Mother in Law Advice Needed

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Hi Everybody

As if life isn't hard enough without having to deal with interfering In Laws.

How do you tell them you don't want something when you are so stressed and depressed without hurting there feelings?

At the moment I want to throw the 8 new soup bowels out of the kitchen window. :twisted: I didn't want them I have no room or use for them and my husband had promised to buy me a new dinner service next week before our visiters arrived.

I know they mean well but when you feel so awful its so hard to be nice.

Lizzy

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15 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Lizy bloody inlaws are a real pain Iv got to spend mothers day with his family and i am dreading it every thing i say or do is wrong i will just get very drunk and mouth of my husband will go mad and my mother in law will cry.

    I try to be nice but it doesnt alway work.

    Wait until your guest's leave and trough the bowels away then treat your self to some nice new ones. (plus the shoping therapy helps)

    Stay positive and a rember they are not going to be arround forever foucus on what your going to do once they have gone

    Good Luck Honey

    Marie

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  • Posted

    Hi Marie

    Thanks for your reply feel like smashing then but they come round at least twice a week and always noseying around .

    I haven't told them i'm ill as they're never ill and didn't even come to visit my husband in hospital when he had a brain tummor removed.

    Normaly i just let it wash over me but this time they have just made me so cross. :twisted: :evil:

    I've told my hubby he can go round on his own this year enough is enough.

    Maybe i could try drinking next time at least i may feel more relaxed.

    Hope everybody else feels ok here some light refreshment for you all :redwine: :guinness: :cupcake: :bubbly: :choc: :burger: :ale: :cake: enjoy

    Lizzy

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  • Posted

    Good evening Lizy

    If you hate the bowls sooo much do not stress yourself smile brightly and thank them (set them off guard) keep one bowl, so if asked if you have them you can say \"here they are... show a bowl and say we will not use these tonight and give the rest to a charity shop the money they raise will give someone else some relief of their problems!!!

    Marie

    You sound as if you need a big hug,Deep breaths on mothers day and don't drink too much the tablets will work loads better. Not sure are you a mother yourself if you are how old are your children?

    Look after yourselves

    Andrea xx

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  • Posted

    Hi Lizy / Andrea

    Did you make it to the inlaws on sunday?

    I am a mother of 2 girls (5 & 8) mothers day was a drunk haze the morning was fine my girls made me breakfast with pressies and then on to the evil mothering laws. i drunk way to much but i stopped myself from making her cry.

    I try and avoid her but we live a cross the road from them and they are always popping in and moaning about the way i bring up the kids even though they are happy girls and always clean and healthy. they girls know about mummy's mad pills but they never see me upset.

    Last week was a bad one for me and i dont advise getting drunk to deal with things.

    Its strange i feel like a child and i cant behave myself at the moment, i think the pill have maybe made me to happy.

    Anyway i hope you girls are ok

    Marie

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  • Posted

    Hi Marie and Andrea

    My Mothers day was good my eldest gave me Baileys and the other 3 gave me chocolates.

    I made my husband go and visit his parents on the Sat as i was still very cross and am still very cross. In the 24 years we have been together I have always behaved myself and let things wash over me, BUT the combination of stopping the pills and all my other health problems I just saw red. A bit like when you tell your Boss to stick his job but I can't do that as hes a very good friend. Anyway he told them they could take there soup bowls back and they wouldn't. They then wanted to come round Sun and he said NO.

    The problem now is I'm not as brave as I would like to think I am and so every late afternoon this week I have hidden as I can't face them. They turn up at least twice a week at about 3pm to see the kids as they get home from school so early.

    I ordered the new dinner service Monday as my husband had been nagging me to do it for weeks as we have visitors over Easter and we don't have enough dinner plates and cereal bowls. I HATE SHOPPING why didn't he tell me i could buy it on line i would have done it weeks ago!!!!!!!!!!!! They are arriving today.

    As for the alcohol I very rarely have a drink due to my health and the fact that I swell up like a balloon when i have any. But oh how I would like to be able to blott some life out for an hour or too.The only way I get a break is by going to sleep. Then quite often have night mares or panic attacks.

    As for the kids they know I'm ill and are helpful when they see me struggling. Its hard to hide it from teenagers as they spend so much time around you. Most of the time my mum is quite good. She suggested we use them for target practice. I think e-bay myself eternal beau is still selling I see.

    I hope you all have a good day.

    Lizzy

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  • Posted

    Hi Lizy

    Well done for giving the bowels back :D

    I am having a crap day at work i have been stuck on the reception as my secutary has gone to the doc's I am a architect not a receptionest i feel exposed and i have to chat people i dont no...Not good i can feel the panic setting in everytime some one walks in.

    Children are great for making you happy i think at times if it wasnt for them i would be trully round the bend. I am not getting on to well with my husband at the moment so its not halping the sistuation much.

    My doughter is going on her 1st sleep over school trip on Monday for 2 nghts and i am having nightmares about bad things that could happen i dont want her to go she is only 8 and my special baby, my huband said i had to live with it she is going and she is looking forward to it. I have booked an appointment for Monday with the doc as i no i am going to be a mess and will need strong knock out pills, if i cant get them then i will have to hit the bottle and thats not good but i cant see another way around it.

    Sleep donesnt help as i have very bad dreams... drunk sleep is the only way. I have not slept for 4 days I am running on empty.

