My Boyfriends Sex Drive

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I am seeking help with the problem I am facing with my bf. He has always had a lower sex drive than me. But over the last couple months it has become unbearable. It started off as 2 weeks in between each time we had sex then it went to 4 weeks in between. Where he finally admitted that he thinks he has a dysfunction with his penis getting hard. He stated that he will start taking vitamins to see if that boosts his energy. But the other day was the most discouraging we were fooling around and he stuck his penis in me and went soft. I am at a lost I have tried to spice up and do different things in the bedroom. I tried sending him nudes and sending him sexy texts. I tried getting out of our norm date and spicing up our home life. It is always a fight. He says now that he feels that I am pressuring him to preform. And to help him figure out what is going on. But I don't know what to do or where to look. If you have any suggestions I would be happy to hear thank you for reading. 

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    Is he taking or has he ever taken finasteride or accutane for hair loss or acne? How old is he? Is he in good health? Could he have exposure to chemicals or heavy meatals?
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  • Posted

    Is he slim? Does he exercise? Has he done blood tests including, prolactin, testosterone, estrogen?
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  • Posted

    Has he ever taken anti depressents? 

    He needs to go to the doctor to test those things.

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  • Posted

    Do get him to a doctor to rule out physical causes (including the side effects fo drugs, for example SSRI antidepressents) and make sure the doctor checks free testosterone in additon to total testosterone. It sounds like the problem is mostly with him getting and keeping an erection when he is with you, not that his sex drive (desire to have sex) is necessarily low. If this is the case (he can have an erection to orgasm by himself and he gets erections in his sleep, like before waking in the morning) then I would look at your relationship. This may require the help of a counselor. Is it just intercourse he has a problem with? Can he keep an erection when you use your hand or your mouth? If so this is actually a fairly common problem (not being able to keep an erection during intercourse) and you should be able to overcome it by removing the pressure for him to perform and just messing around for a few times to build up his confidence. Lay off the sexy texts and spicing up the home life unless he specifically asks for these things. Right now they only remind him that he can't perform and make him feel bad. Finally if he has been circumcised some men have reported losing sensitivity and pleasurabe feelings in their penis as they age. Foreskin restoration can help if this is the problem.
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  • Posted

    Does your boyfriend watch ALOT of porn?  Your boyfriend may have a porn additction and this could be affecting his ability to maintain an erection with a physical person.  This is something that happened to me and I could never understand why it was difficult for me to maintain an erection with an actual person.
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  • Posted

    The issue can be really complicated in that it can be caused by so many things. Best to have medical cause checked out first. In the mean time if it is just an erection problem then he can use Viagra or something else like it. I am 47 and used to have an amazing drive with no ED at all, however I find it happens more often now that I am older so in my case it is due to low testosterone levels. He could have a problem with this caused by many factors, so best to get to a doctor first. This can be a sign of a real medical issue that needs to be dealt with. I wish you luck and try to be patient with him as the pressure will just make things worse.
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    • Posted

      Well you can't make him go to the doctor. He probably wants to handle this himself and men in general don't go to the doctor as often as women. If he wants to try his vitamins or some other self help tactic see if you can get him to agree that if it doesn't work after a month he will see a doctor. Another angle is to get him to agree to just one thing. One visit with the doctor to see what he says. Tell him he doesn't have to do anything the doctor says but can he just at least make an initial appointment for you. What you should probably NOT do is something like make a doctor's appointment for him (unless he specifically asks you to) or repeatedly ask him if he's made an appointment.
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    • Posted

      A month is a good point in which if things don't turn around. But I don't know where to the goal or boundry. Where to set the bar. But I feel like he is not taking this seriously.
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  • Posted

    Hes probably just addicted to porn or not interested anymore
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