My Cipralex / Escitalopram diary

BACKGROUND STORY:

Have in the last 11 months tried CYMBALTA, Prozac and Sertraline. No luck.

OCTOBER 3, 2018: CIPRALEX 5 MG / 100 MG SERTRALINE

Medicin start day.. Note to self: Give it 7-10 days for side effects to subside.

Day 1 - Wednesday: start 5 mg + 100 mg Sertraline (and 60 mg Mianserin). Took it at night time and slept from 20:30pm until 6am.

Day 2 - Thursday: Anxious and nauseous (not a side effects) from morning and until 2pm. Took Clonazapam at 7am. No appetite. At 12:30pm I forced myself to eat a little and go for a walk - that was rough as I was extremely anxious. Took a Clonazapam again 1:30pm, meditated a bit and calmed down. Was calm rest of the day and even managed to go to a restaurant with my 5 year old. This isn’t a sign of things getting better though... I always feel better late afternoon and evenings. Side effects except the usual anxious-induced anxiety and nausea: a smashing headache in the afternoon. Took 100 mg Sertraline + 5 mg Cipralex (and 60 mg Mianserin) at 8pm.

Rate 1-10: 6

Day 3 - Friday: Shaking, anxious and a bit nauseous from morning. Had very vivid dreams - almost nightmare. Got up at 6am. Took a Clonazapam 6:30am. No appetite. Was rather anxious (although I took a Clonazapam both 11:30am and 2pm) until around 5pm where things settled. Side effects except the usual anxious-induced anxiety and nausea: a smashing headache in the afternoon. Was in bed by 10:30pm with same amount of medicine as yesterday.

Rate 1-10: 6

Day 4 - Saturday: Shaking, anxious and a bit nauseous from morning. Perhaps a tad better than yesterdays morning. Had very vivid dreams and woke up at 6am. Took a Clonazapam and made myself get up and bake rolls for the kids. I even had an appetite. Took another Clonazepam at 12:30pm. Today is one of my goals to try not to focus as much on this illness as I normally do which means less laying down googling symptoms and instead trying to be present in the moment, read books and concentrate on watching some telly. Ended up doing some house work. All in all this has been a lovely day with a minimum of anxiety! Took 5 mg of Cipralex, 100 mg of Sertraline and 60 mg of Mianserin at 8pm. Side effects: Headache and tiredness.

Rate 1-10: 8

Day 5 - Sunday: Woke up 5:50am and had stomach upset and anxiousness. I took a Clonazapam at 7am but that didn’t really help. Jittery and worried. Tried to meditate. Took another Clonazapam but to no avail. Perhaps part of feeling this way is because I’m attending a family gathering and that stresses me out a lot. I don’t know why, really, as I know each and everyone very well and feel calm in their presence. Was very nauseated. Anxiety dissipated around 4pm. Took 5 mg of Cipralex, 100 mg of Sertraline and 60 mg of Mianserin at 8pm. Side effects: Headache and tiredness. GI upset. Slept too late as I lay in bed ruminating.

Rate 1-10: 3

OCTOBER 9, 2018: CIPRALEX 10 MG / 50 MG SERTRALINE

Medicin increase day. Remember: Give it 7-10 days for side effects to subside.

Day 1 of increase to 10 mg

Day 6 - Monday: Woke at 5am. Anxious and nauseous. Headache. Feeling like having the flu. Has been a horrible day, none the less. Side effects: Headache, nausea, flu like symptoms, extreme anxiety and tiredness. Anxiety didn’t ease off at all. Dose change: Took 50 mg Sertraline and 10 mg Cipralex at 8pm. Went to bed at 9pm and slept until 6am. Side effects: Headache, nausea, flu like symptoms and tiredness.

Rate 1-10: 3

Day 2 of increase to 10 mg

Day 7 - Tuesday: Woke at 6am. Anxious and nauseous. Took a Clonazapam at 6:30am, rested for a bit with a heating pad on my back and tried to work. Felt like I was having the flu - the headache was massive. Took another Clonazapam + tranquilizer at 10:30am and was able to work and actually function rest of the day with a minimum of anxiety. Went to bed at 9:30pm. Took 10 mg of Cipralex, 50 mg of Sertraline and 60 mg of Mianserin. Side effects: Headache, nausea, flu like symptoms and tiredness - but only until noon.

Rate 1-10: 8

Day 3 of increase to 10 mg

Day 8 - Wednesday: Slept through the night, hurrah. A bit of anxiousness but no nausea. Took Clonazapam at 8am. In general I feel like my internal monologue has slowed down a bit this morning at least. Went to group therapy and took another Clonazapam at 11am. Worked until 3pm where headache from hell hit. Got a bit anxious. Went away with tranquilizers. Managed to cook dinner. Went to bed at 9:30pm. Took 10 mg of Cipralex, 50 mg of Sertraline and 60 mg of Mianserin. A good day. Side effects: Headache.

