1. Community
  2. Mental health
  3. Bipolar Affective Disorder

My bf is bipolar and i think he is on a cycle, I need help

Posted , 5 users are following.

teeny83
teeny83

First of all I am totally new to all this and have no idea what I should be saying or doing. My bf has been very honest with me about his bipolar, he also has OCD. I think he has been on a cycle twice before now since we have been together but I am unsure. He doesn't take any meds and as far as I am aware doesn't self medicate with alcochol or recreational drugs. He told me he has learned to control his thoughts etc and that is how he deals with it. This weekend though he has flipped from telling me how much  he loves me and we were having conversations, very light hearted, about moving in together, to sending me a text telling me to F*** Off and go back to one of my ex's that he doesn't trust me and never will. I have given him no reason not to trust me and am not willing to give up on us. In my replies, as he won't actually talk it is only text messages, I have told him I don't believe this is what he really wants and that I won't give up this easy. I just feel like he is trying everything to push me away. About 2 months ago almost exactly the same thing happened and I persevered with it. When he eventually agreed to talk to me a couple of times we worked things out and everything went back to normal. I don't want to push him but when I have suggested it might be a cycle he is adamant its not. I just don't know what else to do. I really do love him and I want to be with him and to help and support him. Any advice would be so much help to me. Thanks 

0 likes, 6 replies

6 Replies

  • justbeingme2
    justbeingme2 teeny83

    Posted

    Hi! I don't know if my quick story will help but I hope you can get your bf to see you care. I was with someone I loved immensely. Deeply in love with him. I am bipolar and take meds for it (Lithium). When I was dating him, I thought he was cheating. I had been hurt by many people who were suppose to love and protect me. I felt it was a matter of time before he would do the same. I was not taking my meds and was paranoid. To top it off, an acquaintance of his told me I was one of many. I'd always been told that every lie has some truth to it. I would tell him to f... off and then beg him to take me back. See, I was in love and never loved anyone so much. I was scared he would hurt me too. I was afraid I wouldn't survive it. We are no longer together. I succeeded in pushing him away. I ended up hurting him. I have been on my meds since our breakup and go to therapy. I realize now that the only way I was going to allow someone in was to get on meds and therapy to talk about who, what, when, how, and why I had no trust for anyone. I believe it is the only way your bf will get well and see that you love him. He has to want to and when you are bipolar and off meds, It's difficult to see clearly. You may have to let go. I still talk to my ex by email. I don't have his phone number and I'm glad I didn't. I have gotten used to our way of communicating and have resolved myself to a loss with a huge lesson learned. Be his friend first and tell him he needs help. Moving in together without him treating his bipolar may not be a good idea in my opinion. Wish you the best!
  • emily44759
    emily44759 teeny83

    Posted

    Hi,

    I'm really sorry to hear that your having these issues, it must be especially hard if you love someone. However I will be honest he really needs to get to a doctor or your relationship will end up falling apart anyway. I'm sorry if that sounds a bit harsh but he really needs to know that he needs help.

  • lynne05476
    lynne05476 teeny83

    Posted

    Hi ,I have been with my husband for 26yrs and 25 of those with me  not diagnosed.I put him through hell a lot of the time but in my defence Bi-polar is such a complex condition to diagnose  the person has to have unbelievable insight and have the strength to seek medical help.Medication has changed me and all of my familys lives in a good way and i really wish i'd had intervention at an earlier age.My husband said he always knew something wasn't right with me but he stuck with me,read as much as you can about the condition,bi-polar uk,mind ,lots of luck to you
    • justbeingme2
      justbeingme2 lynne05476

      Posted

      It sounds like you have an amazing husband! I love hearing stories like yours. It reiterates that all of my efforts are not in vain. The future is so exciting now! I learn everyday! One day a lucky guy is going to get me :-). Keep sharing! Thank you
  • teeny83
    teeny83

    Posted

    An update.........I have been talking with my bday he's still adamant he's not on a cycle and I'm actually beginning to believe that. he told me tonight that he has checked my fb activity logs and that he knows I'm in contact with ex's. I now understand where the distrust is as I had searched a couple of their profiles but I haven't been in contact. I'm angry with him he shouldn't be logging into my accounts and checking up on me but at the same time I am starting to see why he's done it. I need to get him to trust me that I'm not lying. Any advice or am I now fighting a lost cause? I love him so much I cant explain it and I know he still loves me. Sorry for going on I'm just hating myself right now for being silly enough to even think about an ex.
  • Joeblogs95
    Joeblogs95 teeny83

    Posted

    Hi

    im 18 years old and havve bipolar disorder. I go through similar situations with my girlfriend, what it sounds like is like he is having an episode and what i have learnt best is to have a time out and give him time to calm down (works for me) i wasnt taking medication for my bipolar at first but realized that it does actually work, obviously i know it is his discrestion if he takes meds or not but tell him to speak to his gp about his symptoms atleast they have a record of it and can take appropriate action if nescecary. I think an episode should be reported imediatley if it esculated to where it puts you, him or anyone else in danger.

    I hope you get everything sorted biggrin

Back to top

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the community to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the community are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the community is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.