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My erectile problem seems uncommon. Please help.

Posted , 5 users are following.

GreenD
GreenD

Hi

I'm 26 years old unmarried man. I don't drink or smoke. Everything of my body was found normal until I experienced something strange.

My penis is normal in size and shape. I get hard erection during sleep and sometimes when I'm alone thinking something arousing. (During my young age I used to masturbate but later abandoned that habit.) However, when I met my lover for the first time in my room, I found that I wasn't getting erection. We kissed, hugged each other and stayed on the bed for a long time. Although we didn't intend to have sex, but I found my penis wasn't responding at all (it should have been erected). This happened 3-4 times whenever we met. Surprisingly later while thinking about these meetings or talking to her over phone, I get hard erection.

During these times I tried to remain mentally calm despite the fact that I was quite excited as those were new experiences.

I don't like to take medicine until it's extremely necessary. I've become worried about myself because I'll marry her soon and I don't want to get a bitter experience during our first sex. Therefore please suggest me something natural to get rid of this trouble.

1 like, 12 replies

12 Replies

  • archemedes
    archemedes GreenD

    Posted

    Just learn to relax and appreciate and accept the full beauty of your partner, and whatever you do not think that you will not live up to her expectations.

    A lot of men get a mental picture of what they think their partners will expect of them, and this can lead to unnecessary anxiety in the male.

    Most women understand men better than men understand themselves and this is why the emotional side of a relationship usually means more to a woman than it means to a man. Men have this built-in need to always perform well in bed, and quite frankly it isn't always possible.

    So just learn to relax more and let things take their natural course.

    • GreenD
      GreenD archemedes

      Posted

      Dear archemedes,

      Thanks a lot for your valuable reply. You've raised two significant points- anxiety created by imagining expectations of partner and need to always perform well. I'll remember these.

  • Islay
    Islay GreenD

    Posted

    1. I suggest you start masturbating again. It will encourage blood flow to your penis and assist erections naturally.

    2. Does your lover fondle your genitals when you're alone with her? If not it could help you, especially if you do the same to her. Mutual arousal is very satisfying.

    3. Have you tried oral sex together? It can be very arousing.

    I wish you all the best - and try not to worry! Easy to say I know, but worrying won't help at all. Try to relax and enjoy every little progress as it comes along. It will lead to better things believe me.

    Christopher

    • GreenD
      GreenD Islay

      Posted

      Dear Christopher,

      1. During my young age I discovered masterbating techniques and it turned into a habit. Later I found many side effects of it and decided to stop. I don't want to restart because I can't control myself and end up doing it multiple times a day which is very harmful. However, as I told earlier, I generally get full erections during sleep and when think about/talk to my lover. Observing these quick and hard eretions I used to assume myself as a good performer in bed until I physically met her.

      2. Yes. We fondled our genitals as it was our first time. We were doing a kind of experiment actually. The point scared me most that even after her repeated rubbing my penis remained flaccid and finally ejaculated in the same state. I explained to her that I was nervous, hence got no erection. But I still worry about my future life.

      3. No. Both of us are not comfortable with oral sex.

      Thanks a lot for your wish and valuable suggestions. You are right. I shouldn't worry and relax. But you know mind doesn't work according to one's wish.

