My boyfriend has depression, will he feel for me again?

Hi, I think there must be 2 problems in his life. 1 -  Mantel stress and he may want to move ahead without considering you. 2 - He must be going through physical problems like B12 deficiency. I also had same problem where I was feeling the same. no talking with anyone, angriness, bad mood and I was in condition of losing the job because of less concentration from my end. B12 deficiency makes man too dull and he would not be able to close and task with maximum inputs. they will take everting lightly and let it go attitude.

Now you need to understand the real problem and plan your things accordingly. If he is ready get his blood check for B12 level.

Hi Chloe. It has to be very painful to have been in such a good relationship one day and the next he wants out. I am sorry for your pain and grief.  I would think you might be a little shocked. 

Have you ever done any journaling..writing each day..I have done that for nearly 40 years. The reason that I bring this up is that when I write I see things more clearly what I think what I feel. I'm wondering if before it seems he changed so drastically there might have been a few little red flags?? I have no idea. 

I know that you are hurting but what can you do about him or the relationship. Nothing as I see it. You said he can work on him and you can work on you. That's my hope for you. I would spend all the time now working on you. Go out with friends and family. Exercise do your hobbies and anything that you love but put it down while in the relationship like lots of us do and reconnect with you. I hope something that I have said helps. Diane

Hi the only thing which struck me is that when I was depressed there was no way I could have coped with going abroad to take on a new job.  I am wondering if this is more about him wanting to move on rather than his depression?  I hope I am wrong.  x

Hi Chloe. Hypercat is a smart person often hearing what one says and what they don't say. That is a good point that she made. Diane

Hi Chloe,

I am sorry to reply to your post so late but I went through something very similar about 5 weeks ago.  I was with someone who meant the world to me, he had become my best friend and my boyfriend in a few short months.  I adored him.  We went from having a future in one instant to him telling me we needed to take a break in the next.  He also said he was suffering from extreme depression and anxiety.  There were factors in his life that I could absolutely see contributing to this.  However,  there were also signs I didn’t want to acknowledge which indicates he wanted to move on from me.  They were much too painful in those first few weeks.  The rejection and abandonment I felt by the cold, distant stranger he had become were almost indescribable.  I would like to hear how your story turned out.  I would be happy to tell you more about mine as well.  I’m in a much better place today and I’m hoping you are too.  It will be okay!!! 

Hi Everyone, 

Thank you all for your support, I apologise for my lack of response, shortly after I posted my first entry I decided it would be best to concentrate on me rather than my relationship.

I feel a lot has happened in this past month, my bf came back from his month away during which we did not speak at all, he contacted me saying he would like to meet up when I felt ready as he knew it had been a hard time for me too and that he would like to know how I was feeling.

We met the following week and had a lovely time catching up and he told me he did still love me and wanted to work things out.. we had an emotional reconnecting with him telling me how much he’s missed me and wanted me, and me telling him the same. We decided to take things slow and go back to dating each other which was exciting.

However..There was a few things that concerned me from our talk, he told me he had stopped taking his meds a couple days into his trip, but was feeling better than ever.. however did not seem convincing.

Later that evening when he had gone home he text me saying..”I don’t know what to say.. I feel so depressed right now, I don’t think I’m ready for these emotions” 

Although this punched me in the stomach.. I wasn’t completely surprised.. I was also feeling alot of mixed emotions which I think anyone would after such an emotional encounter.

For the few days following I did not hear much from him..this left me confused angry and upset.but I decided to let it go as processing time .. we met a few days later for a date and went to a gallery then for drinks.. we got into an emotional talk which started of rocky but then “tears of joy” he asked me to stay with him and I agreed, later that night he flipped a switch again and said some really hurtful things.. including that I was what caused his depression and his trouble with ED is because I wasn’t sexually attractive anymore..(we were drunk at this point) and although I know neither is true.. ouch! 

He was remorseful and the next morning he was very affectionate and loving... even more confusing! 

I called him later that day as I wanted to speak to him in a calm and sober manner.. and in my head had decided that this torcher needed to end..one way or another, he then told me on the phone that he loves me but he doesn’t think it’s going to work... as I was present in a bad period in his life and although he is happy when we are together.. I remind him of that period and he can’t handle it as he’s trying to sort his life out... but he wants a few  days to speak to some people cs he doesn’t want to make the wrong decision and regret it..

And now is those few days..

I see now that this needs to end, it kills me to say it.. I’ve never loved like this before, and a long time ago he said that to me too, he also once asked me not to give up on him, and I haven’t, but I’ve given him my all and have been given nothing for so long.

I will always be here for him but I see .. until he is willing to help himself and face his problems..no person or job or lifestyle will make him happy.

And for now .. I need to let him go and hope we can both find happiness and peace. :-( x