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Well my depression symptoms stated wen I was bout 19 I felt like I was in a bubble as if I was constantly under water didn't no what it was I just felt dread didn't want to go out I'd make excuses that my back was sure just so I could stay in bed I use to cry my self to sleep thinking I was never going to wake up again. I'd be sat down stairs and then I suddenly get this over powering rig like somethink was pulling me to run up stairs and jump out of the window this went on for bout. 3 months I wouldn't take medication because I didn't believe I was depressed I just didn't no what it was tried talking to my family but that really Disney help so I was on my own I don't how I done it but I pulled myself together started with a diet slowly getting back in to good company it was hard but step by step I became well again I mento partner who I've been with now 6 years in November ❤️Not long after meeting my partner I became moody crying for no reason not wanting to go out one day walking to work I felt really good listening to music threw my ear phones when I got to the train station waiting for the train then allot a sudden dread ran through me I suddenly felt sweaty and the horrible urge came back it was like some one pushing me towards the train tracks wanting me to jump I suddenly snapped out of it and put my self threw the crowds away from the track. Begging for the train to come it was the longest wait of my life but it came I sobbed on my way to work when I got in I told them I needs to go home so I did then made an appointment with my doctor I needed help I couldn't deal with this anymore so my partner came with me again doctors wanted to give me tablets I refused them I didn't want to admit that it was this that was causing me to be this way until my bf asked the doctor weather it could be something to do with my hormones the doctor said it could be so the done blood test turns out I had high prolactin got sent to different people got took for MRI scans all sorts of scans found out I had pcos the only thing that got me threw it this time was my partner and a councilor she was amazing went threw my whole child hood jus sat there and listened I felt so comfortable with her told her everything at the end of my session with this Amazing women she gave me a hug I have to say since then I haven't suffered with this it's now been 4 years and I have a 2 and a half year old baby girl couldn't be happier. I hope if any of you suffer with depression that you find away to help your self it's a scary and lonely place to be I just hope you get the support you need .x
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