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My Cardiophobia/Anxiety Disorder is ruining my life. Any advice from fellow sufferers?

Posted , 5 users are following.

gmccoy957
gmccoy957

I've been anxious my whole life. I had a real bad childhood that caused me to be anxious most of the time. I had my first severe panic attack at 15. I went to the hospital with a racing heart and was told I had PSVT. Obviously that scared the life out of me, as a 15 year old, who had no idea how any sort of heart condition worked. I stayed overnight and got told that my tachycardia was caused by severe anxiety, and not PSVT. I was diagnosed with GAD and Panic Disorder. I got put on Lexapro, which didn't help me even after a few months. I switched to Prozac. I wasn't really worried about my heart at this point, and I'm working out and playing sports. My Prozac stops working around 16 years old, so I get switched to Zoloft. Everything is a lot better up until 2020 with the pandemic. I think I just hyper-focused on my heart. I started having palpitations, getting dizzy, body scanning, etc etc. I went to my Doctor who ordered an ECG. I got a call back a couple days later and was told I had first degree AV-block. I immediately start freaking out. At that time, I couldn't get into a cardiologist because 1) it wasn't considered urgent 2) it was the beginning of the pandemic. I ended up going to the ER after a couple weeks, where I had 3 ECG's, a chest X-Ray, and blood work. I was told I didn't have AV-block at that moment, but did have incomplete RBBB. They let me go home that night because there wasn't anything that needed to be treated. I see a cardiologist a month later, and perform a stress test. It comes back completely normal. No arrhythmia, no ischemia, nothing. It brought me a lot of peace knowing I was healthy. October of 2021 I get off Zoloft after not having anxiety for awhile. May 2022, I start having really bad anxiety. Same anxiety I had before. Then I start freaking out about my heart again. At this point I'm using a stethoscope, listening to my heart and trying to become my own doctor. I convince myself I have aortic stenosis, because I thought I had a murmur where that would normally be heard. I went to a doctor this June. I got checked out by 2 different physicians at the same office. Both agree that my heart sounds healthy. I get bloodwork and an ECG, both of which come back normal. I was put back on Zoloft. I got another ECG in July because I was still anxious. That one came back the same as the last. I have a blood pressure machine and am using it almost daily. A few days ago, I bought a pulse-oximeter, which says I have 96% SpO2 most of the time. I notice my heart beating slow in the morning, and the pulse-ox shows 50-55bpm. I just feel so hopeless. I keep getting told I'm healthy but I don't believe it. I have a cardiology referral made by the most recent physician for a holter monitor, which he says is purely for my peace of mind. I don't wanna keep going in, but I'm convinced I have an arrhythmia right now, and want more testing. I'm now in debt and am behind on bills because I haven't worked in two months. My life is going downhill fast. Any advice? Input? Anything? I feel so alone through all of this. Thanks in advance. If you made it this far, you're a trooper.

1 like, 7 replies

7 Replies

  • vanessa10905
    vanessa10905 gmccoy957

    Edited

    wow this sounds exactly like me!!! ill be waiting to see what replies you get. im currently struggling with this as well...

    • gmccoy957
      gmccoy957 vanessa10905

      Posted

      I'm so so sorry to hear that you're also struggling with this. I hope that the both of us, as well as the many other folks who deal with this, can find some peace within ourselves. If you ever need to talk you can message me!

  • james49527
    james49527 gmccoy957

    Edited

    i am exactly the same and i really struggle with cardiophobia and anxiety. I do think its my anxiety and have decided to start cbt to work on that.

    • gmccoy957
      gmccoy957 james49527

      Posted

      I've been going to CBT once a week for about 2/3 months now. It can definitely help out and I've learned a couple small things to help with panic attacks. A cold water bottle on the face always helps bring me back to earth. If you ever need to talk you can message me!

    • james49527
      james49527 gmccoy957

      Edited

      thanks and same to you. Just know your not the only one going through this. x

  • sasical72
    sasical72 gmccoy957

    Edited

    Hi Gaveenie,

    I'm sorry you are going through such a tough time.

    I know exactly where you are coming from because I have had anxiety since I was 14-15 as well. I'm now 50 and to me it's heartbreaking how much of my life I have wasted on worrying about things that never happened, I will NEVER get that time back.

    The only way to get over it, is once you have had your holter you need to trust everything is ok with your heart and use your time and money on really working on your anxiety and the "what if" .Health anxiety has robbed me of so much of my life, I have tried to have so much "control" over any possible illness yet in the end my life has been worse than that of people with physical illness because health anxiety is like living in hell.

    And in the end, what will be will be. I have spent years and years afraid of certain things that have not happened and yet, one thing that had never crossed my mind has caused me a disability. So we can't really control everything anyway.

    You sound as if you are still young. I hope you can get the help you need to go about and enjoy life. All the best x

    • gmccoy957
      gmccoy957 sasical72

      Edited

      Wow, thank you for your reply. You brought me to tears (in a good way of course). I guess I've never really looked at it that way. Probably because I'm still young. But, even at my age, I look back and wish I could've done things differently. There's no point in constantly tending to the need of this horrible anxiety. You're absolutely correct. What will be, will be. What rationale is in freaking out and suspending my progress in life over diseases and ailments that I don't - and probably won't - ever have. It sounds so silly and hypocritical when we put it that way, but it's the darn truth. I really appreciate your insight and for sharing some of your story with me and others who will read this. I know I'm a lot younger, but if you ever need to talk, or just want to check in, please feel free to message me xx

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