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Apologies for the long post.
I guess I should give a quick run down. I’m a 31 year old male from Australia. I have been dealing with anxiety and depression for around 15 years now. I was managing for a good few years but I was using marijuana to cope. My use became out of control so I decided I needed to give it up as it was just putting a lid on everything. I went to a mental health clinic for support. I finally stopped smoking weed and left the clinic feeling some what positive.
I have been out of the clinic for around 1 and a half months roughly. Since being home I have become worse.
I thought my antidepressants at the time (lexapro) weren't helping me as well as they should so I suggested a medication change to my gp. My gp called my psychiatrist and as he was going on holidays he said she could handle the change of meds. I got switched over to mirtazapine 15mg at night. As the days went by I started feeling worse. I know these meds take time to work so I kept going with them in hope I would start feeling better. Since starting and the two week mark on mirtazapine I have irrational anger, noise sensitivity, increased negative thoughts, head tightness, poor memory and concentration and some dizziness and vision disturbance. I kept telling myself that things would level out soon but they haven't. By around the 4 week mark My thoughts have become totally negative, I barely want to speak or be around anyone but I am scared of being alone and I constantly think of suicide. I got my psychiatrist appointment pushed forward as this was all worrying me. I described this all to him and he believes I have borderline personality disorder, so he has taken me off mirtazapine and back to lexapro and added seroquel morning and night.
I have gone from at least having a little hope, making plans and doing things to not wanting to leave my bed and having constant feelings of hopelessness, despair and it's like my mind constantly thinks of suicide. I don't think I really want to commit suicide but it is now just always there. I also get what I would describe a burning sensation in random parts of my body.
Before the medication change I would let anxiety get the better of me but I started to learn to challenge it and not be as scared of it but this feels different to anything I have ever experienced so I don't believe this is just purley anxiety
I guess I am looking for clarification from others who have had a similar situation. Am I right in saying that the mirtazapine wasn't agreeing with me and all of these newer feelings and sensations should subside once the lexapro kicks back in? I was not as bad until the medication changed. I know a clinic cannot totally fix you but I do feel my home environment doesn't help me that much and maybe I should push to go back at least to see if this all levels out. It's quite distressing and worrying for me.
Thank you for reading and thank you in advance for any replies.
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