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Moving House. Im exhausted

Posted , 8 users are following.

ann46903
ann46903

We are downsizing from a big 5 bedroom to a smaller house on the coast. We have to be out by Christmas and just the thought of what there is to do makes me want to hide under the duvet. I'm exhausted after packing up one box let alone going to get the boxes which takes forever, and sorting through years worth of possssions and everyones stuff.. My husband works away so can only help at weekends. The loft is terrifying. I dont know where to start. There are things up there I could sell that are worth a few bob, but I have no energy to sort through it all. I went up yesterday to have a look and make a start, but it would take months to clear it all. We have 5 grown up kids but they are all  busy with their own lives and live too far away to help.I dont know why im posting this as there is nothing anyone can do. I just feel helpless at the moment. Im 57 and ten years ago i could have managed all this with no problem. Now my fibro has got so bad and the menopause on top as well as general ageing. Its a horrible business. 

1 like, 15 replies

15 Replies

  • kaz_40
    kaz_40 ann46903

    Posted

    Hi ann46903 Its hard on us when we have always been able to do what we want, when we want. But fibro has robbed us of that all we can do is do what we can do,do a bit at a time and rest in between. The british heart foundation where I live collects items that you want to donate. Perhaps you could donate your items to charity or even have a garage sale if theirs some one that could help you. A friend of mine held a garage sale sold quiet a bit of her stuff. I have had a sort out in my home bit by bit, and donated my unwanted items to the british heart foundation. They come out in a van collect the items from you, they also have a furniture shop and electrical shop. Do you have friends that could spare some time to help you. Try not to stress worry easier said than done I know as it makes our condition worse. take care just do a bit at a time 
  • ann46903
    ann46903

    Posted

    Thanks Kaz

    Yes Iv'e been taking heaps to charity shops (heart foundation one of them) and had a lorry turn up from Salvation Army who I always donate to, but these drivers were so rude. They said We dont normally come to toffee nose areas!! I couldn;t believe it. I had to explain although I live in a big house I didnt always etc. I said to them well its a good job you have come because look what im giving you. (donated such a lot of furniture) and all good stuff. I haven't got the energy to deal with people like that anymore and this is not the place to have garage sales really. I miss my old energy so much, everything is a daunting task. I take Dosulepin at night to help sleep and for anxiety which helps a bit. Thanks for your reply

    • kaz_40
      kaz_40 ann46903

      Posted

      Hi ann46903 Thats terrible what they said you, you were being generous and kind by what you were giving. Their was need for them to act in that way. My friend lives in a big posh house on a big posh estate, but it didnt stop her from having her garage sale some proceeds she gave to charity some kept for herself. Im unable to take anything for pain relief as had severe reactions to meds Im allergic to opoids. It is a daunting task for you,having fibro isnt helping. all you can do is a bit at a time rest in between, do some sorting one day have a break the next. take care
  • Flowerlady
    Flowerlady ann46903

    Posted

    Hi Ann

    Trust me, I don't post on here a great deal now..But I know exactly what you are going through as I have just moved house again! We sold a very large bungalow with a huge garden to downsize as I can't manage to do much anymore. We could not find another bungalow to purchase, so had to pack up and move early last December into a rented property..my husband works away too.. No help from family either..We were not at all happy in the rented bungalow, because it was so cold costing us £200 per month to heat. It took us a while to find a bunglow, which we have now done. and moved here three weeks ago..I am home alone with my Bichon Frese trying to cope.. pottering etc. And also putting up with the leaks in the Conservatory and Carport( Conservatory leak now fixed at last)

    So Ann, you are not alone.biggrin

    Good luck with your packing

    • ann46903
      ann46903 Flowerlady

      Posted

      That was a big worry (going into rented if we didn't get the house in time) and still is, as no contracts been signed yet. To be honest, I dont think I could do it. I have been through too much in my life and the stress throughout has been the cause of my fibro im certain of it. Re the van drivers, well The older I get the more I realize how selfish, greedy and ungrateful people have been to me, though I have been a giver all my life, and wonder if my daughters are right when they say I try too hard. This is not really the right place to go into it all, but being naive, trusting and honest has lost me everything in the past and now im finally happy and have a lovely husband and nice life, all the past is coming out and im in pain all the time. You would never think it to look at me. No one believes it but I feel ill every single day. I know you understand. Thanks for listening. 
  • Boqer
    Boqer ann46903

    Posted

    Hi Ann,

    Well done for posting on here, that's what it's for, so when you feel you have no where to turn there are people on here who understand what you are going through.

