw up. There is no way I can live like this and I need to be able to fix it. It’s like my brain is detecting minor things as TRAUMATIC events and no matter what I do I cannot cope at all. It’s the worst feeling ever. It makes me want to throw up. I can’t even sit down and do nothing. My body feels really light. Cannot cope with how bad I feel no matter what it makes me just want to sleep all the time. I just don’t feel right at all I don’t even know how to describe it. I can’t relax without feeling better and I can’t relax without knowing I can cure this and what I can do to cure it. I take B12, vitamin C, Lexapro, multivitamin, and probiotics. I eat nothing but healthy foods. I’ve tried literally everything and Its so hard to keep going through this something is not right it’s the worst feeling ever I took prednisone for about a week while I had really bad mono and also took SARM’s, both being steroids. I read overuse of steroids can cause Cushing’s Syndrome, and or mess up with cortisol levels. my only explanation to what is going on is that there is something wrong with my adrenal glands and cortisol, I can’t think of anything else. I have been thinking it’s other things for so long because I’m trying to be open minded but this is not anxiety or EBV there is no way.
2 likes, 28 replies
vancityraincity yyy1000
Posted
I am sorry you’re going through it. It sounds awful. It seems like you are very overwhelmed, and scared. And it’s understandable why. Have you considered seeing a counsellor or psychologist? There is nothing wrong with getting help, if you need it. This might be EBV, or you might be experiencing an imbalance of some sorts mentally. It doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you... but if that is the case, it may be difficult to enjoy things again without a little help.. at first. It doesn’t mean it’s forever. But maybe right now you need something to help with the anxiety or “depersonalization” as you put it. At the end of the day the forum can help you with support and having an outlet to vent and people to respond to you and reassure you. We all hope this passes soon, as it most likely will. But until then, please listen to your heart and mind if you need extra support from a doctor. Things will be okay. To me, this sounds like terrible anxiety. Just by how much you wrote and how frantic your writing seems (or at least that’s how it reads to me).
Things will be okay. Please keep reaching out here, but also listen to what your mind and body needs and seek help from a doctor if things continue to be so overwhelming.
Hugs.
vancityraincity yyy1000
Posted
Mono_too yyy1000
Posted
Unfortunately. this sounds like the weird anxiety/brainfog that goes long with mono, I know it is hard to deal with, I had it for months. I had never had a feeling like it in my life and I am 55, I know how scary it feels, you will get over it though, this can rake a very long time.
They can give you a cortisol test, they were about to schedule one for me when I started feeling better.
craig07920 yyy1000
Posted
Hi yyy,
Really feeling your pain coming through from the message, just want you to know I'm thinking about you and understand how you feel.
If there's anything I really want to say is that what you are experiencing is not at all uncommon for the virus, it's very common indeed to affect you in all the ways you say physically and mentally.
Physically, it really is the kind of the virus that needs rest so don't beat yourself up at all about not being able to push through....it totally drains you and the best thing you can do is rest when you can, a key mistake people make is to try and push on and it doesn't respond well doing that sadly - rest is really key.
Mentally...the worry, anxiety, depression and stress is all awful and want you to know that this will pass over. It's hard to accept the virus I know, something that helped me was (after much struggling myself) getting to a stage where I realised 'okay this is going on for a while and I'm not okay today, but I will be okay again' - because you really will be. It's just so frustrating that the virus can take a number of months for people to recover from, but really after 3 months this is all a normal course and it is very likely to be just the virus and nothing else (I know it's so easy to worry about other things, everyone does it and try if you can to keep on forums like this rather than the general net where there are so many scare stories).
I just really want to reassure that I went through all the same kind of symptoms and emotional struggles when going through it, I thought I would never get there but 3-4 months the intensity did start to lessen a bit - you won't have to go through anything like the first 3 months again, it's BY FAR the worst and remember not to panic if recovery doesn't come right away from here on in, it still took me a while but I did get there and YOU WILL TOO, 100% I believe you are going to get better from this - I haven't read anything in your post that strikes me as unusual for the the virus or that there is anything at all else to worry about.
Key thing is just to look after yourself right now, talk to people you trust about how you feel, try not to be so hard on yourself and do something each day that helps you relax or that you enjoy - you've had such a tough time you deserve that - even if it's watching a fav tv show, reading, listening to music, meeting a friend, just something to distract for a while each day is good, as well as rest of course.
