my dad verbally and physically abuses my mom
Posted , 2 users are following.
I need some advice with regards to my abusive father and I was hoping you could help me.
I'm a 22 years old who lives in a family house with my mom, dad, sister and a couple of aunts in the same house. my father actually had married 4 times before. my mom was his second. it's a common thing here in the middle east. he spent his entire life away from us (for work or with his other wives). lately, they all dumped him. due to some medical issues and his behavior, no one wants to hire him and he doesn't have a job now and he came back to our family house. money was and still our biggest problems in life. about three months ago he started a fight with my mom and verbally abuses here with awful words and tried to hit her but I didn't let him. my mom always hated this house and she always tells me that she agreed to live here only because of me and my sister. my dad is a grown man with a kid brain. very aggressive and he isn't being rational at all. literally, thinks as a 5 years old child. he is a burden to us all. after the fight, we lived in an atmosphere full of tension. 7 days ago he started another fight with the same awful words and tried to hit her but again I stood up to him. between the two fights, i tried to politely talk to both my mom and dad but seems there's nothing going to work. me and my sister can't live with this situation.
lately, i started to think of taking them into splitting up and confront my dad. my mom always wanted to have an independent life away from this house and i think the time has become. I know this probably will make me lose him because me and my sister will live with my mom which is something he obviously won't agree with it. and if he insists on disagreeing maybe the police will be involved.
what should i do?
sorry for my bad English I'm not a native speaker.
1 like, 3 replies
mike09523 cockro
Posted
Bullying fathers are the same whatever the race or faith.You, believe it or not are lucky, with many of us its a bullying father and mother.
Thankfully you are at an age where it is possible to pacify and introduce reasoning into the situation. In my country,England, there are many places that would help a bullied mother and children to live a more peaceful life.
Your situation is possibly not so easy, even when involving the police.
Do your other relatives living with you side with your mother, or father. Will it be easy financially for you all to break away from your father, and find new quarters and possibly new jobs.
Wishing you good luck,
Mike.
cockro mike09523
Posted
hey mike thanks for your response,
my other relatives actually hate my father too and they can't stand him anymore. and you mentioned a good point; money! it would be a problem but i think we can deal with it. we really don't have another option. I mean staying in this house and taking all that humiliation and stress isn't an option anymore we're tired of him and his behavior.
all i'm worried about now is his reaction when i confront him with this and i can imagine it in my head. it won't end peacefully.
mike09523 cockro
Posted
Hi,
Have any of you in the past threatened to leave because of his behaviour, if so then he probably won't take you seriously. If on the other hand this is a first time that you have all stood United and say you are leaving him then yes it will be a shock, possibly a loss of face, even a humiliation of his local standing.
But, what alternatives do you have???
If you expect there will be trouble then you have surprise on your side. On the other hand you must not make him feel cornered or without options. Only you can pick the moment, pick it wisely and not before discussing it very seriously with your relatives.
Good luck,
Mike.