My brother is an alcoholic

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My brother is an alcohol hes admitted to drinking at least 1 litre of vodka a day and more at the weekend. He has lost his job and is working for me part time. He has acute panreatitis and inflamed liver. He has alcohol withdrawal fits and its been especially bad for the last 6 years. He has finally moved out of our parents at 38 as they could no longer cope. He is renting a room above a pub (he does not drink in pubs only in isolation so this is not an issue) My wife has been brilliant with him we had hime live with us for 12 weeks when he had to leave mums but the alcohol brother was affecting our life too much and was aggresive infront of my 9 year old son. We are supposed to be going abroad with him 2 weeks today (we tried to give him a sober goal) our villa is away from shops this was a descision we took to prevent the temptation but he hasnt stopped at all. He is lying to everyone and Im worried as we cant get any insurance for him. he has just come out of hospital saturday and he is drinking again its tearing our family apart

 

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  • Posted

    Okay, an alcoholic can not just stop drinking, it doesn't just happen. It is not lack of willpower or moral fibre. If you think you will take him to an isolated villa, he will just lose all interest in alcohol, you are severely mistaken.

    A litre a day is a huge amount to be drinking and without medication it is very dangerous to stop, especially if he has already shown signs of fits. You can lock a heroin addict in a room and make them go cold turkey and it will not kill them. If you do the same to an alcoholic, they may die of a seizure.

    He needs to use medication to come off alcohol, there are two different types/routes to take. And then it takes a fair time for the brain to return to normailty. Alcohol, as well as affecting body organs, also changes the neural pathways of the brain and makes it almost impossible for an alcoholic to function without alcohol inside them, This needs to be reset, it has happened over a long period and doesn't reverse itself in a matter of days.

    It can be sorted, unfortunately the medical industry in this country is a disgrace and really wash their hands of anyone that is an alcoholic. They will do pretty much anything for a drug addict, but they don't want to know about anyone with an alcohol problem.

    The best thing you can do, if you are going to take him on holiday, is give him access to alcohol but try to ask him to moderate it slightly. You will not sort the problem in the timescale that you have. prior to the holiday.

    The good news is, as I have mentioned, there is medication that helps greatly and it has helped many here. Many of us here, understand far more about alcohol and its effects of the body, brain and personality, so you will get good advice here, keep coming back if you want help.

    I think that is enough for the first post, I'll let you digest it and then perhaps if you want to know more, you'll come back and repost.

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  • Posted

    Hi..I'm an alcoholic too. Sadly, we destroy families and relationships. The only thing you can really do to help him, is to get some help yourself.  

    Learn how to detach from him. Let him alone in the apartment above the pub. As RHGB stated (basically) you are only going to cause yourself more heartache and dissappointment by taking him to your villa.  Its sweet that you want to help but he is not going to stop drinking until he is ready or sick enough to stop drinking.

    I understand he just got out of hospital due to drinking and is drinking again.  I too have had many hospital visits due to drinking in the last 3 years and none of them "scared" me enough apparently because I have continued to drink at times.

    I do not want to die and I am really trying not to drink. You have to let your brother get to the point where he doesn't want to die and he wants to stop or control his drinking.

    There is only one way of "controlling" the drinking that I know of and I think the families energies would be better spent on finding out how to get him the proper medical assistance to get him on the Sinclair method.  

    I have not tried the method..but I read here most that do are able to lessen their drinking a great deal. A pill is taken a couple hours prior to the first drink and it does something that makes the person drink less.  

    Eventually, I have read on here that some of the people end up STOPPING altogether with this drug.  

    To me, that is the ONLY thing you can do if you are still willing to be involved in his spiral. Try to get him help..if he doesn't want the help you really have to leave him alone and do things to get yourselfs well and get your minds off of him.

     

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  • Posted

    Hello 1970,

    I really feel how hard this is for you. Your Brother is in a similar situation to what I was going through. Obviously you have a strong bond with him, but what I'm going to say will be echoed many times on here. You have to step back, sometimes things need tough love. You can't let his addiction rule your life. You should be having a great time with you Wife and Young Lad. You can't make someone do something that they are not ready for or don't want. Take Away any stability that you are providing for Him. Observe from affar if you must. But let him see where his addiction is Taking him, then Maybe, he could see what it's doing to himself and the people that care about him. You have to remember that this is not your fault and its not a case of you are not doing enough to help him. I Think taking him on Holiday could be very dificult for you and your Family, as he would have to drink. Cold Turkey is dangerous, people on here rate the sinclair method, that may be a route he can take or look into. I deffinatly recommend tapering off slowly, about 10% a week. I wish you the best of luck, and hope that one Day, your Brother can wake up sober

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  • Posted

    I really feel for you and your family I am currently in the same boat and have been for some years now with my dad my advice on the holiday would be not to take him well not if you and your family want any sort of holiday as this happened to me last August I told my dad no drinking in the caravan around my six year old because he starts to get aggressive swearing and very loud and my son can't cope with the noise due to his disabilities so my dad promised but first hour we where there he pulled vodka out of his pocket never again ruined me and my family's holiday

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  • Posted

    you are a kind and caring brother and loosing an uphill struggle..sorry, but I cannot see him stopping anytime soon...He does need to have some more willpower! Robin
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