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Had a week of ups and downs with recovery on the horizon and then snatched away. Feels like i am almost at my optimum dose combination of Sertraline and Mirtazapine but as close as i get to normality, the anxiety them washes me back again. It feels like i am getting caught in a rip tide and i’m being dragged further out to sea each time. If i am going to get back on my surf board and ride to recovery i think i am going to have to make a change. The 30mg Mirtazapine seemsto be doing good but its a very complicated and contradictive medication in terms of its many effects on brain chemicals/hormones.. e.g. serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine histamine, cortisol etc.
I’ve been thinking that the 30mg is too activating and so i’m going to reduce down to 22.5mg and increase the Sertraline from 175mg back to the maximum dose of 200mg. This feels like the last throw of the dice on this medication combination as i have been going up and down the doses on each since November last year. However, despite recovery not lasting, i am in a much better place than i was in November.
This is when you feel so alone and don’t know which way to turn. I speak to my GP and they don’t really know what to do either. Even the psychiatrist seems to be incapable of directing me on an appropriate strategy. This is where social media despite its evils can be such a big help. There are lots of forums like this one where you can talk to people who are going through similar experiences and bounce your ideas off. I also find that helping others is one of the best distractions from your own mental health issues. There is a guy on this forum who has helped me so much and i will seriously owe him a case of beer if this pay dice roll pays off.
The key to any medication or doseage change is to give it time. This is so difficult when you are faced with days of uneasy feelings like you’re going crazy and all manner of symptoms obstruct your day. However, if i can just get back on the board, i might be able to catch that wave again to recovery. Happy surfing to all fellow Serotonin Surfers! Watch this space.....
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