MRI with contrast today, panic attacks....please help.

Good morning, 

I had severe allergies back in March 2016. I started having a lot of pressure and muffled hearing in my left year. I went to a general physician and she prescribed allergy medication, she said I have Eustachian tube dysfunction, she asked me to visit her later after I finish my course of medication. I could not book an appointment with her later as she retired. I had to wait till November 2016 to get checked with ENT doctor and she puts me on antibiotics and asked me to come back after 2 weeks. I started a new job and our insurance changed, with all the stuff going on in life, I never went back to the doctor until last week( June 2018). The ENT doctor was very shocked because I neglected hearing loss since November 2016. My audio test was very bad and she said I should get my MRI done and she thought it is highly unlikely that I middle ear problems.

I am very very scared and anxious because I am 34 and I have two young kids(5 and 3).

I am very very anxious and suffered two panic attacks this week alone, thinking about MRI and the results and most importantly my kids. I don't have any other family and I am the only person who takes care of my kids. All this makes me terrified and nervous. I have limited friends circle who live very far away.

I am really scared with all these thoughts in my head since I neglected it for so long( 2 and half years ) will the AN have grown so big or do I really have AN ??

I do not have any other symptoms except the hearing loss, I don't have vertigo or fatigue. I don't have any balance problems too. What is the possibility of having AN for just having hearing loss and no vertigo or dizziness or balance problems?

Please help me. I am really anxious and living in fear every single day thinking about the hearing loss that I neglected for 2 and half years. I just don't know what future holds for me. I was taking care of my kids alone and put myself on the back burner for so long. 

I did my MRI today with and without contrast. They administered gadolinium today and now I am scared about the dye. I did not research about gadolinium before I did my MRI and now after researching gadolinium I am really really scared that it might remain in my brain for years and I am not sure what complications are going to arise from gadolinium. I worry about the toxicity now and my results.

Is Gadolinium safe, this is my first MRI. Will Gadolinium remain in the body forever ??

Thank you so much for your patience and time, 

ved

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