Rate 1-10: 8

Day 4 of increase to 10 mg

Day 9 - Thursday: Woke at 5am. Three bouts of diarrhea. Anxious and shaky. Took Clonazapam at 7am. Laid down with a heating pad on my stomach. Took Clonazapam 11am and again 3pm. Has been very anxious, flu like, have had a headache and a bit nauseous the whole day. Not a great day, unfortunately. Took 10 mg of Cipralex, 50 mg of Sertraline and 60 mg of Mianserin at 8pm. Side effects: Headache, nausea, flu like symptoms and tiredness.

Rate 1-10: 3

Day 5 of increase to 10 mg

Day 10 - Friday: Woke up at 5am and took a Clonazapam. Anxious as hell. Am shaking and thinking nothing will ever help me. Took Clonazapam at 10:30am. Was anxious all day. Side effects: Headache, nausea, flu like symptoms and extreme anxiousness.

Rate 1-10: 3

Day 6 of increase to 10 mg:

Day 11 - Saturday: Woke at 5:06am with a racing heart. Had the usual morning runs. Took a Clonazapam and slumbered anxiously until 8:30am. Went up, still anxious, and baked rolls. Tried to preoccupy myself with other things than Google - that’s hard - and ended up taking a Clonazapam at 10:15am. Clonazapam worked - nausea and anxiety gone - and I had a few normal hours, hurrah! Rest of the day: no anxiety. Wup! Took 10 mg of Cipralex, 50 mg of Sertraline and 60 mg of Mianserin.

Side effects: Diarrhea and anxiety, but nothing from 11am.

Rate 1-10: 8

Day 7 of increase to 10 mg:

Day 12 - Sunday: Woke 5:40am with a racing heart. Again had the usual morning runs. Slept some more - quite anxiously dreams - and took a Clonazapam at 9am. It worked. I was calm. Had a great day. Took 10 mg of Cipralex, 50 mg of Sertraline and 60 mg of Mianserin. However couldn’t sleep at my usual time (10pm) and ended up sleeping at 1am after taking a Clonazapam and got up several times through the night.

Side effects: Morning diarrhea, morning anxiety + Insomnia.

Rate 1-10: 8

Day 8 of increase to 10 mg:

Day 13 - Monday: After a lot of disturbed sleep I woke at 7:00am and had anxiety and the runs. I’m sick and tired of it. Took a Clonazepam at 10am. Took Cipralex at 1pm together with 25 mg Sertraline. My family is sick so haven’t had a single free moment. Around 3pm I was rather jittery and shaky but for now am trying not to take a Clonazapam and battle through it. Took 10 mg of Cipralex, 50 mg of Sertraline and 60 mg of Mianserin. Went to bed at 9pm and woke in sweat 4am. Continue to have hot flashes/chills and unpleasant dreams. Fell asleep to yet more unpleasant dreams at 6am and slept until 7:30am.

Side effects: Morning diarrhea, morning anxiety, some anxiety in afternoon.

Rate 1-10: 7

OCTOBER 16, 2018: CIPRALEX 15 mg / NO SERTRALINE

Medicin increase day. Remember: Give it 7-10 days for side effects to subside.

Day 1 of increase to 15 mg:

Day 14 - Tuesday: Unpleasant morning. Have the usual morning runs. Feel tired, anxious and feel as if I have a mini flu. Took Clonazapam 0.5 mg at 9am and 1 mg together with 15 mg Cipralex at 10am. No Sertraline! All day has been rather anxious and jittery. Went to bed at 9pm with 60 mg Mianserin.

Side effects: Morning diarrhea, morning anxiety, some anxiety in afternoon. Flu like symptoms. Tired.

Rate 1-10: 5

Day 2 of increase to 15 mg:

Day 15 - Wednesday: Woke at 6am and had 3 x loose stools. Took Clonazapam at 7:30am. In the morning we had to rush to a birthday brunch. We couldn’t find the way to the restaurant and the gps on the phone messed up. Then the brunch where I’d already lost my appetite. Then in an indoor playground (I’m wasn’t participating) to where we couldn’t find the way either. So was so stressed and worked up you wouldn’t believe it. I definite can’t handle stress. I was shaking and couldn’t find calm. Took a Clonazapam again at 12:15pm and again at 2pm. Anxious feeling is in evening bearable but that’s just about it! Took Cipralex at 7pm because I forgot this morning.

Side effects: Morning diarrhea, flu like symptoms, headache, slight nausea, a lot of anxiety.

