My boyfriend doesn't understand my mental health
Posted , 3 users are following.
I have anxiety disorder and panic attacks and i usually like to talk about those things, it makes me feel better. I have been in a relationship for 3 months and I know it's not a pleasant subject, but i want to be open to him. But whenever i tell him "I'm sorry I'm being werid today, I am really anxious" or "I just had a panic attack" his response is so unempathetic, he says something like "be positive, at least you have a hot boyfriend" or he kisses me once and tells me that everything is ok now. He can't understand the fact that some people need pills to stay in control or therapy but he should be the one that brings me comfort, but i feel like he just doesn't care about my mental state and this is a very important part of my life.
2 likes, 2 replies
callum151100 ioana89377
Posted
The thing is, mental health is awkward for people who don't understand. They're scared to offend or upset people who suffer. They see us as unstable, potentially angry, people that need treading thinly around. That's not the case. You need to be open about what you suffer with (explain in detail) and what it is that you need from him during your low periods. By the sounds of it, he is almost hiding away from the situation by joking about 'at least you have a hot boyfriend' which isn't all that uncommon. You've got to remember that if he ever witnesses you having a panic attack, it will be very scary for him as he'll see you struggling for breath, unaware of your surroundings and completely entranced in the moment of panic. For someone who doesn't understand, that's a lot to take in. What's best is to educate him - while you're in an okay state - about your issues so that he's better prepared to react to, and understand, them. Trust me, it's not that he doesn't care, it's that he cares too much that he'll say the wrong things.
hypercat ioana89377
Posted
Hi I agree with callum. Just because he doesn't understand mental health issues doesn't mean that he doesn't love and care about you - it just means he doesn't understand.
You have only known him for a short time and I wonder why you have the need to keep talking about your mental health with him? What do you expect him to do with the knowledge? Feel sorry for you? Understand you? Prove his devotion to you? The most important thing is do you feel better and healthier in his company. Does he enable you to stop thinking about your mental health for a while? If the answer is yes you might find it improving without the need for to keep talking about your feelings. x