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I'm 27 years old, I'm clean from heroin for five years now. My doctor started my process with 24 x 5mg tablets of methadone so that was 120 mg per day and he lowered my dose every month and after two years I was on 7 tablets per day (35mg) and then he switched me to 3 x 2mg suboxone (buprenorphine and naloxone) per day and I succeeded to lower the dose from 6mg to 4mg per day in the first year but that was the lowest I could go with sub even on that dose I was sick the second part of the day my pupils were huuuge and I was all shivering and peeing all the time as the day went by so I stayed on that dose for almost three years and when I talked to my doctor about getting me off sub for good (I don't want to be the slave of my body, I want to travel freely without carrying bunch of meds around and that little voice in my head that's telling me what if something goes wrong and I can't get ahold of my pills I'm gonna suffer sooo much from severe buprenorphine withdrawl simptoms... So I decided its enoug!) But my doctor wasn't interested to take me off suboxone, he said I have to lower my dose to 0,5mg of sub per day and then he could get me off with tramadol, catapresan, valium, xanax, but there was no way I could lower my dose anymore since that 4mg was low for me and I stayed on it for few years and then I canceled my suboxone from my doctor (its free in our country) and try to get off on my own, I'm two months and 10 days (70days) cclean from sub but I took other opiets to help my craving and I started with methadone 6 tablets per day and I succeeded to lower them to 3 per day in less than a month, then I tried switching to tradamadol since I couldn't lower my methadone anymore and that was a disaster beacause on tramadol I was sick all the time, crazy legs, diarrhea, anxiety I would hit my upper stomach sometimes just to make I stop, I took valium with that and leponex for sleep sometimes because I had no sleeping pills (like dormicum or fluzepam) no Mather how much tramadol I take I was sick even with whole box per day (20x50mg pills). I lasted like that for two weeks or so but my getting off sub process wasn't even near its end but I read that withdrawal symptoms can last up to 3, 4 months :-( and I had to stop my detoxification proces with tramadol since the high doses I had to take every day just to ease up the symptoms for a bit were dangerous and I was in epileptic seizure risk and I switched to fentanyl patch Duragesic 100mg/h for 72h but for me its more like 50h but ok. I'm on the patch for two weeks now and what now can pleeeeease someone help me. I'm still relatively young and I dont what to be addicet to some god damn substance... I was on hereoin since I was 13 almost all the time (except when I was on rehab but I didn't stay clean for long, only once for few months but that's it. But that period of my life is over, now I hate H, its yucky and I haven't touched it for more than five years now and I'm never thinking that I will do it again in some point of my life coz I know I wont, but then why am I still a F-ing addict?? I don't want to get addicted to fentanyl now, what to do next, please help. I cannot afford myself to be lock inside my house sick coz I'm on finishing year on coledge now, very active social life (my dad Is kind of famous in my city, so I'm always on evil eyes you know what I mean.. Btw my parents are very supportive and also think its time to quit all medicaments before I get addicted to them but the withdrawal from sub I far from over. I suffer a little bit, but not so much since even now I'm on substitute therapy everyone noticed there's something wrong with me and asking am I sick or what... I don't look so good since I stop sub more then 2 months a go. Before I started this "getting of sub process) I considered dr. Weismann's method of rapid detox that puts you anesthesia for few hours and bomb your brain with naloxone and you wake up cured I was so excited but the anesthesiologist suggested not to do it since my low blod pressure, I suffer from low pressure all my life, my normal BP is 88/56 and he said that any anesthesia is dangerous for me and it should be used only for a life threatening condition.. Maybe I have to find new rapid detox center, bet there aren't as much near my country ( that one I went was more then 1500km away and that's the nearest), maybe there is another, more professional one that will do the procedure on me with no or very little risk.. I will pay anything and go anywhere to resolve my problem, but I don't know where or what next. I kinda loss my faith in doctors ond became my own doctor and I know that's the worst ting I cold do but please have understanding I could go on like that anymore and my doctor woldnt help, he would be the happiest if he kept me on maintance on 4mg of sub, he said that on more then one occasion! I don't want to be addicted to pills for all my life, that's decades and decades of everyday taking pills that's millions of pills metabolised in my bode, no one can tell me there's no consequence in doing that... Please advise me, I'm hopeless at tho point but I don't want to throw away 70days off efforts and suffer trough the window. Thank you very much and sorry for my English. Kind regards.
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