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Ok, so I was always that kind of super-social, positive and loved-by-everyone kind of kid, but I had to live with a depressive and anxious, always angry mom(because of hypothyroidism) and verbally abusive dad. When I was in 3rd grade I started to gain a lot of weight , always felt exhausted and couldn't concentrate on anything and after seeing 4 doctor I found out I had hypothyroidism too than everything got apart : I turned into a little monster, always trying to keep calm and try not to become like my mother. I was always more of a bipolar kind of girl than depressed, crying my heart out and laughing my ass off after 3 hours, than crying my heart off again and so on. The problem is that I keep seeing my mom in me... not in my behaviour, but literally in... me as years pass by. I overract just like her, I'm always feeling that I am the victim etc, etc. I can't have a normal relationship with nearly anybody, because in some way I feel that I'm fooled or lied to and get in a fight. Every friend that I have ever had left me because of my overreactions, maybe forgetting about my hypo and family history. And so, starting with the 3rd grade I'm always crying, always sad/ euphoric, I have no energy at all or confidence in anybody . I lost weight through time, but my problems are my physical and mental health. My question is : how can you live with this awful disease? Could I ever stop it from ruining my life? I can't live like this.
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