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Miserable and confused

Posted , 4 users are following.

Sairz
Sairz

Im having my first ever out break. Sores...leg pain....high temperature etc.

I don't know if I've had this for years or contracted it recently?

I last had unprotected sex a week ago. And the day after I had tingling and pain. Sores developed a day later.

I've been told you can be a carrier of the virus for years with no clue.

So do I just tell my most recent partner or do i tell everyone from the last 20 years so they can get tested?

I can't imagine ever feeling good about myself again.

I don't want to announce my condition to everyone I may be intimate with in the future.

I don't want to announce it to even one person. I'd rather be alone.

Is this a natural initial feeling?

Does it become normal life and no big deal eventually?

Right now I don't see how....

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • ryda8877
    ryda8877 Sairz

    Posted

    herpes pops up a couple times a year, it's about as annoying as acne. take your meds a few days before sex (or daily), wear condoms, eat healthy, strengthn your immune system and you'll be alright. don't forget 16% of sexually active people in America have it. Almost 20% of the entire population! thats about 1/6.

    Herpes is a skin condition, not HIV. 

    I just found out last week. I've actually been going threw waves of emotions, so I can't pretend to be thrilled about telling my future partners. However, I told the girl i've been talking to for the past month and she was totally cool with it. Her sister has it and her sister is even pregnant and about to get married! This really made my day and really strengthend my liking for her.

    Cheer up, send a message if you're feeling down

  • katie42587
    katie42587 Sairz

    Posted

    I think it’s probably most likely you caught it from your most recent partner if the tingling started the next day. 

    I personally wouldn’t go back and tell every previous partner, the virus can’t be diagnosed with swabs unless an outbreak is active. 

    My situation was different to you as I am still with the guy I was in a relationship with when I was diagnosed 3 years ago so haven’t ever had to tell a new partner about it. 

    But it is absolutely manageable and you can have a perfectly healthy sex life if you learn to manage your outbreaks and recognise the signs of an outbreak so you can avoid sex at those times. 

    I was very depressed when I was first diagnosed and I think it’s normal to have those feelings as it’s such an overwhelming diagnosis at first. 

    But it 100% does get better, outbreaks get less frequent and far less painful. Most of the time I don’t even think about having the virus at all now xx 

    • haz83342
      haz83342 katie42587

      Posted

      Hi katie

      Im a new case (man)after the first OB. 

      I did nt have sex after that. 

      I want to ask you. 

      Do your partner have herpes?

      If no, so how you keep him protected?

      Condom? Continous meds??

    • katie42587
      katie42587 haz83342

      Posted

      Hi haz, 

      We don’t know if he has it, I had my first outbreak when we’d been together about 5 months. 

      We were told that either he had the virus but had only ever had mild outbreaks that he hadn’t noticed and then passed it to me. Or I had caught it from a previous partner and had a delayed first outbreak. 

      Either way they said there was no point testing him as it can only be swabbed when active sores are present. 

      We don’t use condoms and I’m not on medication all we do is make sure not to have sex when I can feel an outbreak is coming. I can usually tell about 4 days before an outbreak occurs. 

      I did talk to him about the chance of passing it on to him but he wasn’t too worried, I guess it’s easier because we’re getting married so neither of us plan to have any other partners in the future. If I were starting a new relationship I would be more aware and careful about spreading the virus 

    • haz83342
      haz83342 katie42587

      Posted

      I think you are lucky in that scenario. 

      Best wishes 

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