my fear is..

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I'm not scared of dying i'm scared of living.. i've had enough of this life style i hate it.. :twisted:

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  • Posted


    Wow, that's quite a statement!

    But, on reflection, I am sure many correspondents on this site must feel exactly as you do at times. Ongoing illnesses like ours have their 'peaks and troughs, ... and those troughs can certainly get low.

    Are you up-to-date on taking your medication, have you seen your support team recently? How is your support at home? You've done well to voice how you feel on this site, now make sure those you care for understand exactly how you are feeling.

    I don't know what's triggered how you feel at the moment, do you? But I am sure you are aware that people on this site care for one another although we have never met. It's your choice if you want to communicate further .............

    Best wishes,


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  • Posted

    Stephen, i went yesterday to see my psychiatrist who is really nice and understanding, she said to put my sertraline up to 100mg and see how i go from there. You see all of this started when i was prescribed metoclopramide from my doctor took it for six months and ended up a debilitating wreck. So as you can imagine i am weary of taking anything. I have taken the 100mg today so lets see what happens from here. I feel that i am a shadow of my former self i used to be happy, out going and full of energy now i'm just a living lost soul. I have children and feel guilty that I'm not being the mum i used to be. I don't feel powerful like i used to i feel like something has been taken away from me and i am reduced to tears easily. Thanks for your advice it really helps when you get this know that someone is listening.. :wink:
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  • Posted


    Hello again,

    I hope you're feeling a bit better now.

    I had a look on Wikipedia for drug reactions when taking metoclopramide ..... 'Long-term use should be avoided in patients with clinical depression as it may worsen mental state'. It's a bit worrying when side-effects like these turn up, especially when we may feel we were not the owners of a 'mental state'.

    Presumably your Psychiatrist has made a connection with this and is trying to re-balance your system. I hope the increased dosage is of some use to you.

    For what its worth, please don't laugh, I've decided to get back exercising properly again. A natural anti-depressant of course. Well this is day 2, I am jogging 3 miles, up into the local woods to avoid too much knee knocking. My incentive is my daughter has challenged me to run the Cheltenham half marathon in the Autumn. I haven't jogged for nearly a year so it's killing me so far! But I am going to persevere with this one.

    Have you tried to get some more exercise yourself? Now the weather is picking up it's more of an incentive than it was a few weeks back.

    Best wishes to you ,


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  • Posted

    hello c girl,

    think about yr children and how they must feel.

    you know, i used to always feel down thinking i`d be better dead.

    than as months went by, i realised i have my family, what would they do without me.

    i began to hate my husband, i became bitter, but since my dose was increased i feel alittle calmer.

    thinking about the loveones will help.x


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