My anxiety has turned into Intrusive thoughts/urges. Feel like I am losing my mind.

I went through this last year. Last January. And I had intrusive thoughts that I was going to leave my husband or that I would hurt somebody or that I would lose my mind. I CONSTANTLY felt as if I was going to go crazy. I was constantly antsy like I couldn’t sit still. I tried the breathing techniques .... didn’t work..... I tried jumping jacks and exercise.... it made it worse. This went on for about 11 months and finally I just started arguing with myself. If I had a thought that I was going to leave or hurt my husband I sat down and wrote a list of every reason why I love him and would never leave him. When I thought I was going crazy.... I’d just say what if I do ..... if I do then I do. Worrying about it won’t stop it. 

It took a while but when I quit fearing it, it went away. I still have anxiety and panic but if I keep my thoughts rational. It goes away much quicker and it’s not near as scary. 

Good luck to you! 

Anthony, 

You've gone through my journey. Had blood tests, ultrasounds, rectal checks, just to hear, you're good or oh, you have small fissure or a hemmroid, or yea that's not the symptoms for a brain tumor. 

I've suffered through these intrusive thoughts and its scary. They come from irrational fears that you have towards the person you care for. I used to suffer from this (harming my mom) ever since I was eight years old. I never said anything which made it worse and that finally exploded into a full blown Anxiety attack in 2014. From there, these intrusive thoughts attacked me for an entire year non-stop. Before it was just a two to three day episodes every four to eight years. 

I went for therapy and my psychologist and psychiatrist diagnosed me with OCD, the specific version is called Pure/Harm OCD. If you haven't gone to a therapist, you should go, and they'll help you out sort through this. It took me a while, doing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and in my case also taking medication to finally getting rid myself from it. I will warn that once this symptom finally goes away, something else might crop up.

Though, I'll say this, nothing is going to happen to your girlfriend. Rest assure.  

Sounds like your GP has had done everything in their power to appease and help ease your mind. Go see a Therapist. At my worst I was at my GP 1-2x/month thinking I had everything imaginable (Cancer, ALS, MS, etc). Looking back I'm embarrassed of myself and can't imagine what I sounded like when I was in his office. He finally referred me to a Therapist and I thank him for it. I take Lexipro at night. Xanax when needed ( over 2 months without needing it) and only see my GP 1x/year for annual bloodwork and physical. You're not alone. We can emphasize with you but you have to walk through the darkness and into the light yourself. You can do this!

Yo I went through the same thing two years ago. I had the urge to hurt my coworkers, drive my car into oncoming traffic, it was horrible. I ended up riding it out and suffering through it. When my anxiety/stress is really high it starts to happen again. It’s horrifying and makes you demonize yourself and make you seem like you’re something you’re not. 

Often, those with high empathy or kind people suffer the worst from these thoughts. I read it’s a lot of our brain, in it’s panicked state, trying to process horrible things it can’t comprehend.  Just remember, you are not those thoughts. It was just a fleeting moment, not an action and not you. 

Your best bet is to talk to a therapist, that helped me so much. Try and take medication if you aren’t already. Always remember you are NOT your thoughts, that these are just thoughts. 

Check out obsessive thoughts and OCD. I was diagnosed with that after the breakdown I had. Intrusive thoughts is linked to OCD—take a moment and talk to a professional and see if they can help. 

Can I enquire of you if you are taking any medication?