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My anxiety is completely out of control

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abby82797
abby82797

Anxiety has completely taken over my life once again. My anxiety began in 8th grade, out of nowhere I started to have horrible panic attacks. My heart would race out of control, horrible shortness of breath, couldnt catch my breath, shaking etc. I was not on medication back then, but slowly it just seemed to stop all together. Then during the winter of my senior year of high school my anxiety slowly began to creep back into my life, again for no apparent reason. I began taking zoloft and after a couple of months it disappeared again. It's now the winter of my freshman year of college and as soon as I thought I was all over with this it came back for the THIRD time. Now it is worse than ever and I can not seem to get a grip on it. My life feels like it is spiraling out of control and my anxiety is taking over. I have physical symptoms 24/7 constanlty searching for that deep breath that will make me feel like I can breath, but if i cant find it then my heart starts to race I start to panic. I am scared to even leave my house because I know as soon as I do I will begin to have a full on panic attack. I can be sitting in my bed and I'll just begin having a random full on panic attack. I absolutely cannot deal with this anymore especially now that I am in college. I started on Clonapane (0.5 mg) and it had absolutely no affect on me, so I stopped and then my doctor prescribed me with escitalopram (10 mg). I have been taking it for about a week and a half now and I see no signs of improvement whatsoever with my anxiety. (btw the reason I stopped taking zoloft is because it gave me horrible migraines even though it seemed to take away my anxiety). I truly feel lost and trapped with no where to turn at this point. I know anxiety will be something I have to deal with for the rest of my life, but I just cant handle it coming back in bouts like this worse and worse. I feel like since this is my third time around I should know how to control my negative thoughts and feelings by now, but I still don't. Anxiety wins every time and I feel so defeated. I know it is all in my head and need to learn to calm the negative thoughts, but I just can't seem to stop them. It sucks because I can't even talk to my friends or family about it. They sympathize with me, but they'll never be able to fully relate because they have never actually had anxiety disorder. My parents don't think it's serious and they think it's silly/all in my head. I am so beyond frustrated I do not know what to do. Having an anxiety attack is the absolute worst feeling in the entire world and I would not wish anxiety disorder upon anyone. I just feel so sad and confused at this point. Can anyone suggest any other medications that you think may help me in my case? Thank you. 

0 likes, 3 replies

3 Replies

  • Howll
    Howll abby82797

    Posted

    I'm exactly the same, you could be suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder since it seems to flare up in the winter. I don't take medication because of the risks to another condition I have. I try and practice mindfulness, meditation and breathing exercises. I try also to do things to take my mind off it, it seems worse when I've got time alone to think about it.
    • abby82797
      abby82797 Howll

      Posted

      Yeah my doctor pointed out that it always seems to come back during the winter for some reason. But yeah I completely agree, when I am home alone it is all I can think about. I am praying that once I get back to school I wont be focused on it as much. 
  • ronnie27968
    ronnie27968 abby82797

    Posted

    Hey Abby,

    My anxiety also started this year, a few months ago.

    I wanted to tell you that the fact that you feel like no one in your family understands you is not entirely true.

    It's true that they haven't been what you have been through but it's not true that they can't understand that you are going through something hard.

    I promise you you will be okay.

    I also don't take meds, never have, I just do the usual stuff like meditation and therapy..

    I am getting better in time and so will yousmile

    Good luck and wish you the best!!

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