My Girlfriend feels like theres no point in trying to live or improve

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Hello everyone. My gf is diagnosed with manic depression, anxiety and ptsd. She has attempted suicide before and is on a lot of medication. She recently was sent to the ER for extreme suicidal thoughts. She feels as if she doesnt have a purpose in life. She had decided to take the next semester of college off to give her time to work on herself which is great. However she does not really feel like she has a need to change because she doesnt think living is worth it. I want to be there for her and I try to give her as much love and affection as possible. We have great communication and we're there for each other. I ask her if there is anything at all i could do for her but she doesnt think I can help in any way. I guess the biggest problem is her lack of purpose in life. She kind of accepted the idea that she will die inevitably so there isnt a point of getting better at all. I try to tell her that its okay that she doesnt know what she wants to do in life and she'll find it eventually. But she doesnt think it matters and that even if she knew what she wanted to do, she cant do it. I can't give her a reason or a purpose in life But is there anything at all i can do to help her? Or if there is any message I can relay to her it would be great. Anything at all. Thank you so much for your time

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  • Posted

    well, you have told her that it is okay to you, ifshe does not have a purpose.

    tell her that it is your purpose to have her as your life partner. 

    during these states of mental illness, she may not be able to think properly for herself. 

    So you have to take initiative. tell her that she should live happily for your sake. That her companionship matters to you and for you, it is so essential.

    tell her that her just being around you is sufficient to give you happiness.

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  • Posted

    Hi Alchoi, firstly I want to say that I think it is great that you are so understanding of your girlfriends illness, I call it an illness because that is how I see it. I have had depression for 27yrs now and I know how she feels. I considered suicide many times down through the years and never really thought of the impact it was having on my family. It was only a few years ago that my son said to me ( he is 26yrs old ) that the reason he never spent a night away from home at sleepovers or on a night out with friends was because he was always afraid that he would find me dead when he came home. I never realised for a moment that since he was a child this was his fear. Similar to your gf I felt that there was really no purpose in life and that I was a burden to those around me and if I was dead then they would not have me as a worry anymore.I completly lacked motivation and just thought what is the point in going on as I was not living just existing. I have lost many friends from suicide and even found a woman who had commited suicide. That really shook me up for a while but then I went back to my old ways of thinking. I had 2 strokes within 5 yrs and that was when I realised that I could actually die and made me realise how much I actually had in my life and I did not want to die, I had family and friends who loved me even at my lowest and even the ones I had isolated due to my depression were still there for me. I might not have had a job anymore, could not drive anymore or do the most basic things but I fought back and realised that life sucks sometimes but it is good to be here regardless. Last year my sister was sick and something as simple as an infection killed her in 18 weeks and as I sat by her bedside in the hospital and watched as she got sicker with every passing day I said to myself that here she was struggling to live and all the times I wanted to die just because I felt useless in life I realised that as a family we were devestated when she passed away and that what I took for granted ( being alive ) was what had been so swiftly taken from her. I know that this is maybe the response that you were looking for but I now know that the pain will end for the person who decides to end their lives but it is passed on to everyone whose life that person was part of and that is unfair.To your gf I say : It takes time to decide what you want to do in life but make sure it is something that she enjoys and when the time is right she can achieve anything she puts her mind to. My son went to college, after 6 months I took him out because he was depressed, he went back as a mature student 3 yrs ago and is graduating in October so time out from college can be a good thing, it gives time to decide if what you were studying is really what you want to do in life or if you would be happier doing something else. There is something for everyone out there so take your time and when you find it enjoy it , never compare yourself to others as every person is unique and you were given this life to live so please don`t waste it by ending it, the world needs people like you who can help others through their struggles . I am here if you want to talk or you can send me a pm.....Take care of each other.


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  • Posted

    What medication is she on ? It might be altering her state of mind.
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  • Posted

    Hello Alchoi. I read this and felt so sad for you both...but I sure wish I had someone who thought of me like you do your lady. I hope she gets well quickly. Look after each other. Julia 
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