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Much needed support

Posted , 2 users are following.

Sassy2543
Sassy2543

I have only had to tell 2 guys about having herpes since I found out last summer. Both were accepting of me and never even flinched when I told them. One of the guys is my ex. We broke up for reasons that had nothing to do with herpes. The other guy is a very good friend that I have been close to for 5 years. I finally backed away from guys because looking for love has brought me heartache and things were. I have been focused on my job and myself. All of a sudden, I received a random message from a guy that I met over a year ago. He was so sweet, stable, and we clicked! It was just one of those "right place, wrong time" situations. We lost touch and now, a year later, he looked me up and contacted me. It was so good to hear from him and be has been sooo sweet and everything that I've been needing lately. The problem is, I got herpes after we quit talking the first time. I'm terrified to tell him. Even though I have had good reactions previously, it never gets easier. It just seems like a sick joke that this great guy came sweeping back into my life.....after I got herpes! I'm feeling down and stressed. sad

0 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • feelbroken
    feelbroken Sassy2543

    Posted

    Hey Sassy,

    I completely understand your trepidation going into this, but I questioned a few things, before I felt I could give my full feed back.  How long did you guys date/see each other and get to know one another previously?

     

    • Sassy2543
      Sassy2543 feelbroken

      Posted

      We were hanging out and getting to know each other for a few months. It was an honest, real, and genuine feeling that I'm not used to. He went out of state for work and that's when we drifted off. No hard feelings... just the right place at the wrong time. We hadn't established a strong enough foundation to last long distance. When he reached out to me, I was thrown for a loop... but I was ecstatic! He is still just as sweet, genuine, and caring as before. It just breaks my heart that he doesn't realize that when he reached out to me, he reached out to a broken girl. He started telling me today that I have loyal traits and that I would make a wonderful partner and mother and that he wants to cook me dinner one night soon. When he started taking the conversation there, I was so happy... but it scared me so much! Honestly, I know that telling him is a 50/50 chance of acceptance or rejection and no one can tell me what will happen . I just came on here to vent and lean on all of your shoulders. Lol smile

      It's just not fair. I have the biggest heart and am always looking out for everyone. Just sucks that no one was looking out for me.

    • feelbroken
      feelbroken Sassy2543

      Posted

      You know, if he's everything you describe him to be, I believe he will accept it and if he really sees all that in you, then he will accept it.  I have a problem with obsessing about telling right from the get-go and it is such a waste of time.  I tell myself this every time and I keep doing it.  It is so useless, as you may spend more time with them and not even like them.  It may just be that something comes up and you two won't work or he isn't interested in you either!  So try not to freak and project the outcome, until you get to that place.  Wait until you are close to being intimate and don't rush things.  I found this great site last night and I just loved it!  This site is a lot of doom and gloom, because people come here out of desperation experiencing their first ob.  This other one is set up as a private community and it has a lot of great info on there.  Looking up stuff on how to tell a partner and pamphlets you can provide them, I found this great pamphlet to give them that isn't overwhelming and states the statistical facts from studies.  I think this should provide you with more confidence for when the time comes to tell him.  Don't necessarily rush in to tell him.. make sure you see it going somewhere first and you both are on the same page and not moving away.  Keep me tuned in!
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