My girl friend has Lupus

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Weve been together about 10 and a half months its been very special and we are vey much in love, however the last weeks she has become withdrawn and has said it is her lupus playing up, she has been over sensitive and a little stand offish , I have tried to get closer but as she hasnt had anyone to help her before she seems to push me away, any advice please shes a very special lady who means the world to me, and I will do anything in my power to help her. confused

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  • Posted

    Hello,

    I have Discoid Lupus; which only affects the skin. I was just diagnosed on 7/28 and am currently using a topical steroid cream and just started using an oral medication called Plaquenil. I have done online research and it was very informative. The best advise I can give her is not to let anything stress her and get plenty of rest. It is not the end of the world; there are people out there dealing with worst diagnosis.

    I hope that the information I shared is helpful. Take care and God Bless.

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  • Posted

    Hi Clint,

    It's so nice that you are supporting your girlfriend with her illness. The best thing you can do is read up on the illness and learn as much as possible so that it opens the door to communication with her. There could be so many reasons why she has become withdrawn. There are times when it can be very overwhelming dealing with a life-long illness with no hope of recovery.  You definitely have good days and bad days. You just have to learn to manage it the best way you can which is different for everyone, and do what the doctor tells you. It sounds like she may be suffering from mild depression, which is very easy to do with this illness. She should see her doctor to see if they can prescribe a mild anti-depressent as well as getting her into a support group. Sometimes just talking about it can help. You also get a chance to find out how other people are coping with it and that you are not alone. How long has she been diagnosed with Lupus and what type does she have? Is she having any side-effects from her current medication? Sometimes planning a trip, taking a course, can take your mind of the illness and it lets you focus on something else. If she has been recently diagnosed, it will take her some time to adjust. Try to stay positive for her and hopefully things will turn around for her. Take care.

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  • Posted

    Hi Clint. It is so wonderful that you are reaching out to find a way to help your girlfriend. I was wondering what kind of Lupus she has because that is important, there are many different types.

      

      I have Lupus Anticoagulant and I can definitely tell you she is likely depressed. I suggest that you do some reading about the type of Lupus your girlfriend has. This is very important because you need to be aware of what you are dealing with, and what is to come in the future. Lupus is a very ugly autoimmune disease, and the better you can deal with it will help her. AVOID stress for you and her because stress will trigger her Lupus and Lupus does not discriminate it can attack every part of her body. The nervous system, organs, skin, etc. BEST WISHES

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  • Posted

    Hi Clint0700, have you been able to help your gf w/ her flare ups? Are you still with her? I've had the same man in my life for 14 years, and I was just diagnosed a couple of years ago. It's hard for him to see the woman he loves physically deteriorate and be in so much pain. 

    If you are not with your gf any longer, I will understand if you do not reply to this post. 

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    • Posted

      Hello Lupusgal,

      Yes I am still with her we have been together for 2 years now, I have known about her condition from the beginning of our relationship, I am totally in love with her, yes we have our bad days as far as her illness is concerned but it just makes our love and appreciation for each other deeper, in fact we are getting married in June of this year.

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    • Posted

      I'm really glad to hear you're able to work through it all together. Sometimes, support and love are the best relief from symptoms!
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  • Posted

    Hi Clint,

    Can I just say you sound exactly like my husband. She is lucky to have you but because you are the closest person to her unfortunatley she will take things out on you! I know because I do the same to my hubby.

    When you suffer with any condition we know it's going to take an extra special type of person who we will end up marrying.

    Congratulations to you both and she is a very lucky lady to have you.

    Big Loves & Hugs xx

     

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  • Posted

    There is a link between women who have lupus and anxiety. I think 1 in 3 suffer from it. She will probably be experiencing this- it will be no reflection on how she feels for you. I have Lupus and have had anxiety for years where i have been stand offish etc with my partner. Knowing that it is linked to lupus has helped me because i know it is a side effect of the illness! just be sure she gets enough 'down time' and relax time. Run her a bath, make her a hot drink (us women love that) smile

    Hope this helps!

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