My father has COPD and Bacterial Pneumonia.

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Hello everyone. I am new to this site, but I can't think of anywhere else to talk about this. My father is almost 50, has COPD, and he can't even walk out to our porch, which is a couple feet away from him. He gets into horrible coughing fits, says he can't breathe, and has panic attacks when he tries to do so. He was diagnosed in early 2017. He has lost 50+ pounds over the course of all of this, and is very pale. Hardly eats. Just trying to give a little bit of background on him, he isn't healthy at all.

Well, yesterday morning, he had a bad coughing spell and cried to go to the Emergency Room. They got him in and did tests, and he has bacteria/pneumonia in his lungs. They had a lung specialist come in, and they all agreed he needed to be admitted into the hospital for treatment. His oxygen level was at 85% at this time. Well.. He refused, and went home with the antibiotic they gave him in the ER as his only treatment. My mother had been crying ever since they got back, and he looked awful. His lips and fingers were tinted blue. He was even more pale than usual, ghostly white, and he had no emotion in his eyes. I sat with him and begged him to go to the hospital, because with how weak his lungs and immune system are, this is a very real situation. I know he can die from this. He said he is going to wait a couple days, but I fear he won't make it through those days.

This morning, I walked past him, and he jumped up and said he felt "f###ing fantastic." This terrifies me even more, given people usually have that spark of life before passing. One dose of antibiotics won't make him feel that great, given it was severe enough to keep him in the hospital. I don't know how much longer my father has.

I don't know what to do.

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    pneumonia will do it. not much more you can do to help him. he has all the side effects and antibiotics may help. apparently he should not have have left the ER. 
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    • Posted

      Yeah, I know. He refused to stay there, and even my mother couldn’t convince him. He is saying he feels fantastic today, but I know it’s going to go downhill very fast. I don’t know how much longer he has left. 
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  • Posted

    Here's a tip I've used many times: when someone should stay in hospital but won't, ALL family/Friends leave the room & let youngish hot nurse of appropriate sex go in to do some med stuff & chat casually about need for admission. Do not send them in just to talk, they must appear to be working knowledgeably. Have seen it work a # of times. Too many buttons, too much history with those known well to patient, and socials workers are irksome when you're sick.

    With new stronger antibiotics, 1 pill can make you feel better. Dangerous because people often refuse to finish the course.

    One further too which y'all probably know but it bears repeating: speak to him in terms of why each of you needs, not why he should/must/has to. Thus,: "dad, I need you in my life for at least another 5 years. I need your love, your wisdom ... my kids need you as a granddad," vs. " you've gotta stick around for my kids, you should want that, you must see me graduate."

    In the end, he's a grown man. Unless you are prepared to go the harrowing, brutal, family-splitting competency route -- which you'll most likely lose unless he's thrown away a vast amount of money recently-- there's little you can do but love as much as sanity allows.

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