My boyfriend has depression, what can I do?
Posted , 3 users are following.
Hi, my boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years but we're 20 and still live with our parents separately. He's always have sort of minor depression but in the last year it's gotten incredibly bad and he dropped out of uni as he wasn't doing well.
He's been on a couple of different types of anti depressants for the last 3 months but they haven't helped, one of them actually made it worse. He's on the waiting list for counseling but there's a wait time of about 4-5 months from now.
I help him sort of short term, I'm support him and don't pressure him and I'm there for him and I do as much as I can to cheer him up and make him smile day to day. But he's 20 and has no money, he needs to either go back to uni or get a job and think about his future. Of course this is hard for him but his parents really pressure him into it and are horrible about it, so I want to help him get away from that environment. He's apathetic and doesn't know what he wants and can't really get the effort to find out what he wants.
I feel a bit lost, I want to help him but I also don't want to pressure him. Has anyone else been in this situation, on his side or mine? Can you give me any advice?
1 like, 8 replies
black_sheep_pete harriet133
Posted
Guest harriet133
Posted
Did he make a mistake when he set his chosen path in uni? It seems that there might be something at uni that has really got him down. Are you also at uni?
Clearly from what you say his parents do not understand. They probably think he is shirking and have never encountered depression. You could help by finding one or two of those pamphlets usually available in surgeries or pharmacies and giving them to his parents, and do it while your boyfriend is not around but do not challenge them. If you see a TV programme dealing with depression, anxiety or worse make a suggestion that all of them watch it.
There is not much you can do other than what you are already doing. Depression is not an easy condition to treat. The patient needs help to lift him/her out of the worst bit so that they can fight it. It cannot be cured like say a virus because it all depends upon strength and positive thinking. The patient will either fight back with the help of the meds or the meds are not the right ones. The meds do not make it worse but they do have side effects in some cases. Therefore a change is important.
In this case it may be fluoxetine (Prozac) that will be good for him. That is good for changing moods and enabling the patient to feel an uplift. But based just on the bit of info above finding the cause is impossible. That is what is needed - find the root cause.
black_sheep_pete Guest
Posted
Guest black_sheep_pete
Posted
stinker22 black_sheep_pete
Posted
black_sheep_pete stinker22
Posted
It sounds like you are well on the way to “recovery” I wish you well.
stinker22 harriet133
Posted
I was in the same situation as your boyfriend - dropped out of uni, didn't know what I wanted to do etc but didn't have someone like you to be there for me! Sadly I didn't recognise I had depression until nearly 30 years later! What a waste! Anyhow, the best advice I can give is to try and get your boyfriend to get professional help and stick with it. Whatever it is that is causing him to be this way its best to face it and deal with it. It could be simple or it could be complex but do what you feel you can to help him get help so he doesn't do what I did and not make the most of life. It's only these last few months that I've realised I've had depression for so long - I'm now at last on some medication and hope it helps me.
Best
Jezzer
richard89308 harriet133
Posted
All the best
richard