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these symptoms have been going on for 3 months and i am baffled as to what is wrong. please read all of these, please. and please give any informative advice if you have any. first off i want to say i am a 17 year old male, who was very healthy before all this. feel free to read my last couple posts and give some insight, it would mean a lot. okay here it is:
When I think about the weekend and having time off it makes me feel super stressed and feel absolutely horrible. I get derealization and brainfog so bad. It makes me feel so bad I can’t describe it. All Friday I felt super out of it and didn’t want to talk to anybody and I couldn’t get out of it. It’s the worst feeling ever. I need to get out of this and get my life, energy, mental clarity, and want to do things back. And most importantly feel myself. Have twitches at random body parts Still have vibration feeling in liver area, I think it’s just a weird symptom of the EBV. Someone’s my body feels “light” whenever i feel really bad and have bad brain fog. Legs never stop twitching. All day at baseball Friday was horrible I felt like a zombie and didn’t want to do anything and I felt soooo out of it and tired and I was trying to do well at practice and I couldn’t because of what’s going on and this is not allowing me to enjoy my senior year and season. I just want this to go away. It’s the worst feeling ever. When this happens I Don’t want to hangout with anyone or talk or workout or even want to EAT or do anything. It’s the worst feeling ever and i feel like I’m not myself at all and I just don’t feel right. It’s like I have NO ABILITY to push past how I’m feeling because I feel so bad. Especially when I have brainfog from feeling like this. I felt extremely out of it after baseball on Friday it’s like I wasn’t even there. Any bit of stress that I wouldn’t even notice before this feels like death. * I learned derealization happens when the brain is trying to protect you from too much stress, and this happens pretty much every day. There is no reason for my brain to be feeling this much stress. I wouldn’t even notice stress before all of this. Realized whenever I have any stress or obstacle with how I’m feeling it’s like I cannot do anything and I just feel awful and overwhelmed.i just cannot push past it no matter what. For example whenever I feel bad like this and have brain fog and derealization I have no want to go anywhere or do anything and it’s the worst feeling ever and that’s not like me at all. It makes me feel trapped even though I’m not anxious. It’s like I cannot feel better or push past it or grit through it no matter how hard I try because it feels so bad. And when my mom tells me it’s just anxiety and all that and fusses at me it makes me i feel indescribably bad because this is not anxiety and I need to know what is wrong. It happens at different and random times of the day and i can last for days to weeks. It makes me sooooooo tired most of the day and just want to sleep. It’s torture. I literally get purple bags under my eyes. Any stress feels absolutely impossible to handle which is not normal feeling and I can’t go without texting my parents how I feel no matter what. I have derealization and brain fog and “not feeling right” so much for no reason at all. It’s like my brain is detecting stress that isn’t there. It’s the worst feeling ever and I just completely shut down because “I don’t feel right” for what seems like no reason and it’s horrible. Scared I already have derealization/depersonalization disorder or will get it soon because it so often and I’m beyond scared because i CANNOT live life like this. Can’t get through the day without texting my parents non stop because I cannot handle how I’m feeling. Every time I have to go do something it makes me feel absolutely horrible I can’t even explain it. I hate this so much. Am absolutely terrified I’m stuck like this because I messed my hormones or something up because I took sarms while having mono and I feel so guilty and regret it so much and am so scared I won’t be able to be the same ever again. It’s horrifying. Feel so completely overwhelmed by how I’m feeling I just break down sometimes and that’s not like me at all. It’s the worst feeling ever and it takes everything I have just to do nothing because I don’t feel right and just can’t push past how I’m feeling no matter what. I have a super hard time getting up in the morning. Sometimes I’ll stay in bed on the weekends for 2-3 hours before forcing myself to get up. Feel super out of it and like I’m in a dream. When I feel any stress or have to use any mental strength to do something, I get horrible brain fog and feel like I’m not even there. When my mom tells me to go do things and engage in things around me it makes it so bad because I have been forcing myself to do that for so long and it’s horrible I NEED to know what is wrong. I cry so much because It feels so bad and I cannot handle any stress and it makes me indescribably overwhelmed. That is not like me at all. It awful. I hate going places and doing things now and I get so much anxiety about it because everything feels fake and I’m always confused and everything is torture and when my mom fussed at me for not doing something it makes me cry. It takes so much out of me to do anything because the brain fog and derealization is so bad sometimes and it makes me super irritated and seem rude. School and baseball is also super hard because of it. Read adrenal fatigue can be caused by high stress and I have definitely had way more than high stress the last 3 months. Don’t even want to play xbox I just don’t feel right and no matter how hard I try to cope with it I can’t it makes me feel so bad. I can’t even just sit down and get my mind on other things something is wrong. When my mom tries to tell me about what is going on and how I should push through it and cope and all that the overwhelmingness I feel is INDESCRIBABLE. It’s the worst feeling ever I can’t even put into into words. I feel so trapped. When she tells me to get a hold of myself and the only way I can recover is keep pushing it makes me feel beyond stressed and not right because I have been doing this for so long and nothing seems right and I don’t even know anymore it’s so bad If I didn’t have school or other things I know for a fact I would just sit at home all day because I have absolutely no want to do anything and feel so bad. Everything that should be fun is torture to go through because I feel so out of it and bad. Every time my mom tells me something or fusses at me about it being anxiety or EBV and PANS or whatever I just cannot believe it at all because I’ve been believing it’s a million other things because she tells me it’s anxiety or dehydration or me not pushing through it, etc. and that gives me anxiety because I feel extremely horrible and have to run out the room and cry because I just can’t believe it and feel trapped like this. SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT AND IVE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR EVERYTHING MY PARENTS HAVE TOLD I HAVE OVER THE LAST THREE MONTHS. I HAVE to get to the bottom of this and recover. I have been going through this hell for too long. My theory is that taking the prednisone and sarms, while also dealing with all these stuff from the EBV caused bad adrenal fatigue to go along with messed up cortisol levels. I feel sooooo out of it at the worst times. On Saturday I had a baseball game fundraiser thing that lasted like 8 hours and then I forced myself to go hangout with friends and the next day I was full of derealization and brainfog. The derealization has never been so bad. The sun looked fake. Cars were driving by and I felt like I was watching a movie. Even the words I type seem weird and fake. It has never been this bad for so long. Sitting in my room my body doesn’t even feel like my own. It’s like my brain is detecting traumatic events for minor things. I am just absolutely horrified that it will get used to this and I will get Derealization/ depersonalization disorder. The thought of that makes me want to throw up. There is no way I can live like this and I need to be able to fix it. It’s like my brain is detecting minor things as TRAUMATIC events and no matter what I do I cannot cope at all. It’s the worst feeling ever. It makes me want to throw up. I can’t even sit down and do nothing. My body feels really light. Cannot cope with how bad I feel no matter what it makes me just want to sleep all the time. I just don’t feel right at all I don’t even know how to describe it. I can’t relax without feeling better and I can’t relax without knowing I can cure this and what I can do to cure it. I take B12, vitamin C, Lexapro, multivitamin, and probiotics. I eat nothing but healthy foods. I’ve tried literally everything and Its so hard to keep going through this something is not right it’s the worst feeling ever I took prednisone for about a week while I had really bad mono and also took SARM’s, both being steroids. I read overuse of steroids can cause Cushing’s Syndrome, and or mess up with cortisol levels. my only explanation to what is going on is that there is something wrong with my adrenal glands and cortisol, I can’t think of anything else. I have been thinking it’s other things for so long because I’m trying to be open minded but this is not anxiety or EBV there is no way.
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