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I have a history of addiction and anxiety and was on citalopram a few years ago. I had a nightmare time coming off citalopram and hoped I would never need to go on medication again. However, I was paid off from my job in May and had, what I realise now, a mid life crisis. I just felt myself sinking into a pit of hopelessness.
I went to see my doctor and the options were psychology or meds. I've been down the NHS psychology route and couldn't face it again, so I reluctantly agreed to go on meds, but stressed I didn't want citalopram again as coming off of them was terrifying.
I was put on mirtazapine which were supposed to be easier to withdraw from. Well, I took them for 3 months and they were a wonderful antidepressant, but I built up a tolerance to them very quickly and put on 2 stones. I got to the stage where I was going to have to up them to 45mg and I had to way up the consequences. I didn't want to put on more weight and build up more tolerance.
I decided that I had dealt with the mid life stuff, so I would come off meds and make a new start. I hate missing out on sleep, so I came off them gradually and 4 weeks ago stopped them altogether. I haven't slept all weekend and have been having attacks of intense rage. My eyes were popping out of my head at one stage and I was afraid of feeling like that.
The upshot is, coming off these is hell also. They say these pills are non addictive, who are they trying to kid. Granted, they got me through hell, but there is a heavey price to pay. I hope to god this is the last time I need to go through this.
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