As Van and Mono said, for sure might be worth considering something like counselling or therapy - it really can help and I wish I had done something like that at the time of the virus, and considering it now for other reasons in my life. There is nothing to worry about in terms of doing that and it's good to have someone to talk to.
Remember this WILL pass, I know it's a nightmare right now and it doesn't help whilst going through it - but there IS an end to this and you are young and will be back to full health again - lots of things in your favour for a full recovery here and I have no doubts in my mind that is going to happen, given a bit of time. Thinking about you and remember the forum is here for you to chat to folks.
Do consider maybe giving baseball and sports a rest for now, you need to put yourself and your health first right now and it's such a hard time to cope with I know as a young person, but remember you have lots to live for and things to look forward to - and just cope with getting through each day and not putting pressure on yourself - put yourself and your health first right now and you're doing the right things to help yourself by the sounds of it. Hang in there and remember you're going to be alright, you REALLY REALLY REALLY are - honestly (even though it might not feel that way now, you ARE).
Craig
Craig
yyy1000 craig07920
Posted
thank you for the thoughtful response Craig, but you see the thing is , I got mono in august. its now February and I have never felt this bad. it doesn't even feel like mono. I started to feel a little better about October, then November I started getting extreme anxiety and now that the anxiety has gone away, all these other symptoms and feelings have gotten worse. im baffled as to what is wrong. I went to the dr today and got blood taken and my results should be back tomorrow. I have to know what is wrong with me
40with.gf. yyy1000
Posted
Hi yyy,
i first went to the gp in November 2016!!! And told I had glandular fever on 5 Dec 2016! It didn't kick in til January 2017, that's when I was really bad, and my recovery has been a roller coaster. Good and bad days. No constant or consistent about it. Finally this January I've had my longest stretch of feeling good and being able to do so much more. It just takes ages to feel any sort of normal and to start getting better.
it will happen
Caroline x
brent_83487 yyy1000
Posted
40with.gf. brent_83487
Posted
Hi Brent,
how well are you doing now?! You are incredibly strong to go through mono a divorce and working, I'm not sure how you have done that.i certainly couldn't have. I'm sure the social life will come back, you will recover fully eventually
Caroline x
brent_83487 40with.gf.
Posted
40with.gf. brent_83487
Posted
Ah Brent,
At least you are going in the right direction, at least things are improving even though it's not quick, probably just down to the fact that you can't rest as much! Your doctor is right, it will go. The days will be behind you and long gone one day and you'll be in such a better place.
Caroline x
craig07920 brent_83487
Posted
Hey Brent,
It is good to hear from you, and I want to let you know that i agree totally with the doc when he says that it WILL clear in time. 8 months is such a long time it really is, it's a lifetime when dealing with such harshness, physical symptoms and depression every day. But remember post viral is different from CFS....it can take a loong time like this with the post viral after mono but the vast majority of people do get there, in no way does this mean you have CFS or you won't make a full recovery still. At 8 months I was feeling similar to you, like as though i'd been through 10 rounds with Mike Tyson physically and mentally just crushed and hopeless - but after 10 months things took a bit step forward in a short space of time, almost overnight - that can happen with the virus.
I think I said the story before but I read somewhere the virus is like something that changes shape....so if you imagine a normal cold virus for example is a square, your body makes antibodies for a square and then locks it out and nullifies it. With mono, the virus keeps changing shape, so if it was a square, your body makes antibodies for a square but by that time it's changed to a triangle, and the cycle goes on - BUT at some point down the line the virus trips itself up, changes back to one of its previous shapes, like a square again, but this time your body is already ready because you have those antibodies and then it locks and kicks it into touch for good - that is why I believe big improvement can happen in a very short space of time even after months and months of struggle and seemingly little hope or progress.
Thinking of you Brent and hang in there....just one day at a time still and remember there is hope today...lots of it....you ARE gonna get through this and back to FULL health again.
Craig
40with.gf. yyy1000
Posted
Hi yyy,
i completely understand about about all your worries and anxieties. Everyone I think suffers slightly different and symptoms vary from person to person.
please take hope and reassurance from all the replies from these lovely people on this forum, I found it really helped me. Just to know that you are not alone in how you are feeling and that it is actually very normal!
i got glandular fever when I turned 40 ( a nice birthday present!) my blood results actually said past infection, so who knows exactly what virus I got?!
