My drug addiction hell

Hi Richie the sad answer is yes I’m still chained to it. You put me  in contact with a place in London the woman had helped you loads and you said you wanted to give her a big hug and give flowers as she had saved your life by stepping in with your gp and fighting for you. She or they have years of experience with opiate addiction. Can’t remember her name DAME. Must be the meds things are so cloudy as you’ve probably no your self. 

I was chatting to you and a woman called carol I think at the same time about 8 months ago maybe less and I was really low in mood and couldn’t see a way out. Much better at minute and of late but worry as certain things can trigger bad mood which is again a side effect of the meds as I thing it breaks down your confidence and belief in yourself. So negativity can set in fast within warning. At the minute I’ve got good support which wasn’t their previously. Vital for success obviously. I’d find it a miracle whoever managed to do it without anyone around them. It’s just so hard if heard pre gablin is very good for withdrawal symptoms but I’m not to sure as they are addictive. Am just slowly tapering at the minute and doing okay. Not amazing but better than taking more than prescribed. Ending up in front of Gps who don’t understand or care basically. Let’s face it. Lack of care has put me in this position they jut don’t have the tine it’s almost like their saying go now times uo ! Clock  watching. Which is sad when your playing with someone’s life. Anyway I hope your recovery has taken forward steps I read one comment you had made it seems your getting there.  Wish you luck mate 

Speak soon 

Pedro 

Hi mate.

I do remember you even though I couldn't at the time! It's one of the issues of all that Oxy mate, as you know, the memory is just one of the many things the evil stuff destroys!!

You're not off the stuff but you're tapering off it slowly & that's great mate it really is!!

Just take your time, take it nice & slow, there's no rush mate!! You will beat it!

The place was called Release & her name was Claire, an absolute Bloody angel & I still want to meet her one day to thank her personally.

Stay in touch my mate & I'm here if ever you need a chat!

Take care.

Ritchie

Hi Mate only just seen this reply.  

Glad you remember me and yes her name is Clare my ex’s name how could I forget ha ! How are you doing Richie all I see is you giving support and help advice to others ! How are you doing it’s been a long road or hill until now so be nice for an update on your progress. 

I’m just sat here tingling away in minor withdrawal it’s just so taxing on your body isn’t it.  I think you need a week to level off from even a minor reduction. 

To be honest I think body was ready for an increase at the point I’ve decreased if that makes sense so it’s made it harder than previous drops. We know our own body’s best and that’s the feedback my body’s giving me. I understand it’s physiological as well. The factors keep growing the more you want or try to get off or down..! It’s so much easier explaining these crazy thing thoughts: feeling with people who have walked in my shoes. 

And while I’m here Richie I’d like just to say thanks for your efforts last year even though I’ve been worse post Xmas last year I was really really low and with finding this site chematging to you and others it gave me hope that I’m not alone and there’s genuine peoples who actually do care without meeting you which sounds strange but you do connect and that’s because we understand what one another’s has or is going through. It’s a rare thing. 

One thing I can’t find is the app for this site I’m having go thru my mailbox and click read messages. I had the app unless it’s not available on iPhone ??  Don’t no if you have any suggestions. 

Anyway mate hope your doing well have a goof day 

Darren ha ! 

I can relate to everything you're saying mate, it is quite possibly the hardest thing I'll ever go through & it is pure hell! But once you come back from it you can see as things start to get clearer just how this stuff ruled your whole life from the second you wake up to the second you go to sleep.

I don't crave it anymore, the only time i think of it is probably when I'm really struggling with my back as it gets so frustrating having to struggle in pain.

I was on 115mils of methadone I think last time we spoke & I've just reduced it again this week down to 30mils per day, I'm hoping to be off it altogether by summer. I keep forgetting to take it lol. So I'm obviously over the addiction side of it now.

I feel so much better than i did a few months ago. Upto Xmas I was low every single day but since Xmas I feel so much better in myself mood wise. I don't know how etc, it just clicked & I now feel loads better. I tried antidepressants etc but nothing helped at all so all I've taken in last few months is the methadone & that's it.

My new gp gave me Pregablin, Gabapentin, amatryptaliñ even morphine (low dose) but nothing helped with the pain so I'm now taking nothing at all, just methadone which I'm reducing all the time.

The Oxy screwed my sex drive up which I had hormone Injections for due to almost zero testosterone levels, but after 3 injections it thickened my blood up so I'm laying off it for a bit as the consultant says now I'm off all the Oxy it may return to normal so just gotta wait & see.

My motivation to do things still hasn't returned, I'm preying it will do in time but who knows.

And obviously my memory is terrible!! That stuff has a lot to answer for my mate!!

What made me realise I was starting to get my life back again was the day before Xmas eve. I went for a meal with my partner & she said it was great to have the old me back & said thank you for coming back to her!!

It's only then I really realised what hell i put her through but she stood by me hoping id come back to her one day! She really helped me when i was having crap days also. She must really love me hey!!!

We're now better & stronger than ever together which is great!!

I don't use an app either, I just click on the link from emails. I didnt know there was an app?

You keep going matey as you can & will beat it!

You know where i am if you need to chat anytime.

Keep in touch & take care.

Ritchie