  • GreenD
    GreenD

    Posted

    More suggestions please.
  • Michael_Knight
    Michael_Knight GreenD

    Posted

    Dear 26 year old unmarried man. Sorry, but I don't think you gave your name. I am a 54 year old married man, and 6 years ago had a car accident which resulted in erectile dysfunction such as you describe above. It lasted for one year until I finally decided to see medical assistance. I met a terrific male doctor who specialises in men's health. Being anxious, embarrassed, and all of that, I was glad that the doctor turned out to be older than me. I expected a traditional, conservative type approach from him. Rather, quite the opposite, he was a breath of fresh air. The first thing that he said to me was: "Use it, or lose it". By this he explained that the penis is a part of the body that needs regular exercise. He said that night time erections are just that - night time erections. He explored my frequency of sexual activity with my wife, and on learning my pattern of sexual activity, told me that I needed to be more "active" in order for the penis to strengthen. He encouraged me to recommence madturbating every day, which had now corrected my problem completely. I do not dwell on the act of masturbation as a breach of intimacy against my wife, rather I view it like a workout or session in the gym. If you can prolong the act you will strengthen the penis, and with this will come nature's own responses when in otherwise intimate sessions with your partner. I am so grateful for the advice. I now "workout" my member EVERY day, and feel the added health benefits of reduced anxiety. If your foot, leg or arm was causing you trouble, you might resort to physio. Think of masturbation like a physio session, and let go of your sorties and anxieties. I still hear my doctor's poignant words ringing in my ears: "Use it or lose it". Best of luck, and look after and enjoy your body! Nature is wonderful, and men are blessed these days with so much support from both medical fields as well as social networking. Celebrate who you are, and rediscover your body intimately in a not so guilty feeling. Take care, and thanks for your honesty and openness. Hope my experience has made you realise that there's life in the old dog yet! Cheers, and happy "workouts". Mike!
    • GreenD
      GreenD Michael_Knight

      Posted

      Thanks a lot for your insightful reply. However I stopped masturbating because I found it as an unstoppable habit. Don't know if this happened to others but I would do it multiple times and experienced some penile disorders. Out of fear I contemplated to stop it. Did your doctor suggest anything beside it?
    • Michael_Knight
      Michael_Knight GreenD

      Posted

      Let me explain it like this. If you are doing weights training in the gym, and you overdo it, you can experience sore muscles and must rest for some time in between to allow your body to heal. Now, your penis is absolutely no different. Masturbate in moderation! That's the key. Daily is good, and stick to a routine. When you experience soreness in your penis, you know you have overdone it, so give yourself time to heal. But it doesn't have to become a habit that gets out of control. After all, YOU are in control. Approach it as you would any workout programme. Set the scene, warm up, intensify the activity, and when finished let the member relax before going about your normal duties. Put it this way, your penis needs regular exercise to stay healthy and active, and if you are not yet in a regular sexual relationship which provides this outlet, you must go it alone. We all do it. So lose the hang ups, take control, and masturbate at a frequency that's just right for your body. Treat your penis with the love and attention it deserves, and you will be soon enjoying a lovely fulfilling sexual life, both in and out of your relationship. Solo is good for the soul! And for overall wellness and well being. Keep in touch. Regards, Mike.
  • Islay
    Islay GreenD

    Posted

    So Michael agrees with me. Masturbation CAN help you.

    You spoke of night time erections, but have you ever experienced 'morning wood'? It's an involuntary and very 'hard' erection upon waking in the morning, often extending the length of your penis beyond anythng you have had before.

    It demonstrates what your penis can achieve if left to itself and your subconscious mind. So take encouragement from that and accept that your conscious mind CAN do the same!

    Christopher

    • GreenD
      GreenD Islay

      Posted

      You are correct. I experience this everyday when I wake up in the morning. I wish if I could get such erection whenever I want. Even sometimes I need to pour water in order to make it flaccid to urinate properly!

      Here's the problem. between this stupid conflict between conscious and subconscious mind I'm going to lose first greatest moments of life.

  • Michael_Knight
    Michael_Knight GreenD

    Posted

    Yes, as Christopher states, I fully support and endorse masturbation as a health benefit. It's important to realise that it is NOT harmful in any way, so try and leave behind any worries and anxieties that you may have from growing up as referred to in your earlier comment. As the old expression goes: "a healthy mind in a healthy body". If your subconscious is still stuck in a time warp but your physical body is now 26 years old, you are just asking for trouble in years to come if you don't synchronise them now. Please take it from someone twice your age. I was not born old. In fact, was a product of the generation where masturbation was taboo. I have my (older generation) doctor to thank for synchronising my mind and body, and the good news today is that I still have very strong and frequent night time erections, powerfully rigid morning wood, and a mastubatory regeime which keeps me fit and healthy and as sexually active as I was 30 years ago. I intend to keep this up well into old age, as the health benefits far outweigh and previous old wives tales of harm, shame and guilt. Let us know how you progress. We're only here to help. So get cracking with a daily routine that suits your particular lifestyle, and you'll never look back. Enjoy! Mike.
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