My symptoms were fatigue, breathlessness,thirsty, achey arms, tingles all over, sensitivity to loud sharp noises, nausea and also I couldn't stop crying for no reason!! Funnily enough my gp said my cortisol was low so I was sent to be tested for Addison's disease, thankfully I was ok, every test I have been for I've been clear! Basically all you need is time....a lot of time to recover. Eat well, get a good sleep pattern, look after yourself, do as much as you can for your body to heal and in time it will. It's been roughly a year for me and now I'm seeing VAST improvement. I'm nearing normal!! It will happen for you too.....it really will, you just need time.
Caroline x
vancityraincity 40with.gf.
Posted
It was such a relief to see someone else with “past infection” results. I hate not having a definite “yup you’ve got mono” diagnosis, it messes with your head. But coming here and reading other people experiences puts me to ease, because my experience is so similar.
Yyy, I hope you have a better day today.
Take care everyone
40with.gf. vancityraincity
Posted
Hi van,
i know, it's strange the results said past infection, all they said that I had antibodies already trying to fight the infection. But I've never felt this way before in my whole life and I've never been this ill for so long, so it just must be glandular fever/mono. Every other test is clear and I'm slowly getting better! I'm glad that makes you feel better about it.x
lisa29739 yyy1000
Posted
Hey there. Man, reading this I can totally relate. The first 5 weeks I was sick and undiagnosed I had a period of exactly this feeling. I'd be taking a shower or reading something or driving or grocery shopping and then wham. Horrible disconnect would hit. My doc kept thinking I needed to go on anti anxiety meds (which I tried Lexapro but it made everything much worse) but it felt more physiological and not psychological. It would come out of nowhere. My husband actually talked me down from a panic attack that was caused by that disconnect. Or fake feeling like you describe. It was like I was in another plane of existence and I would never ever find my way home. It was the scariest part of this whole ordeal. I'm so sorry you are dealing with it.
Once I was diagnosed with Mono it started to slowly fade and it's been gone about 3 months now. I'm still sick- I still deal with fatigue so bad I have to stay in bed. Even though resting, tylenol, water, supplements, meditation, sleeping, nothing helps alleviate the horrible fatigue and general flu feeling. It's hard to sit with. But I've learned that every time I get stressed out, it makes things a million times worse. Your schedule sounds insane, school and baseball, with Mono. I could never do that. I'm just now getting to where I can do normal things like clean the house, grocery shop, make dinner, hang out low key with friends. But if I attempt much else it gets really bad.
As much as it sucks to stay home- are you able to take some time off and just really relax? As much as you can relax with Mono?
Also- it sounds like you need a good support system. Whether that's a better doctor that takes you seriously, a counselor or even a friend or relative that's gone through mono. It helps so much not feeling so isolated.
Hang in there. I found a free app on my phone called Headspace that helped a little when I felt that horrible disconnect. I'd lay flat on the ground and start it. It brought me back to myself.
craig07920 lisa29739
Posted
Hey Lisa, Caroline, Van,
Great advice, for sure yyy please know that everyone here is with you and believing you are gonna get there. I know I can relate to much of what you say, and that all of the other guys can too, and folks are still here to tell the story - so even though it may seem like a dark hour or time at the moment, remember there is light at the end of the tunnel....and if you can't see it right now then others who have been through the dark tunnel can see it for you and let you know it's there and that your life is gonna turn around SO much for the better again - and you will be a much stronger person for having gone through ths experience and be able to enjoy life again - might seem far away right now but those days will return, they really really really will yyy.
Craig
yyy1000 lisa29739
Posted
thanks for the response. but I got mono in AUGUST and its now February. I dont know what is wrong at all and I Wass feeling a lot better until November when anxiety started. I feel like absolute death, confusion , disconnect, derealization, no want to do ANYTHING (when I had mono I did)I just feel BAD. everything just seems irrelevant and I just dont feel right like something has to be seriously wrong. I need to get to the bottom of whats going on. every second is hell. my parents made me believe this was anxiety for too long and yelled at me about it when I knew deep down it wasn't. I dont even want to workout or fish or anything and those are my favorite things to do like I am so confused as to what is wrong
yyy1000 craig07920
Posted
thanks for the response. but I got mono in AUGUST and its now February. I dont know what is wrong at all and I Wass feeling a lot better until November when anxiety started. I feel like absolute death, confusion , disconnect, derealization, no want to do ANYTHING (when I had mono I did)I just feel BAD. everything just seems irrelevant and I just dont feel right like something has to be seriously wrong. I need to get to the bottom of whats going on. every second is hell. my parents made me believe this was anxiety for too long and yelled at me about it when I knew deep down it wasn't. I dont even want to workout or fish or anything and those are my favorite things to do like I am so confused as to what is wrong
yyy1000
Posted
craig07920 yyy1000
Posted
Hey yyy,
Hang in there man....you ARE gonna get through this. I took mono in October and it was August of the next year before I really started to make real progress in recovery, just want to reassure that this is normal and it's not you at all it's the way this virus goes - the effects and symptoms go on for this length of time for many unfortunately, but then IN NO WAY does that mean you are stuck this way, you will go on to make a complete recovery still. BY FAR the first 6 months you have been through is the worst, you won't have to deal with anything like that again, and things will get better - remember don't panic if it still takes a bit of time because that is normal but you will get there, you really truly will.
