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My mother-in-law has Alzheimers. Recently, her ability to communicate effectively and take care of herself has substantially diminished - I mean, almost overnight! Through an incident, she ended up in an Assessment Unit and we have been told, informally, that she will not be returning home where she has managed up until now. My husband and I are the POAs in terms of her welfare and agree that she, in her present state, will be unable to return home. It seems that the recommendation will be that she now needs 24hr supervised care-not health care. Our dilemma is that there is only one home in the area that my husband and I feel will meet my MIL's needs..there is normally a waiting list so what happens if there are no places? I have knowledge of other families in the area whose parent was put into an alternative home, to wait for space available at the preferred place, but once in the home, the Social Work put on the brakes and take forever to do anything. I wish to avoid this situation - what can I do? Can we insist on a specific home and offer for her to stay with us until a place becomes available? The other issue relates to the POA and the upcoming meeting at the hospital that will decide my MIL's fate. My MIL has two sons, one who only sees her 2/3 times per year for short periods (this has been the situation for several years and has not been an issue up until now). My husband and I live within yards of my MIL, we are the main carers and the POAs. My husband's brother has suddenly decided to visit and I think will want to attend the meeting referred to earlier - my husband and I would prefer if he did not attend as he has been chatting to nurses, doctors and SW as if he KNOWS what has been going on for the past 2 years since diagnosis. This in itself is causing me great stress....he is rather patronising and intimidating to me. This is a difficult time for all. Can we insist that only POAs and the care professionals attend this meeting - since he has not been at ANY other meeting, assessment, hospital appointment, doctors surgery, there when she needs reassurance at 2am, and so on...........?
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