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So, since 2014 I've been in and out of hospital with various abdominal and gynaecological problems. The pain will get so severe that all they can really give me is morphine.
Also, since I am allergic to ibuprofen, aspirin, codeine and Tramadol, there is really no other strong pain relief they can give.
So, every time I've gone to a&e (which is alot), they give me morphine.
Recently I've had this severe abdominal pain that the hospital can't seem to find the cause of. The pain gets so bad that I pass out and my body just can't handle it. So, the ambulance paramedics and a&e doctors give me morphine.
However, I've realised that now that I crave the morphine. At first I only wanted the morphine for when the pain flares up and gets really severe. But now, I want it even when I'm not in severe pain. I want it all the time to help relieve even the smallest sharp pain. I crave that feeling I get when it's injected; the lightheadedness, the 'high'.
How do I deal with this and stop myself from feeling this way?
I don't know what to do. I need help!
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