The anxiety and worry and stress it causes is so awful, so sorry you're feeling this way and it's only natural and very understandable given what you've been through. Remember to be kind to yourself, give yourself plenty of rest and time and if you can some distraction, do something to stress-free that takes your mind off it even for a while - so hard I know and easier said than done, but just remember you have lots of good and healthy and happy days ahead - I know it's hard to see that right now but remember there is hope today, God knows the bigger picture and you will be beat this yyy, but you don't need to do anything it's just a time factor and being kind to yourself and not beating yourself up - you haven't done anything wrong and it's not any issue with you - it's the illness that makes you feel this way and just take deep breaths when it feels overwhelming and remember this will all pass over.
Hang in there and remember the forum is great to keep in touch with as folks here know what it's like to go through this terrible virus - thinking of you and you WILL make a FULL recovery, I totally believe that in Jesus' name - He is the great healer and will heal you I really believe.
Just take it one day at a time....getting through each day when feeling this way is a great achievement and don't look too far ahead. Better days ARE ahead for sure!
Craig
Mono_too yyy1000
Posted
It is very hard for someone to understand unless they have had it. My granddaughter is your age and has been sick since last April and just told me last night that she had a couple of good days. Do not be discouraged you will recover form the anxiety, I was diagnosed in October 2016 and the anxiety did not kick in until late December, as a matter of fact I felt better at Thanksgiving and thought I have recovered. at that time I did not understand this at all. I remember telling Craig( a lifesaver) that I was sure it was something more as the feelings were so intense, I did recover and you will to just keep telling your self that it is the virus and this to shall pass.
yyy1000 Mono_too
Posted
okay thanks. i feel just completely unable to cope with how im feeling and i have no want to do anything because of the way i feel, i can barely just sit down and do nothing because i "dont feel right" . i have gone down on my lexapro 10mg because they made this worse.the feelings of OCD and derealization are absurd. my head feels weird and i feel so not right. sometimes i get these feelings that are so bad it feels like my soul is sick... i cant even describe it is just awful. its not even anxiety. i got mono and its now february so i need to know what is going on. life sucks right now and i just want to feel normal. my brain can never stop telling me how or what im feeling, seeing, or experiencing. this is hll on earth
yyy1000
Posted
i got mono in august and its now february and all this started in november right when i thought i was getting better. this is torture. i cant even get through a day of school without being in full blown derealization and brain fog and texting my mom constantly because i cannot handle this feeling of "i dont feel right" im starting to get really depressed and am desperate for help.
yyy1000
Posted
my docotor and my parents believe i have a sever case of "PANS" post mono. could you look into that and give me your opinion
40with.gf. yyy1000
Posted
Hi yyy,
ive had a little read up on pans as I didn't know what it was...it says children get it from about 3 -14 and can be treated with antibiotics. have you looked into it?! Did the doctor explain it to you??
Mono_too yyy1000
Posted
I know it is really hard to rest and just have to sit with these feelings. It will pass with time, it just takes a very long while to rid yourself of this. I thought I would never feel normal again and then the better days started,
craig07920 yyy1000
Posted
Hey yyy,
I've not heard of PANS but sounds like Caroline has a bit of advice on it there for you. I do want to reassure you that all these horrible symptoms will settle given time, it is an awful time you are going through right now but you WILL get through it. Just take each day as it comes, don't expect too much of yourself and try to do things that you enjoy that don't take a lot of energy out of you either - you deserve to be kind to yourself right now, and please do know that this kind of long period of recovery is normal although I know that doesn't help when feeling so horrible, and it is equally normal to then go on to make a full and complete recovery.
Thinking of you yyy and remember you're not on your own with this - you gonna get through it and ask God to help and He most definitely wlil.
Craig