my fear keeps building and building...

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I have posted some days ago about my type 2 diabetes diagnosis from earlier this year.  I have dome research and research till the point my family are telling me to stop. But I'm starting to get really really frightened. I literally can't stop thing that I might have progressed symptoms of neuropathy and damage to me internally and that will contribute to an early death. I can't stop thinking about it. I'm especially scared because I'm just 30. And all the information I've been reading all point to at least 10 to 15 years shaved off my life span.  And how everyone says they have a team of doctors. I've only seen my gp but have asked several times about how I'm doing and if I need to see different specialists. He said he would refer me to a neurologist but that's so far.  I'm really sad and very frightened

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  • Posted

    I think the way you are feeling now is similar to my own feelings when I was diagnosed T2. All understandable and valid. Hopefully you too will come to accept this issue as one of lifes little wrinkles and not let it define you. We none of us know how long we are going to walk the Earth, we should all know that one day we will stop the walk. I suggest for what it's worth you google "the stages of grief" then see how that fits with your feelings. 

    That said you are in a good position to change some of the possible outcomes of living with T2 because you know about it and now it's up to you to learn as much as you can about the thing so you can modify your lifestyle to give you as long a life span as possible. Knowledge is power. Use it.

    Good luck.

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  • Posted

    I understand your fears. I had gestational diabetes at 30 and at 38 type 2. I am now 57. My A1c runs between 7-8, but that's the best I can do. At about 40, a doctor told me in two years I would be on dialysis. Scared me to death! It hasn't happened but I do have small amounts of proteirn in my urine, according to lab tests. I was scared I would go blind, so I started closing my eyes and trying to get around the house by feeling walls, counting steps on stairs, etc. I then started getting panic attacks over the thought of being blind! I do not have  diabetic retinopathy.

    Nobody knows how long they will live. Lots of people have illnesses and accidents. My ex husband is active and fit and doesn't have to take any medications, but he was just diagnosed with non Hodgkins lymphoma.

    Some people do manage to live to be 90 or 100 in good health, no arthritis or high blood pressure, etc., but that's not a possibility for for many of us. So thinking that you have shaved ten years off your life is not going to help you enjoy the life span you do have, especially if living that extra ten years was never a possibility for you. Maybe you'll just get 72 or 83 years, but that can be a fine life! When people have serious illnesses, then their life span is what it is with that illness. You aren't losing something you never had.

    Sure, you do your best with what you have, but that's all you can do. See your doctor(s) and go from there. You're alive today. Enjoy it. Plan for the future.

    I also get comfort from my Christian beliefs. (I am in the midwest US.)

    Have you been officially diagnosed with diabetes? What is your most current A1C? What are the symptoms you are having that you think are neuropathy? What other symptoms do you have? Have you gotten a thorough eye exam from am opthamologist?

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much for responding. I don't remember what my a1c was but I'm to see the gp again and do blood work again the first week of November when I return from a working trip. As soon as I find out what the last readings were I will let you know asap. As of June I was officially diagnosed with type 2.  My symptoms are numb skin from toes to feet to ankles a wide strip of numbness going up my shins to around my knees. The doctor said it was neuropathy.  He put me on gabapentin for the pain, which has practically gone but the numbness remains and I'm afraid it might be spreading and also I do have moments of nausea,  I don't eat much, sometimes my balance is off and my head feels heavy and I'm constantly constipated. 

      I'm scared of autonomic neuropathy.  But also noticed that those internal symptoms only started really a little recently and only after I've been on the gabapentin for a few months now. I'm completely paranoid 24/7 about myself and what I eat and even what I feel. My average on my meter is 111. And that checking when I wake up, 1 1/2- 2 hours after I eat, and before I got to bed.  And all the reading I did do mainly said that it's downhill from the point of diagnosis.  And average about 20 years of life expectancy after being diagnosed. I only blame myself but it has made me really sad. My mom was diagnosed in her late 40's and is alive today at age 73 and has minor symptoms but she is also older and a very very small sign of neuropathy in a couple of toes. When she was my age she was also very fit as in not overweight. I already have numbness from toes to kness.  

      This sucks. I really messed up.

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  • Posted

    Been there, done that too! Spent first 3 weeks crying my eyes out on a daily basis before deciding I could probably be doing something more productive. Fear is good, at some stage you need to get a grip and use this fear as a motivating factor to do whatever you can to improve your situation. You (we) are lucky as unlike other diseases theres a lot you can do. Check out the website "not medicated yet" So start fighting and fighting hard NOW!   Good luck!!  xxx
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  • Posted

    Hi jgmorales,

    i agree with your family you must stop all this research, you seem to be imagining you have some of the other complications that can happen with diabetes, some of them only happen when you have not followed your doctors directions. It doesn't mean because you have diabetes you will die early. My paternal grandmother was in her 80s  when she died, my father who is 82yrs old with type 2 and going strong as I am myself. 

    I lead a normal life and have learnt to manage my blood sugars to allow myself to do this andI'm not going anywhere yet !

    You need to look forward to the rest of your life and stop your research, I bet the way you are is totally distressing your family so much so that they may feel they are scared to be near you. 

    Take care of yourself jgmorales and do what I did tell your diabetes it's not going to win and take your life back in your own hands, and leave every other web site alone bar this one we can help you get through this. 

    Suzanne 30809 x

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    • Posted

      Thank you so much suzanne30809. If I didn't know any better I'd would think you are one of my family members. Which is really comforting in a way. As much as I think I can shake this feeling off, all of a sudden it gets really hard again. I feel like I really messed up. I wish this was a bad nightmare that I will wake up from. I'm sorry to bring sadness to here
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  • Posted

    You don't bring sadness in your writings, you need to think positive, it's not the end of the world being diabetic, your life had probably changed but it's often for the best, you haven't said if your diet  controlled or on medication.

    it doesn't really matter you are in control you are the one that can normalise your blood sugars with the help of you GP or diabetic nurse. I've been diabetic for 15yrs I am aware of the complications of diabetes but I'm an optimist if something is going to happen it will happen, I think if I was as scared as you seem to be it would drive me mad.

    please please speak to your diabetic team and tell them how you feel, hopefully they can lay any fears you may have.

    take care jgmorales and stay of the web sites. suzanne 

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