Rate 1-10: 5

Day 3 of increase to 15 mg:

Day 16 - Thursday: Felt like crap! Woke at 5:45 in panic and had upset stomach. Felt extremely tired and ‘off’. Took a Clonazapam at 7am. Anxiety increased so took double Clonazapam at 11:20am. It didn’t help. I felt nauseous, had a headache, felt like having the flu, MEGA anxious, shaking, sweating, feverish. Withdrawals or upping dose? I don’t know. Perhaps a nasty combo of both. Was better after 6pm.

Side effects: Headache, flu like symptoms, anxiousness, feverish, sweating.

Rate 1-10: 4

Day 4 of increase to 15 mg:

Day 17 - Friday: Definitely a better day! Woke 6:45 and felt a little queazy. Had vivid, not very pleasant dreams. Had the normal morning runs and my stomach hurt. Took a Clonazapam at 8am, went up and made coffee, washed clothes, made tomato soup and went grocery shopping. Total opposite of yesterday!? It’s very odd how it changes from day to day. Took 15 mg Cipralex at 1pm. Have since felt flu like and my ear and throat hurts but not sure that’s in any way related to Cipralex.

Side effects: Morning diarrhea, a bit tired.

Rate 1-10: 8

Day 5 of increase to 15 mg

Day 18 - Saturday: I’ve noticed a recurring thing: vivid, unpleasant dreams. I don’t know how long I’ve had them as I haven’t written it down but I know for a fact pthey’ve been here the last 3 days and probably a lot longer (I mention them day 3 and 4 of 5 mg and day 8 of 10 mg but also mention waking up with a racing heart a lot). I’m guessing they are the cause of the morning anxiety and loose stools. Woke at 5:45am and anxiously slumbered to 6:45am. 3 x loose stools. Took Clonazapam at 07:35am. 10:35am I’m was still rather shaky and anxious and ran to the bathroom. Took another Clonazapam at 12:00 and was ok from 1-2pm but then anxiety crept back in. I went for a 45 minute long walk. From having been almost couch-bound for a year this slow stroll made me sweat. Didn’t help the nagging unease or the queasiness inside though but I guess I just have to persevere. Couldn’t fall asleep and panicked. Was shaking like crazy. Slept at 2am or 3am.

Side effects: anxiousness, loose stools, slight nausea, insomnia.

Rate 1-10: 3

Day 6 of increase to 15 mg:

Day 19 - Sunday: Woke at 7am and took a clonazepam. I then anxiety-slumbered to 8:30am. Anxious, nauseas, still shaky. Scared about the fact that I couldn’t sleep. Felt as if all bad was returning. Took Clonazepam at 10am. Forced myself for a walk even though I was super nauseous and took yet another Clonazapam. This has been a day where the anxiety has not gone away. I’m really trying to not freak out about it. Went back to taking the Cipralex during evening time so took it at 7pm. Slept at 9pm the latest. Was exhausted.

Side effects: Major anxiousness, loose stools, nausea, tiredness.

Rate 1-10: 3

Day 7 of increase to 15 mg:

Day 20 - Monday: Woke at 6am and got up. Sorry to be so direct but I had only one bout of diarrhea - for me that’s pretty awesome. Slightly anxious but managed to make lunch for the kids and send them off. Got my period! Took a Clonazapam at 8am. Spend a few hours on the couch with meditation and a heating pad. Almost fell asleep. I’m so tired! Felt anxious and had no appetite but ate a few tomatoes. Took another Clonazapam at 12:15 and went to the doctor to get some blood work done. Specifically a blood test that shows how I metabolize the Cipralex as I had issues with that on the Sertraline. Picked up my child from school and although I was not chipper (actually I behaved a bit like a witch because my teenage son never ever does this chores and I was so fed up by it) and even though I felt quite anxious I managed to make dinner. Big accomplishment. I’m hoping this means the worst side effects from upping the dose is over and/or Sertraline withdrawals are on their way... away. Hope. That’s really all I’ve got and the most important feeling I’ve got. Sometimes I’ve lost hope and oh dear - what a hell you are in if that happens. Then there’s absolutely nothing but despair. Took Cipralex and Mianserin at 9pm and probably slept 10:30pm.

Side effects: Some anxiousness, loose stools, slight nausea, tiredness.

Rate 1-10: 6

Day 8 of increase to 15 mg:

Day 21 - Tuesday: Woke at 5:45am with a little anxiety. Still upset stomach. Two x diarrhea. Made lunch for the kids and have a mission today - despite how I’m feeling - to vacuum and do some work. I must and I will! Took Clonazapam at 7:35am. Didn’t help. Am feeling helpless and so very anxious and worried about the future. Took new Clonazapam at 10:45am. Didn’t help. Crying. Major nausea. Took another Clonazapam 12:45 + 25 mg Sertraline. Nausea down a bit.

Side effects: Very anxious, loose stools, a lots of nausea, out of it.

Rate 1-10: 3

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