my awful 20s having hypothyroidism

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Ok, so I was always that kind of super-social, positive and loved-by-everyone kind of kid, but I had to live with a depressive and anxious, always angry mom(because of hypothyroidism) and verbally abusive dad. When I was in 3rd grade I started to gain a lot of weight , always felt exhausted and couldn't concentrate on anything and after seeing 4 doctor I found out I had hypothyroidism too than everything got apart : I turned into a little monster, always trying to keep calm and try not to become like my mother. I was always more of a bipolar kind of girl than depressed, crying my heart out and laughing my ass off after 3 hours, than crying my heart off again and so on. The problem is that I keep seeing my mom in me... not in my behaviour, but literally in... me as years pass by. I overract just like her, I'm always feeling that I am the victim etc, etc. I can't have a normal relationship with nearly anybody, because in some way I feel that I'm fooled or lied to and get in a fight. Every friend that I have ever had left me because of my overreactions, maybe forgetting about my hypo and family history. And so, starting with the 3rd grade I'm always crying, always sad/ euphoric, I have no energy at all or confidence in anybody . I lost weight through time, but my problems are my physical and mental health. My question is : how can you live with this awful disease? Could I ever stop it from ruining my life? I can't live like this. 

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  • Posted

    I am sorry you are going through this.  It really is an awful way to live.  I know.. as I am going through the same thing.  I have severe anxiety over everything .. especially social anxiety.  I also get very irritated over everything.  I feel like in going to snap over the little things, but like you.. I don't, I try to hide it and the way I'm feeling because I don't want to come across as the monster your talking about.  I also have been suffering depression and have lost all interest in everything.  I'm afraid I can't be much help on how to deal with these awful feeling, as I am trying to figure it out myself.  I just wanted to let you know that your not alone.  Sometimes that's a comfort in itself.  I can tell you that I take a magnesium drink called NatureCalm and it at least makes it more tolerable.  Best wishes...

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    • Posted

      It's a scary thing to feel all alone and that friends and family don't understand what your going through and how your feeling.  Perhaps you can google some articles and print them out on hypothyroidism causing depression, anxiety, irrability and other mood disorders.  That may help them to understand what your dealing with on an everyday basis.  I hope it will help anyway.  If they can get some knowledge on this awful disease, then hopefully they will then understand and be more sympathetic.

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    • Posted

      It's a scary thing to feel all alone and that friends and family don't understand what your going through and how your feeling.  Perhaps you can google some articles and print them out on hypothyroidism causing depression, anxiety, irrability and other mood disorders.  That may help them to understand what your dealing with on an everyday basis.  I hope it will help anyway.  If they can get some knowledge on this awful disease, then hopefully they will then understand and be more sympathetic.

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  • Posted

    Mariacristina ....  your not the only one who suffers this way ., there are many people on here who will understand the way you feel ... it's awful that you seem to have no one to turn to for help as your poor Mother seems to have her own health issues...   but you must learn who your enemy is !

    whatever it is that is making your thyroid behave in this way  !

    Learn all you can ...  maybe your Mother was not able to do this for various reasons but you can now help her and yourself to come to terms with this situation.       I have Graves' disease .. which is Hyperthyroidism ... but many of the symptoms are the same .. and the ones that you describe are common to us both ..   stay with this website and on this forum for Hypothyroid sufferers ..ask lots of questions from those who have learned to control it and some who have not yet ..I was desperately ill when I joined this site and I am now normal ...  and you could be too if you learn all you can ..   Google  Hpothyroidism and supplements  ..... because there are several that will help you , namely B1  B Complex  and  B12   for energy

    magnesium to help you sleep   D3 ,  Zinc and Copper and many others ..

    insist that your Dr. test your bloods for Hypothyroidism .. come back on here and post your results and good  people will give you great advice !

    and very soon you and your Mother can become well again..