    Hope you day is going better then mine

    Marie

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  • Posted

    Hi

    Well the dinner service has arrived all washed and put away. Daughter number 4 will be home in ten mins plan to go straight out with her so that no chance of seeing inlaws. Daughter number 2 is doing a detention after school and then going to play with the flute choir. My son will be home with my hubby about 5 30 pm as he works close to his school. Daughter number 1 is at Loughborough Uni studying Civil engineering.

    Is your secretary back? Its not the people I hate talking to in general its SCHOOL TEACHERS and DOCTORS and now the in-laws.

    School trips are part of growing up they need to have that experience I know I found it hard with my first. It will be worth it when she comes back very happy and very tired. Drink is not the answer. But haven't found another way of shutting the brain up. There must be a way.Its like getting a tune stuck in your head.

    Number 4 daughter arrived home shes just laughed at me now she knows why the door was locked. Thank goodness she doesn't understand what i'm going through.

    Take care my hubby also been brilliant these past 5 weeks.

    Lizzy

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  • Posted

    hi Marie and Lizzy

    Lizzy I hope you are pleased with your new dinner service and another problem solved. Marie i hope your sectary is back because I know how hard it is to do simple things other people take for granted like answering the phone, which is scary for us. I Know people do not understand unless they are a sufferer or know someone who suffers that is why sites like this are good to contact other sufferers who do understand.

    I agree with Lizzy drink is not the answer but I too have used it to block out the feelings so I can have a good nights sleep

    Take care xxx

    The computer is stopping me using Andrea K but this is me !!!!

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  • Posted

    hi

    My secertary was at the doc's and returned to tell us she was leaving to have a baby (lucky thing) no good for me i have to employ a new one i have bad luck with secerterys as construction is a hard enviroment for a women they normally leave after a while. this one was good its a shame.

    you would think people want to keep their job in this climate not walk out after a few weeks. Oh well another problem to add to the rest, good job i am feeling stronger today

    Love to all

    Marie

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  • Posted

    Hi Marie and Andrea

    Well thats some things sorted collected daughter from Uni shes home for Easter.

    Started on the housework as its major re-shuffle. My brother is living with us as he is Type 1 diabetic and has got a metal frame round his leg to help repair a break. In two weeks we have a German student ariving to live with us for 10 days.

    So the house will be full of people I hope I feel more with it by then.

    Sorry to hear you have to find another secretary.

    What you been up to Andrea ?

    Everyone likes the new dinner service thank goodness.

    Inlaws not been yet!!!

    So I'm not the only one who has a problem with answering the phone? My GP asked me how he was going to contact me i just sat there like a goldfish. He said if i wouldn't answer the phone how could he help me.

    Lizzy

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  • Posted

    Hi Everyone

    Still no sign of the In-laws :? :? :? :?

    So now I feel bad about what i said about them and made my husband do.

    Never been cross for as long as 10 days. Now I feel sad Hope I get over the sad part quickly. Am i going to have to go and say sorry??

    No not yet don't feel that bad maybe they will come round in the next few days. Never been away this long before. All over 8 stupid soup bowls.

    Lizzy

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  • Posted

    Hi

    I've had the most dreadful day.

    Firstly up at 4.30am and did loads of housework.

    Work 9 till 1pm

    Pick new car up at 2 pm

    Arrive home at 3pm sat down for 2 mins and then the in-laws turned up.The kids were good they stayed with me.

    3.10pm daughter tells me had mobile phone stolen and house key stolen at lunchtime at school. Phone insurance cost me £50 for new lock phone not covered. Inlaws still here. Eventually they go and start tea. Daughter arrives home says she hurt her foot.

    Have tea and locks changed. So now want to play with new toy so we all pile into car. Go 2 miles down road to be flagged by man saying wheel hub come off. Out of the five of us only 2 got shoes on. So 1 and 1/2 mile walk to try and find hub cap. 1 hour drive which 40 mins spent looking for hub cap. While looking daughter starts screaming with pain. Find hub cap go home. daughter gone to A & E.

    Wash tea pots sit down to rest.

    Life can be just too hetic.

    Lizzy

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  • Posted

    Hi

    My daughter is home shes fine its just a sprain.

    Lizzy

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  • Posted

    Hi Lizy

    sounds like a bad one yesterday i hope things improve today.

    I stayed up all night last night not even the diazapane worked my husband hide the pills as he was worried that i would OD I wouldnt do it on perpouse but at 5am this morning i would do anything for sleep.

    I am again Zombie like today.

    My daughter is back today at 3pm i am going to try and leave work early I have missed her so much.

    Hope today is better for you

    Marie

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  • Posted

    Hi everyone

    Hope you are all enjoying the nice weather over this bank holiday.

    I was really enjoying a quiet sunday afternoon in front of the tv 2 kids out one asleep and the other on the computer. Brother in his room hubby asleep. So I locked the front door and sat down to watch tv first time since xmas.

    I was half way through the xmas special of Johnathon Creek when there was a knock at the door. So i got up and answered it. Yes you guessed IN-LAWS and they had the nerve to ask me why the door was locked. (to stop them barging in if they dropped by) So I was a bit niggled by that so I decided to carry on watching the tv. It was just coming to the bit on how the bath tips the person into an underwater tank and kills them, when his dad tells me whats going to happen. Which made me even crosser so rather than pausing the recording I watched till the end about 30 mins and ignored them every time they spoke. :twisted: :evil:

    My son made them a cup of tea and after they had gone said did it matter that the tea bag had burst in the mug. :lol:

    Why can't they just ring to let me know that they are coming. My mum always does.

    Lizzy

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