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My Girlfriend has Depression. I dont know what to do. Please help :(

Posted , 9 users are following.

jay08402
jay08402

It was only a month ago when I discovered my girlfriend has depression. She gets thoughts of commiting suicide most of the time, like she wasn't significant enough in life, but she said it was never strong enough for her to carry out the action. She's pretty strong in the sense that she is able to go through this alone, no one knows about it but me and another close friend, but she told me she's starting to give up and give in to it, and shes tired of fighting.

We're still new to our relationship, coming to our 6th month now. Sometimes, the depression really ruins our day, where she becomes cold in how she talks, becomes negative, and really uninterested in everything or anything. I try to cheer her up and get her to do activities but nothing works, and the environment just gets awkward, and that is when she feels we dont 'click'. When I ask her if she feels ok, she gets annoyed and say things like "well if i dont, it's not like you can do anything about it", and I get really demotivated. When I try to talk to her about the problem, she tells me she 'Doesnt need help'. She has been to a psychiatrist once, but she had a very first bad experience which made her skeptical about seeing other psychiatrists.

I am stuck on a lose end because I dont know what to do. She doesn't contact me or give me hugs and kisses as much anymore, and she has no desire for sex. She still says she loves me and thats all that matters, and she told me not to worry, but on my end I am really not feeling the love although she says it, cuz she doesnt show it as much as before. I really just want to communicate better with her about this so we can work this out and improve together as a couple, but everytime i bring up the problem, she pushes me away. I feel that without communication, the relationship won't be as healthy in the future. What can I do?

1 like, 11 replies

11 Replies

  • Mashuga
    Mashuga jay08402

    Posted

    Hi Jay,

    Your girlfriend really needs help from a doctor. Is she on any medication from it? I am in a very similar position to your girlfriend as suffering with severe depression and the best thing I've done is get help. She needs either counselling or cognitive behavioural therapy by the sounds of it. Try and convince her to get help. I can only sympathise with you both as know what it's like!

    • jay08402
      jay08402 Mashuga

      Posted

      Thank you benny for the response. She has never been on edication before sad She did try going to a psychiatrist once, and she said all he did was make her take some oath. She didn't find it helpful so she didnt go anymore. I tried asking her to give it another shot, and Ill go with her, but she said she doesnt like the feeling of being a patient in a clinic, only amplifies her toughts that something really is wrong with her.
    • Mashuga
      Mashuga jay08402

      Posted

      It's really tough for both of you! Perhaps either of her parents or someone else very close could have a word with her and convince her to seek help. It's the only way to get better! It's not good for either of you to carry on like that and it will only get worse if help is not sought. Depression is a serious and potentially life threatening illness and needs to be treated like any other illness. I hope you can find a way to coax her into going the docs. My heart goes out to both of you
    • david79606
      david79606 jay08402

      Posted

      Something really is wrong with her. She is depressed which is an illness of such severity that it makes life not worth living. She should be told that medication might return her to the world although she would need warning that early weeks on drugs can make everything worse. 
  • david79606
    david79606 jay08402

    Posted

    She must see a doctor and get treatment urgently. Her life and yours could be transformed. Don't delay.
    • jay08402
      jay08402 david79606

      Posted

      Thank you for the response david. I'll do my best to convince her, but I dont want to push her as well. It's gonna be tricky, was thinking of first making her feel good, then slowly bring it up, but thank you for your solution. Will definitely keep in mind
  • elizabeth20203
    elizabeth20203 jay08402

    Posted

    Hello Jay,  your girlfriend sounds depressed, with depression you feel no joy in anything even if you enjoyed things before. Suicidal thoughts should be taken seriously, thou she says she wouldn't act on them, i would keep an eye on her. Your girlfriend really needs help maybe medication or Counselling. Offer to go with her to the GP as this is the first call of recovery. Try to get her to talk but don't push her as this can make someone retreat further inwards. Depression is also anger turned inwards. Loss of sexual desire is also part of depression, she may feel unworthy, her self esteem is low.  Give her time, thou i stress that she does need medical help. Hope this helps.

    Elizabeth.

    • jay08402
      jay08402 elizabeth20203

      Posted

      Thank you Elizabeth. Yes I do agree that she does need medical attention, but at the same time I shouldnt push it. Because every single time I brought it up, she does pull further away from me, and she keeps telling me she 'Doesnt need help'. She does find it hard to feel excited about something, and even when she does, it's just a passing phase. She tells me that there is a demon she's fighting within, but at the same time she 'doesnt want help, and be left the way she is'. However she mention that she DID try seeking for help, but it always never cures her problem, and she always feels worse after since another person knows of her problem, and nothing has changed. She's tired of people telling her to just "not think about it" or "it's all in the head", or even just giving her their support, which in the end, thats all they can do for her, but not fix her problem. In a way, she feels really exhausted trying, at her own extent. How do I convince her to keep trying without making the same gestures as the people she confided in before?
  • archemedes
    archemedes jay08402

    Posted

    Your girlfriend really does need to seek the help of her doctor, and you should do everything you can to encourage her to go.

    Failing this, if her suicidal thoughts start to become a stark reality, then I feel she would benefit by talking things through with Samaritans.

    If you cannot get her to agree to this, then you should ask her for her permission for you to contact Samaritans on her behalf.

    If this is a possibility then you should contact them outlining the problems, and with your mutual consent they will contact your girlfriend directly and talk things through with her.

    As I said, you will need her consent to do any of this, but it could prove very worthwhile for her.

    It is not commonly known that Samaritans run this completely confidential referral service, and the two of you could use this facility rather than allow things to get any worse without any help at all.

  • Yolonte
    Yolonte jay08402

    Posted

     Hey Jay, It's seems your girlfriend is providing a known struggle in relationships. Suicide and Depression. You have to look at it like this you and her close friend are her happiness but how could u be that if your not positive yourself. YOU constantly have to remember you have power to change her life. But I know some methods don't work but as my teacher used to say "take it from a different persepctive and you will success towards and over your challenge. I want to ask if you don't mind but where are the parents of your girlfriend because if anyone knows her well it's her parents. One more thing jus stay positive and persistent then eventually you'll get your happy ending

  • Angelo1996
    Angelo1996 jay08402

    Posted

    Hey jay I was wondering if you could tell me how your girlfriend is now because I’m going through the exact same situation with my girlfriend and I really want to help her it’s been 2 years we’re together and it seems her depression Just keeps gets worse and I’ve tried so much but the next step is seeking outside help 
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