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My anxiety is getting hard to deal with

Posted , 4 users are following.

celeste82615
celeste82615

I've had issues with anxiety my whole life (I just recently turned 20) I don't really have any particular triggers, though there are some things that will affect me more than others but sometimes I'm perfectly fine. Stuff like social situations, busy stores or restaurants, talking to a cashier or waiter, crowds can bother me to the point of a panic attack but other times I'm perfectly okay. Recently on my birthday I went out to eat and was sat in the middle of a dining area that was completely full and very loud and crowded. The waiter started trying to talk to me and my dad was joking about having them sing happy birthday to me. I was a little uncomfortable but okay until I took a sip of my drink when for some reason the thought went into my head that someone could have drugged it and I literally panicked - I got dizzy and everything got fuzzy, my tongue felt numb and I felt like I couldn't move. It only lasted for about 1-2 minutes and I excused myself to go to the bathroom to calm down. I was a little shaky the rest of the day but overall okay.

I do however have severe hypochondria. I constantly convince myself or worry that I have some disease or disorder. I've worried about having a stroke, a heart attack, a seizure, a blood clot, having a neuro degenerative disease, carpal tunnel, kidney problems, brain tumors, cancer. I've developed a habit of checking my pulse constantly throughout the day to see if it's abnormal. I'll also wiggle my fingers and shake out my hands to make sure I can still move them properly. When I'm having anxiety there's a random mixing pool of symptoms I experience - sometimes my heart races or i feel pressure, sometimes my throat and chest feel like they're being squeezed, sometimes I start to hyperventilate, sometimes it feels like there's pressure in my head and neck, sometimes i feel like im going to lose feeling in my limbs and fingers and not be able to move them anymore (one of my biggest fears), sometimes i just feel slightly disconnected or like things aren't really real (even though I KNOW they are). One of several of these things is generally paired with that electric shock feeling of adrenaline and just overall panic. (Btw, I have had my heart tested in high school I wore a monitor for 3 days and even though I had episodes/panic attacks where I thought I must be having a heart attack or something nothing irregular was found besides that my heart beat faster during those times) I also worry about health things constantly - recently our town water supply reported slightly higher numbers of coliforms and I almost had a panic attack in the gas station hearing about it because I had drank the water that day and was terrified, I'm also very scared old buildings will have absestos so I don't like going in them, or I'll feel panicked the whole time that I do and my mind convinces me I'm having trouble breathing. I'm worried that when I get heartburn I'm going to end up ruining my throat or burning a hole in it or something. The list pretty much goes on and on.

It's affected my sleeping occasionally too. Right before I fall asleep my body will jump and I'll be shocked awake like my heart just beat really strongly. I usually gasp and sit up and breathe heavily for a few seconds before trying to fall asleep again. If it happens several times I'm forced to turn on a show to distract me while I fall asleep, somehow having the noise/dialogue to focus on relaxes me enough to do so.

I have seen a counselor before, but I don't feel like it helped. She was nice enough to talk to but I stopped going after she started to try to force medicine on me (I already expressed that I'd like to explore options without that and other ways of dealing with it, plus I'm very scared of side-effects and I hate swallowing pills and taking medicine) I'm not really sure what to do at this point.. I feel like I could deal with things better but I have no idea how to start to do that.

2 likes, 5 replies

5 Replies

  • elis60746
    elis60746 celeste82615

    Posted

    Hi,I just want you to know that youre not alone. I am a hypochondriac too. My health anxiety was triggered when i lost my dad almost 3yrs ago.. it was a traumatic experience for me that led my panic attacks... We have the same exact thoughts and symptoms. And when i mean exact, i mean literally. Except for the social anxiety. What i have are mostly health anxiety only.. I also had some point in my struggle with anxiety that somehow things werent real but i know they are and it was scary. That is called derealization or depersonalization and it's completely normal to people like us with anxiety. It's a result of being so overly attached to reality, so your brain shuts down your emotions thats why you think very deep up to the point that you feel the things around you arent real. It's just the way your body protects itself from harm.. my anxiety attacks are full blown during PMS and on my period cause hormones can make your anxiety and everything worse. How about you? Whenever you need anyone to talk to, i'm quite always online. So i'm just a message away. Take care!
  • Rahb01
    Rahb01 celeste82615

    Posted

    Hi

    Dont worry relax.

    Its normal to over think when you ahve anxiety.

    Me too,have been having anxiety over my health especially heart health after my first panic attack 5 mths back.

    Ever since then,life has never been the same again.

    But i realise how ridiculous it is to keep expecting reassurance from family members and docs and spending money on unneccesary tests.

    So now even if i feel the physical symptoms,which can be present even when you are not in a panic state or have racing or negative thoughts,i convinced myself that i am 23,young and healthy.

    The reason we have age is to tell us how capable we are to do what we are suppose to do.

    When you're young,thats when you are strong and healthy to do good things and enjoy and build your own family and stuff.

    When you're then you will need help.

    So now you're young,you are bound to be healthy and achieve

    Dont let the whispers of the decil deceive you and take your life away from you.

    I dont know about you but i am a big believer in god so i pray to stregthen my heart.

    So far it has helped me alot.

    Nowadays i have started to be normal again.

    I have started eating and going out and having good sleep.

    Trust me everything will be fine.

    Just believe you're young and healthy.

  • XxaimxX
    XxaimxX celeste82615

    Posted

    Firstly you need to accept that this is JUST ANXIETY, then you can learn to deal with it. Your story pretty much sums mine up! When you feel weird while out don't run away to the bathroom stay there and think come on give me your worst I can do this and take deep breathes nice and slowly to calm yourself down, maybe at first you stay for a few minutes then have to go to he bet groom but try and get through it as much as possible because if you have to leave the situation you won't find ways to deal with it. I know it's hard I've been there but telling someone so they know how you feel helps because they will talk to you and tell you your ok and it makes you feel a little better! The thing with anxiety you have to tackle it with all your force to get through it it will be hard at first but you'll soon stop having so many episodes and be able to deal with them when they happen. Nothing bad will happen it's just adrenaline making you this way. I hope you find ways to get through this I did so I know you can too!! If you need to talk just message me anytime x
    • elis60746
      elis60746 XxaimxX

      Posted

      Hi, reading your comment has given me hope that someday i will be able to manage my anxiety. I started having panic attacks last november 2013. So it has been 2years of struggle. Where can i reach you aside from this site so we can communicate easier? Thank you so much
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