my depressed boyfriend, has he pushed me too far away?
Posted , 3 users are following.
iv been in a relationship for 4 years now, he has had very brief low points but now he has been fully depressed since december so nearly 3 months(this is with out any diagnosis he wont see a doctor). we only get a limited amount of time tgether with his work shifts and me being a mum, and we are not living tgether yet, december we werr talking not a lot but a few messages a day and he was saying he was low, the communication became less and less till i became extremely inpatient a few times now and expressed i need to know if he cares about me, it sounds selfish when he is so ill to be asking for reassurance, being left in the dark is so hard. he never said he cared after my third breakdown but just apologized explailing he is " fighting this thing" and i don't deserve this so we should take a break. he is not close with family and is very isolated now in covid living in a shared flat but theyre not friends. do i give him the break or carry on asking if he is ok even if i dont get a reply
0 likes, 2 replies
sam18386 millie87947
Posted
hi Millie, i must confess i'm a little confused. you said he was depressed at the start but towards the end it looks like some of his depression has rubbed off on you. now i have ptsd and this is not an easy condition to live with but not just for me but my husband too. it takes a lot to permanently be near someone with a serious mental health difficulty as mine. i have at times when I've felt really low felt i should not be with him but that's due to how i was forced to feel. if you're asking ALREADY about trust something has really gone wrong. we've been married over 12 years i think i have learnt HOW to trust. you must speak to each other, trust him without asking , look after him and look at the road he's facing and think if you'd want support if you were facing it too? if he loves you you'll find out soon enough. he's probably trying not to hurt or upset you too. i hope you both get support, it takes 2 to make a relationship and communication to make it last. good luck.
jan34534 millie87947
Posted
when somebody is depressed it’s very difficult to carry on a relationship because the person can’t even take care of themselves let alone nurture a relationship. You can try to ask him how he is doing but if he responds the same way saying you two should take a break , then it would be a good idea to give him space. Whatever you do, don’t push him. It’s very difficult to make decisions or do much of anything when depressed. He probably does need to see a doctor but sounds like he’s resistant. Hopefully he’ll get some support.