my 16 yr old son was diagnosed with high functioning autism last July :(

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He stopped going to school at the beginning of yr 10 due to bullying and anxiety, doctor referred him and nearly two years later still no school, he hardly talks now spends all his time in he's bedroom xbox ! At the moment he is awake all night and sleeps all day. Can anyone tell me that he will come out of this and live a life as I'm so worried for his future

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  • Posted

    Hi Jane not sure you will read this but your son is a replica of my son.My son left school also due to bullying and anxiety he was 14 at the time and was put into a very small unit with a class of 6 where he stayed untill he was 16.He spent his days in his bedroom with his x box he was also awake all night and slept all day he is now 19 and never attended college and he has depression and anxiety and his aspergers has taken his youth. my son was lucky to be invited to an 18 birthday party and decided live couldnt be any worse he did make a small friendship group and struggles to maintain his friendships.Life in our home was very happy but now its like my family fell apart,

    I wish you strenght to face any challengers   but be positive and stay strong xx

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    • Posted

      Hi Catherine 666, thanks for replying, its so hard isn't it? He is now awke in the day as it was upsetting him being awake at night, he will come out with me for a walk when I'm not working, he has been offered a place at a small college with a one to one tutor as he told them he doesn't want to be on a group or make friends!!! I'm praying he goes, the college says they have had boys like him before. He too used to be a happy quirky kid, and then at 14 it all changed!! He must have realised he was different, I feel like like that's it now, my life is going to be looking after him, did your son get the EHC plan? Jane x
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  • Posted

    Hi Jane its so very difficult i feel as though my son has been abducted and another put in his place. My son does have a girlfriend at present but struggles to understand a relationship and last night in our home he had a massive melt down in front of her resulting in my son running off and is now in her home not responding to my txts this is my punishment as i am blamed for everything with my son. My son never had any statment put in place because at the time i was trying to get my son into college he had not been diagnosed with aspergers his diagnoses was depression and anxiety and after 8 years of theraphy he was diagnosed last year but resorces are not great for aspergers in adult services. I am my sons 24/7 carer i attend all appointments with my son he has diabeties  rhymatoid arthritis  coeliac and had surgury on his legs 3 years ago as he was toe walking a behavioural problem of aspergers i was told. Your son is a little younger than mine so push for all you want for him to get through college and also to deal with how he feels keep your chin up jane things have to get better for both the parent and the boys xxx
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    • Posted

      Hi Catherine, I hate it when they have a meltdown!! And you just wait to see what else will get broke sad the EHC plan replaces the statement of young adults when they are 16, which means your son can get help until he is 25

      I was advised to apply on line for it as soon as James was diagnosed just before he's 16 the birthday!! Why don't you look into it? Us Mums will survive this for the same of our boys hey, keep strong smile xxx

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    • Posted

      Thanks jane i will look into it.

      Just to let anyone know the princess trust run a good program called the fairbridge which is about 12 weeks course its confidence building and part of the course is a 3 day residential outdoor activity in the peak districk i think. I did get a placement for my son but he decided not to go but i do know people who have benefited well from it . biggrin catherine x

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    • Posted

      Thanks Catherine but I don't think he will go, he won't talk to anyone and only wants to be with me, I just wish he was like he's brother and sister sad x
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  • Posted

    Hi Jane, my boy was diagnosed with high functioning autism at age 4, was in mainstream school and bullied to the point he became suicidal  at 8. Took him out of school & he was transferred to special needs. He went to college,3 years in special needs unit then mainstream until he was 22. He is nearly 25 now, does not come out of his room. Spends all his time on Xbox, awake all night asleep all day. Got a couple of friends from college but mainly an on line friendship. Have tried to get him help from social services, but they say he does not qualify.  They referred me to MIND FOR CONFIDENCE BUILDING but they said they do not deal with Autism. His anxiety, lack of confidence keep him housebound. I look after him full time.
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    • Posted

      Bless you, James is supposed to start a life skills course in September, but he's told them he doesn't want to be with other kids and doesn't want to make friends!! I hope he goes there, as he will end up housebound and a recluse too, he also relies on me for everything! I'm 50 next month and brought all three kids up on my own since he was 5, I thought this would be my time to hopefully meet someone but its not going to happen I think I've decided to get a dog instead lol, it is a comfort to know I'm not alone in this horrible thing "autism". Our poor boys xxx
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    • Posted

      Hi Jane, I hope he will go as he may make some friends at least. Once the other pupils are young adults they become more reliable as in less unpredictable they way younger kids can be. Our kids can see this as a huge problem so want to opt out. Not good for them though. My son has a girlfriend and she sometimes gets him out of the house as he wants to please her. My son is not happy around dogs. Ok if they lay quietly but if they jump up lick or bark he is off! But I have heard good stories of dogs helping them come out of their shell. I am 63, after being on my own with my son for quite a few years I met someone . We have been together 5 years, married for 2. So don't give up on your own life. You are important too . Of course you need to ensure he is safe and fed etc. one good thing was he was not going to get in any trouble or hurt himself because he was not going to come out of his room. My new husband is very good with him. Took a while but we can leave him. He will make toast and a cold drink and he feeds the cat too lol . Which comes in handy. My daughter also helps out when we go on holiday. He does not want to come with us which is a shame.   Remember you need a life too. Hugs from me x
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    • Posted

      Thanks caroleanne, I know its not nice but its good to know ime not the only one going through this, its great you've met someone!! You never know I might one day smile xx
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    • Posted

      Good luck Jane, I really hope you find someone nice who will accept your son . We have had them all their lives, but it is hard for a new person to accept and understand the limitations their condition imposes on their ability to look after themselves and be independent.  I can well remember the "he is old enough to do XYZ for himself! " discussions. But now he does understand the majority of the time. 😀 xx
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