My boyfriend didn't turn up for my first doctors appointment.. feel unloved

Posted , 3 users are following.

I've been feeling depressed for 4 years and finally booked a doctors appointment. I asked my boyfriend if he would accompany me because I was so nervous. I mentioned it several times in the past week and text him before asking what time I should pick him up from the train station. He didn't text back or answer my calls , and I had to go without him. He text me in there saying sorry he forgot and that his phone had broke. 

Whilst in the doctors I basically had a breakdown, and reeled everything off. The doctor was lovely, referred me for CBT and took some blood tests. She told me to think about whether I'd like to take medication. 

When I came out I felt awful after crying, rang him and asked to come over because I felt so bad. He said his friend was coming over and he had to draw some money out for him ( money for weed probably) and I could come up later. I said okay. He rang back asking if tomorrow was okay instead (probably because they're going to spend the night smoking the weed they've just bought) and he'd treat me to dinner. I told him to forget it and he angrily said I was biting his head off and it was just a suggestion. He never once asked how the appointment had been and if i was okay. He's even just text me how he's sorry but he's had a rough day because he's had deadlines at work etc..I've been struggling to cope with life for the past month. Every doctors appointment he's asked me to go to I've been there, giving him a lifts early in the morning. 

I feel so unloved and unsupported. I feel like I should be happier I've finally had the strength to move forward but he's just brought me down so much. Any kind words please. 

1 like, 4 replies

Report / Delete

4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hello Char!

    You sound like the mature one in the relationship. Sadly, your BF...maybe not so much! Please don't base your happiness on how someone else treats you. You have to take responsibility for your own happiness. I know you are going through a rough time so it makes it harder to be strong but try to dredge up strength from within. Your BF;s insensitivity is incredible...and it sounds like you are more invested in the relationship than he is. He is more interested in his weed than in how you are feeling. I say, Dump the Bas....! There are plenty of fish in the sea who would treat you a whole lot better. 

    Get well and be strong, Char!


    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    Hi Char,

    Your boyfriend certainly dosen't seem to be very caring! and you do deserve better.

    I think you need to talk to your boyfriend, tell him exactly what you said here, and see what he says.

    I hope you get the support and help you need from your gp, and others that love and care for you.

    Take care x


    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    this is in no way an excuse for his uncaring behaviour but some people do find it very hard to cope when other people are unwell and the more that is expected or asked of them then the more they 'hide' away. (have you read men are from mars and women are from venus?)

    you have to get yourself in a better place for yourself and not for him. concentrate on yourself now and deal with his behaviour when you are stronger. you come first. it is not easy when the person you want support from is not there for you, but it may make you stronger in yourself at the end.


    Report / Delete Reply
  • Posted

    My god char, been through so much myself i Saïd i would not reply to à post i could not connect or relate to, i,m "not happy" but able to reply to you. I dont know you angel, you, by your words seem like à lovelly young girl who expects/deserves to be treated with respect. I can relate to your partner and in thé past took thé hiiiii life, been Amsterdam many times in m'y youth Abd frequented thé coffee shops where no coffee was served. Anyhoo, as a man and many years of expérience under m'y belt, i feel confident in saying, your felleh is either going through turmoil of his own and disguising in a fog of friendship, peter Gabriel, and his accointances and denying his love for you, be it bravado or thé réal thing. Moral of thé story angel is are you worth more? If you feel like your partner is taking thé piddle hé probably is, à lot of men do. You need to take time out and think? Could i do better? Ive been à lot of things angel but i e never been à Woman, what i know is à Woman often undervalues herself. You are thé one with thé strengh, you stand uk to your Man and hé will crumble, easy for a Man ti cheat on his Woman but if à Woman has à cup of coffee with à friend its out of order. M'y angel you seen young And naïve and therefore no o e could direct your course im life, in m'y expérience being à man, if you believe in yourself and throw down thé gauntlett, you will soon find out tour Mans worth Abd hé will réalisé his mistake. Your own self worth is what you want to uncover angel, its not should you our up with his antics its d'i you have to? Thé answer is no if he wants you to be his dormatt. Sorry, just m'y opinion, i may be wrong and i wish you well.
    Report / Delete Reply

Join this discussion or start a new one?

New discussion Reply

Report or request deletion

Thanks for your help!

We want the forums to be a useful resource for our users but it is important to remember that the forums are not moderated or reviewed by doctors and so you should not rely on opinions or advice given by other users in respect of any healthcare matters. Always speak to your doctor before acting and in cases of emergency seek appropriate medical assistance immediately. Use of the forums is subject to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy and steps will be taken to remove posts identified as being in breach of those terms.

newnav-down newnav-up