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My depressed boyfriend left me

Posted , 5 users are following.

lisa50985
lisa50985

Six weeks ago my bf left me. He just got up and left blocked all contact with me . Blocked me by phone facebook and wassspp. We were together for four years and in the first six months of us being together he left me for around a week and came back. This behaviour of him leaving me become worse as more in the relationship we got. He would up and go spend nights in hotels sending me horrible txt messages saying I was deluded I was mental he wished he wasn't alive. He once even went to holland for 5 nights after a little row we had. This started to get worse in 2016 he left me for someone else took her on holiday and then decided he didn't like her and wanted me back. We got back together was fine for a few months then he would start to go off for nights on end saying it was all my fault. He would lie about me to his family and my family and put me down it was as if he wanted everybody to hate me. There was a time when he got so down for one week he would drill the door and stay in there locked away intill the morning when he went to work while he locked his self in the room he would drink vodka

Some days and for a couple of weeks we were good he was happy and we got on well. He would hate any family get together and cause a row so we wouldn't go or as for the last family get together he just left causing a row with me. 

Six weeks ago he just left me with no explation at all blocked all contact I've been emailing him And no reply. He is on medication for clinical depression been on the tablets for about 2 months on and off as he does not want to take them. 

Last week I had my first email from him 

I went on pof to speak to people to try and get over him. He was on there 

I emailed him and said how painful it was seeing him on there he replied one hour later saying he knows how I feel as he feels the same. Hated seeing me on there this was the first contact I had from him in five weeks. He then went on and said he thinks I stole of him he thinks I recored him at the doctors !! He thinks I told everybody he had bipolia !! Then he went on to say he knows this as my daughter had told him I stole off him and told her he had bipolia. Then when I spoke to my daughter about it he said no that's what I think. He has completely got everything so mixed up so wrong. Iam so confused I want to help him. I love him with all my heart but he is just pushing me away. And not contacting me again. 

I don't know what to do. Do I stop emailing him now and see if he contacts me. I really don't know what to do 

0 likes, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • sam18386
    sam18386 lisa50985

    Posted

    Charming! Ooph you do all you can and that's your thanks,  don't speak to him yet,  you must be exceptionally sad,  I'm so sorry for you.  Leave him to it and if he contacts you think before you reply,  depression is no excuse for rudeness.  Good luck may be there is a nicer man out there for you  depending on how old you are and whether you want another person in your life.  

    • lisa50985
      lisa50985 sam18386

      Posted

      Hi thanks. Sam. I know people tell me to leave it. To stop trying to get in touch with him. Your probably right it's no excuse for how he has treated me. I can't help but blame his depression and hoping he will get in the right medication and we will be happy. But I think I'm living a dream he is getting worse as he is getting older I want to support him help him but he pushes me away and gets in contact when he feels like it. Iam 41. So I need to feel settled now   X

    • sam18386
      sam18386 lisa50985

      Posted

      Just take 1 day at a time,  good luck.  He clearly needs help.  Take care of you nobody else.  It's your time now. X

    • lisa50985
      lisa50985 sam18386

      Posted

      Yes. I will not contact him no more. He knows I care for him I keep telling him that in emails. But he don't reply to me. So I leave him alone and constrate on myself x 

  • borderriever
    borderriever lisa50985

    Posted

    Lisa

    This person seems confused and ill. You need to ask yourself do you really need this sort of problem.

    Is your daughter part of this relationship or is Her Father someone different?

    I had a bad relationship somewhat the same and eventually I had to get away from it. People can feel at a loss when a Partner goes on like this and all it does is cheapen you and effects your feelings of self worth as you become concerned about His actions, you feel you wish to  Mother Him. You placate His actions and you begin to hurt yourself and feelings.

    If He is ill He needs to see His GP, the problem here is the situation will get worse given more time. If I were you I would walk away and find someone who will be attentive and understanding. You have the right to be happy in your life and not worried if things would get worse as time passes by

    BOB

    • lisa50985
      lisa50985 borderriever

      Posted

      Hi. My daughter is 22. He is not her farther. He seems to message her and tell her that everything is my fault he lies and he twists things. I feel completely worn out!! I think he will get better but you are right he is getting so much worse. I used to come home tired from work he would say. Oh you are in a mood what's wrong cause a row then he would disappear for a week. 4 months ago he kicked me out whete I was homeless for a month sleeping at friends intill I found a place. All I have done is give my all to him and he hates me. Says untrue things about me. It is very hard because my brother lives with him and my daughters boyfriend works with him. I can't get away from him if you know what I mean the doctor said he has clinical depression and has put him on quipitine tablets. I don't know what to do. I think I should walk away from him because it's starting to make me feel low 

  • borderriever
    borderriever lisa50985

    Posted

    Lisa

    You need to consider your own interests and that of your Daughter.

    Your problem needs sorted and all I can suggest you discuss all with your family members, explain to them you are being used by Him and you are feeling at a loss and all is effecting your outlook on life and the need to move on is becoming an urgency that they all need to understand. Remember you have your needs and this person is walking all over your happiness and they need to believe you for the sake of yourself and Daughter.

    BOB

    • lisa50985
      lisa50985 borderriever

      Posted

      Yes you  are right. 

      I need to move forward  he is walking over me. I feel he has me exactly where he wants me. He is still involved with my family he has turned his family against me with his lies. I don't know if he lies so much he stars to believe the lies or he has parionia !!  

      He is walking over my happiness I will speak to my family 

      I need to move on from this now. I won't contact him no more. 

  • wayne1962
    wayne1962 lisa50985

    Posted

    Hi Lisa - 4 years of repeated rejection, insults and accusations. Get rid of him. You can't fix him. He has to want and do that himself. Get rid of him. Determine that you need and deserve better than this. Grieve what was. Let go. Then move on with your life. Get rid of him.

    • lisa50985
      lisa50985 wayne1962

      Posted

      Hi. Yes I know deep down I need to get rid off him. He hasDestroyed me 

      Iam not going to contact him anymore and start thinking about myself 

      If he decides to start making contact with me. I will need to be strong 

      ThAnkyou for your comment x

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