    I wish you good health for the future ...  be strong and learn all you can

    Luv Mx🌹

     

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  • Posted

    Sorry you feel this way it is very tough. I have had to come to an acceptance that life is very different now and isn't going the way I thought it would. I've been to doctors and specialists for eight years and they have tried so many tests, changing doses, changing medication, diet etc (you name it I've tried it). I used to put my energy into finding a way to cure the symptoms and feel better but both my doctor and specialist don't see anything else left they can try so now I have to accept my limitations. It's taken a long time to accept that and I still don't fully accept it as I used to be a really active, positive person and full of ambition and zest for life. And by the way, accepting things are the way they are doesn't mean you have given up and I try not to let this illness hold me back in the things that really matter. When things get bad I try and think about all the things that are going right that day or just in life in general. I really feel for you and you are not the only one who feels like this with no idea how to get better. It's tough but you will be ok and I'm sure you are stronger than you think

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  • Posted

    Thank you for your kind words, I really appreciate them. As my bad moods just come and go, I could say that the only thing I feel it's helping me it's meditation. I could only hope for the best, for me and every little other beatiful soul which suffers from this...

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  • Posted

    Mariacristina,

    it's really a rude awakening when you realize that you've inherited the very thing that made your parents lives difficult (in your case your mom, in mine, primarily my dad.)  I, too was a very happy bright A-student with much potential.  Loved people..etc.  My problems started when I started puberty (age 11).  I became agoraphobic, although no one knew what it was at the time, I was just getting sick and didn't want to go anywhere (for me, that was mainly school).  It took me until I was in my 40's to realize I had the same disease that put my dad on disability years earlier. I also had horrible periods all my life and ended up with a hysterectomy at age 42 (complete)...so therefore I have no ovaries/female haromones.   THEN my bloodwork started coming back not only hypothyroid but prediabetic (I'm now officially diagnosed as a diabetic).  I've got Generalized Anxiety Disorder with tendencies toward depression, plus all of the harmonal (female, thyroid and diabetes) issues.  I'm a royal mess! lol.

    Somehow I manage to go to work for 8 hours a day and get done what I must get done at home but when I say that the combination of anxiety, depression, fatigue and all of the other goodies that go with my various conditions has taken a toll on my quality of life and my ability to succeed (I never completed a college degree and my income is low) it's an understatement.  

    Just the realization that I ended up pretty much where my dad was (except that I'm not on disability--yet) is a harsh one.  I never in my wildest dreams imagined that this is where I was heading.  Don't get me wrong, I have some very good things in my life but I have a hard time not comparing what I've been capable of to what I WOULD have been capable of without these issues or at least with proper treatment early on. 

    But c'est la vie and this is where I am and I'm working very hard at focusing on the good in my life and not the shortcomings.  As my therapist told me "you have no idea where you'd be if you didn't have these issues to contend with...many factors contribute to life experiences"  So I remind myself of that and frequently express GRATITUDE for the wonderful things that ARE in my life.  I also take Armor Thyroid, Magesium supplements Biotin and Apple Cider Vinegar.  EXERCISE is very important although folks like us struggle to have the energy, but FORCE yourself.

    I wish you well.  I know my post seemed all negative but it's not.  It's what I'm dealing with but I remind myself that the fact that I do as well as I do is a testament to my inner strength.

    Bless you.  Keep me posted and if you need someone to chat with and encourage you look me up on fb and send me a friend request. 

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    • Posted

      Your words made my heart melt and I had a pretty rough day. Everything' s quite fine now, it depends very much on my diet and how much I want to stay happy,  but I'm still trying to stop the feeling of anger and victimisation then guiltiness and so on. It makes my brain and soul hurt so much.I just can't control them, I'm lucky I have my patient and lovely boyfriend ..I don't know what's next, I just hope it will be better. 

      Take care! warm hugs

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    • Posted

      I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling some better now and that you have someone by your side for support.

      You take care, too and remember, I'm available if you ever need an understanding 'ear'.

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