    I can't believe the cheek of those drivers who came to collect things from you! People never cease to amaze me! rolleyes

    If the place you live is not suitable for garage sales, how about trying some house clearance people? There should be some in your local ads somewhere. They don't always pay the best, but at least they will come and have a look and take away the things you don't want, it saves you sorting and packing and lugging things around, and if they are snooty because they think you are just tell them you aren't interested in their offer, send them packing and ring someone else, it's their loss 😁

    Hope you have a relaxing evening

    Gentle hugs

    • ann46903
      ann46903 Boqer

      Posted

      PS if you read my last post, well I have moved quite a few times before when I was on my own with children (after divorce) and we had to leave our family home and move into rented. I had house clearance people, well they ripped me off so bad, and knowing I was desperate as had to move quickly, took terrible advantage. I got a pittance for expensive furniture etc (trust me I could write a book) Never again would I use house clearance thieves. Anyway my lovely husband told me not to worry about anything, he will get it all done. I will try not to let it get on top of me.Anyway I do appreciate all this help. Thanks.  p.s. I started the gym a few months ago but had to give it up from pain. I was doing well but it got too much.  I dont discuss this with family as they look at me like im mad. If you put your make up on, dress well and have your hair done, you MUST be ok. ha!
    • Boqer
      Boqer ann46903

      Posted

      Ahh, yes, I know it's very difficult for people to understand how we are, how things affect us, and we are constantly having to put a brave face on things. Sounds like you are doing very well even going to gym in the first place! Things don't always work out, but you gave it a shot, and should be pleased with yourself because of it. I was thinking of doing some Thai Chi as its not too exertive, but I think it's going to be a while before I get to it.

      It's good that you have your husband and he helps you with thing, to have someone who understands can be a huge source of strength, just knowing they are there is a lovely thing!

      Hope you enjoy your evening

  • Meg53
    Meg53 ann46903

    Posted

    Hi Ann, poor you what a big task ahead of you and if you feel anything like I feel you must be exhausted before you even start. One idea I had: are there any reputable handimen in the neighbourhood who you could get to help pack stuff and take it to charity shops. Maybe your neighbours use some one, that way you can check referencs etc. 

    Don't you hate prejudice, those men were completely out of order, idiots. Sometimes I don't get life, why do some people take advantage of the good and kind people, they should be appreciated not dumped on. Apologies for this rant.

    Best of luck in your move and remember you are not alone, we are here to support each other. Megx

  • christine26761
    christine26761 ann46903

    Posted

    Poor you ann, feeling for you, it's gotta be one of the worst jobs for someone suffering from Fibro...it's just not fair..is it? I've been there...awful time.. You really need to pace yourself even if it's done in the middle of the night..you can only do it when your up to it..pity the kids live too far away to help...anytime to feel helpless like this, just come on this forum and be encouraged..we understand..have real empathy for you always..hope you get some help from somewhere..I have a huge church famly in hand and that's my help...plus of course my wonderful husband who us niw my carer..sooo helpful...he's a retired pastor ...so he's always on hand...fir which I'm ever so grateful....We alway donate things we no longer need to charity..it really helps to know someone in a charity that can maybe help you especially in the loft....maybe you could ask them to help you sort through the things as you want to donate some..??? maybe worth a try...have a lovely fruitful weeken ann..be blessed..:-)xxxx
  • manda1030
    manda1030 ann46903

    Posted

    Ann,

    Moving is a chore for anyone but add Fybro. To the mix and I can see why you are so over whelmed. I would just take it one room at a time one box at a time if you must. Try not to think about the whole picture at once but small manageable projects. Anyway that's what I have to do. Best of luck to you and yours. Hot baths can do wonders with a warm beverage after a stress filled and painful day. Keep smiling and just go slow. Wishing you good days and memories a head. Sorry you don't have more help in the packing up process.... xx

  • diagnosisisalie
    diagnosisisalie ann46903

    Posted

    Hi I just unpacked my house. I went from 3000 sqaure feet to1800 feet. Much betterand yes I felt just like you . First have a goal for the hour , for the day . Little steps getts it done. You said your kids are adults that means there bedroomsshould be packed . Tell them that you need kid1 for 2 hours AND GET WORK DONE. THEN THE NEXT DAY CHILD2 TO HELP YOU. i found having a walker was very helpful in packing and moving. Throw it away , I threw away so much I also got a storage for all my plastic bins for when I can go back to teach. I have 5 loads of laundry to do before the garage is empty which means the bins will relocate to the garage/ Do not over do it, you will get done what you can
  • diagnosisisalie
    diagnosisisalie ann46903

    Posted

    Hi I just unpacked my house. I went from 3000 sqaure feet to1800 feet. Much betterand yes I felt just like you . First have a goal for the hour , for the day . Little steps getts it done. You said your kids are adults that means there bedroomsshould be packed . Tell them that you need kid1 for 2 hours AND GET WORK DONE. THEN THE NEXT DAY CHILD2 TO HELP YOU. i found having a walker was very helpful in packing and moving. Throw it away , I threw away so much I also got a storage for all my plastic bins for when I can go back to teach. I have 5 loads of laundry to do before the garage is empty which means the bins will relocate to the garage/ Do not over do it, you will get done what you can
  • Kenny200
    Kenny200 ann46903

    Posted

    maybe you need a help of a moving company? I for example use the ''mmovers. ca'' when i move to Canada

  • amberhina
    amberhina ann46903

    Posted

    Moving at such age is indeed quite a job. Well, kudos to you for taking up the task. Since your children are far away and cannot come for help, that means only you and your husband remain. Since he is not available except on weekends I suggest you don't do packing unless it's a weekend. Here is what you can do on other days:

    - You can sort and make a list of things to decide where will go what. You can start by making a list of items that you want to move, to sell, and the items you just want to give to charity.

    - Or you can pick and move stuff that is lightweight and won't hurt your back or cause pain by the end of the day.

    -On weekends when your husband is home, if he can call any of his friends for help, the list will really help in finishing the work quickly since you know where goes what. 

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