My Family just don't get it!

Posted , 4 users are following.

It's not like my husband is unsupportive, it's just that he doesn't understand how I feel. I still do so much (work full time, house work, and entertain 2 kids etc) and it hurts! I'm in pain from when I wake to when u fall asleep, my memory isn't as good and well bed time is a real trauma, you see my husband has quite a high sex drive and we use to (do it) alot, now it's just a painful task that I can't be bothered to do. We have discussed this but I feel that he forgets from time to time that I'm alot more delicate than u use to be And that something to simple and special in a relationship hurts me. I'm sorry to sound so crude but has anybody else having these types of bed time issues???

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    i think your amazing hun working full time and being a mum with young children

    i have not had sex in about 4yrs its just to much .

    its a case of the straw that would break the camels back

    like you i am in pain constantly .and i have other symptoms as well that come later in the condition , so i am afraid  only you can decide  if he can be gentle with you 

    and if you have the energy go for it . if not try and get some councilling on sexul problems i think that relate do this helps people cope with the sexual side of marraige when theres a problem with painful ilneses and conditions 

    there are ways round things and the experts no them 

    my marriage is practilcy  over as my husband wouldnt come to counciling with me 

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    • Posted

      its to late for me hun .

      i was willing to go to counciling well it was more for adviice around the pain

      whilst having intercourse .

      but my husband being  aright cave man decided it would hurt his pride to much . so i lost interest altogether  .when love and consideration go out of a marriage sex soon  follows .

      i hope you can find away around your personal problems 

      as it sounds like your still in love with each other .

      try a soak in a magneisum sea flakes for about 20 mins helps ease your muscles .or you could try heatting and relaxing  your body using an infra red lamp .either are helpful .good luck hun  . you must talk and be open with each other. 

      i tried but its diffitcult  when you get resistence .

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  • Posted

    Hiya MrsShipo...wow!! full time work and a family also having Fibro, .you do deserve a medal .,,,I think your husband going along to your doctor and hearing from a professional might mean more to him remembering, in fact the dr might refer you to see a marriage counsellor ...really feeling for you..my children are all grown up and away now......often do wonder how I ever survived bringing up 3 children???? But you do and so will you,,,being married for 38 yrs is very easy for my husband and I to just concentrate on us now.,and that is just sooo easy, I've had Fibro and Sjorens and other issues for over 22 yrs -well diagnosed anway. We all seem to have had this for years before diagnoses...sooo many differing symptoms for different people...must be very hard for you, my husband is very very supportive too,..,stressing over something is the worst thing you can do for Fibro...hope it all works out for you really soon, have a lovely day, gentle hugs...Gid bless you..:-) xxx
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  • Posted

    Hi Mrs Shipo

    I understand where you are coming from? I too have a job but only part-time then the usual help children with homework, cooking, housework and everything else.  When my pains first started over 20yrs ago, I didn't get any support from my husband as he thought all was ok with me, as I carried on with my normal day to day routine and never really complained too much about my pains. This was all before we had started a family. I had a lot of issues with my inlaws at the time too and my husband was torn between the two.  Although he has a heart of gold he never got his priorities right. We have now been married over 22 years now and have two sons. It wasn't til I was diagnosed last Aug 2014 with Fibro that the family started to give me space.

    I can relate to sex and intercourse can be painful and we have talked about it alot. I feel as he is getting older he is having more desires which isn't a problem but I do feel that I'm letting him down.  We do try and make time for ourselves but at times it can be quite difficult. I also experience a lot of heat at night too and this doesn't help too but I do try to make an effort when I am not at my worst and my husband realises it's not easy for me either.  It has taken him awhile to eventually open up and talk about the issue and I feel by talking to each other does help.

    Hope you get the support your require from your husband soon x

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