My bipolar ex-husband is coming out of jail
Posted , 3 users are following.
My ex-husband has been in and out of jail since he was 16, I didn't know this before I married him, he told me he got "in trouble" when he was younger, I figured it was something minor or a DUI. I found him doing Ketamine one day, and he told me the truth about all the deep issues he has, big drug addiction, chronic depression, was in jail for 3 years, anxiety and he is also bipolar, and choses not to take medication for it. I was only 23 and I freaked out, filed for divorce and left him, but we haven't been able to leave each other alone completely. I gave him another chance, he wasn't able to get clean so I haven't been romantically with him for over 3 years now, however we do talk on the phone an email. In those 3 years that I left him, he went back to jail 3 times. The last time for 9 months, and he is terrified of facing reality, after 2 years of not talking with each other at all, I wrote him a letter to let him I forgave him and I understood a little bit more about his issues now that I'm older, and that I've done research about it. He is coming out of jail on Friday and I really want to help him, I make 70k a year, he lives with his mom so I'm not concerned about getting him a job, car, phone place to stay and things like that, I am very concerned about his bipolarity, depression and anxiety. I want to make his adapting process as comfortable as possible. So I know that restaurants, crouded places, bringing negative things from the past, and things like should be avoid. Is there anything else that I can do to make him feel comfortable? I feel like everyone is focused on adpating financially after a prisioner comes out, but he has some real mental illnesses, and I know he can't do it on his own, and he will end up going back in no time if he is not in the right enviroment, ANY advice would be very appreciated it, so if someone out here with anxiety, drepression and bipolarity came out of jail, what do you think you wished you had? what would have made your mental adaptation easier when you came out of jail? or what would you have liked to do when you came out?
Thnak you so much!
0 likes, 2 replies
BraunWynn kay8827
Posted
You obviously care for him and are willing to take care of him. I have had bipolar one since I was sixteen and I am familiar with addiction. I have been sober for years however please understand my soberity and mental health recovery comes from being medication compliant. Trust me when I say this. Many addicts I know have some sort of mental health issue and if they go off their meds or do not take them, I can promise you he will end up in jail and soberity will not be successful. I know your heart is in the right place however he needs a treatment center bed first and then to follow a medication treatment plan.
Pending on the crimes and time he has done to date, the courts can enforce medication compliance. I wasnt diagnosed until I was 49. Misdiagnosed etc, up until last year. My daughter suffered horribly because I was a undiagnosed bipolar. Believe me when I tell you it is hell and with addictions and a life known in the criminal justice system; I would kindly and strongly suggest he recieves treatment for his bipolar and addictions before he resides with you. Find out his parole officers name and talk to him or her as well, If that is possible.
Take care of yourself , stay safe.
su1977 kay8827
Posted
Hi Kay, I've never been in jail but I do have bipolar, anxiety and depression. The truth is, you can make the most beautiful and cozy home for him but until he addresses and treats his conditions, nothing will matter. I have a lovely home, a wonderful husband, a cute dog, supportive friends and family, and a job I love, but when I'm having a panic attack or a bipolar episode, I don't think of all these wonderful things surrounding me. I think of how I can make it all stop. I am seeking help and it is slowly getting better so if you really want to help him, convince him to get treatment. He will not feel better until he does. Nothing else will matter until he does. Good luck to you. You seem like a very caring friend. He's lucky to have you.