Apparently he is high functioning, but comes to our home every day and thinks that he is entitled. We are seniors who have 2 other sons who treat us with respect. How can we gradually help him to let go?
I'm not quite sure what your post is supposed to mean, when you say apparently your son is high functioning asd, what is the coralation between that and him coming to visit you every day, what id it that he dos that annoys you so much? in what way does he direspect you and your home? you have not really explained anything, why do you want him to let go?, Most parents would love for their grownup children to bother visiting them.The thing with him is he will want to stick to what is familiar to him, same patterns of behaivour and routines. that is all part of being autistic, and it doesn't matter how old he is, he is still your child regardless of age. The same as your other two sons, why do they get different treatment, just because they live at home with you? I understand its difficult especially as we get older, with lack of finance ect, do your other son's contribute to the household and your asd son doesn't I am trying to understand but its difficult when you have written so little, it doesnt explain your situation in relation to your son and what he does within your home!!
It sounds very much like an autistic person who works and lives in chaos, he can't help it, it's just the way he is. Of course, trying to help him understand what you do and don't want, may mean either disciplining him, or maybe you could employ a family councillor to sit down with you and discuss available options. I'm not sure what kind of personality your son has, but if you say he can interract with members of the public, and owns his own home, unless of couse you pay for it, I'm not sure what the problem is. He feels safer in you home late at night than his owns? Maybe its worth explaining to him how you both feel before you take out an injunction order, he will want you to explain clearly and with sympathy.